


A Shadow Is Infinite

by Evie_adams273



Series: Shadow [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: AU, Blood, Bullying, Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence sequel, Cursed Child AU, Death, Escapes, F/M, Gen, Herbology, I can't remember if Rose is in this, James being a good brother, Lestrange Family, Lily being a good sister, M/M, Making Friends, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Recovery, Sequel, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Violence, adapted timetable, back to being friends, castle attacks, castle in Sicily, currently in editing, less repetative than book one, on their way to boyfriends, retaking a year of school, second in a series, sequel to Shadow In The Valley Of Death, updated weekly (hopefully)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25942783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evie_adams273/pseuds/Evie_adams273
Summary: No one expected the world to go back to normal when Albus, Scorpius and Tiago left St. Mungo's. How could it, after everything that had happened? But with the fear and nerves of trying to go back to school and live through it, something much larger emerged, and Albus has yet to discover the worst that can happen.
Relationships: Craig Bowker Jr./Original Character(s), Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter
Series: Shadow [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1521068
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	1. It's Like Waking From A Daydream

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. So this has been a very long time in the making. I started writing this as I finished the first book in the series, but I got a bit side-tracked and writer's block is a pain in the ass. But I finally finished it over lockdown, and while I haven't finished editing yet, I'll try and do that as I go.
> 
> I'm aiming for weekly updates. If, for any reason, my mental health takes another serious dip and I start missing days, I apologise now, and I'll do my best to keep up with myself.
> 
> Finally, fuck the British government. I'm about to get my GCSEs and we're terrified. Fuck you.
> 
> Trigger warnings for chapter one: nightmares, post trauma, vomiting

Tiago couldn’t sleep. Tiago hadn’t been able to sleep properly since he had left the hospital several weeks ago. It didn’t feel right. Sleeping for long periods of time didn’t feel right, let alone during the night. For seven months, he had kept himself awake for ridiculous amounts of time. He only slept when she let him. It wasn’t just a jump back to normal.

Breaking the habit, or attempting to, hadn’t done much apart from make him detest her more with every passing day. She had been locked up weeks ago, and yet, she could still reach him and rip his mind apart.

Tiago had confided a little of this in his boyfriend, mostly in the middle of the night when it had physically become too much to hide, but he had also regretted doing so. It wasn’t exactly an easy thing to take in. So much of what had happened was so utterly heavy that Tiago felt immensely guilty talking about it. Craig had insisted that it wasn’t a burden. Tiago didn’t entirely believe him.

It wasn’t that he thought Craig would lie to him. He didn’t think that. But he still couldn’t really believe that he wasn’t a burden.

Something in his mind insisted on constantly reminding him that he didn’t really belong in Craig’s home, no matter what anyone told said. He always tried to make himself as small as possible. He told himself that he was a burden.

And he didn’t want to say anything more, because that would make him feel guiltier than he already felt. He couldn’t help but feel that at least some part of the sheer horror of what Albus and Scorpius had experienced was down to his being a coward. If he had put up a fight, even a small one, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten so badly hurt.

She would have killed him but at least he wouldn’t have felt like this now.

No. That was a bad thing to think. He had been fighting for his own survival because he’d had a sense of self-preservation. And he had questioned her, at times. He had made some comments about her actions. He had asked for more food for Albus and Scorpius. He had been punished, but he’d tried. And Albus and Scorpius had survived, to the best of their abilities.

If Albus and Scorpius had died, if they just been found and it had just been him and their kidnapper, Tiago had no doubt that he would now be sat in a cell in Azkaban, no matter what he tried to explain.

All that and more spent an eternity rolling around his head, and still, he never told anyone.

On the few occasions where he had confided in someone, either Craig or, sometimes, Albus or Scorpius, he had felt awful. Not because he had opened up, but because he had opened up to someone who hadn’t known what to do, and when they hadn’t known, he’d felt like he’d irritated them.

He hated irritating people. More than bottling everything up.

Bottling up was preferable to annoying the people around him, because if he annoyed people, they would leave and then he would be alone and being alone was worse than keeping secrets. Being alone meant having no distraction from his thoughts and having nowhere to belong. Even if he didn’t feel as if he belonged now, at least someone kept assuring him that he did.

So he bottled up, and pretended everything was entirely okay. Most people couldn’t tell. Most people didn’t know him very well. He had a good mask.

He didn’t mind that. He didn’t mind that, to most people, he was invisible. After all, who wanted to chat to the Muggle-Born foster kid with no knowledge of anything that was going on around him. It wasn’t that being Muggle-Born meant he was isolated; he was isolated because he hadn’t known anything about the world compared to other muggle-borns, and he had been too shy to approach anyone.

Other Muggle-Borns had been able to read books about Hogwarts and Wizards and have something to talk about. The number of Muggle-Borns he’d seen with Wizarding Fairy Tales or stories or non-fiction books was staggering. But he hadn’t been allowed to get any of those sorts of things. It had all been the necessities and then going home.

Craig had come to him first, seeing him lonely in the Great Hall in Second Year and inviting him over. They had become friends, and then Craig had asked him out at the end of Fourth Year. He’d said yes. There hadn’t been any other answer. Craig was the most important person in his life.

And he was also incredibly cute (especially when he wore his beanie).

They had written to each other almost every day over the summer, to the point where Tiago had had to skimp on his new school supplies, because he had spent too much of the allowance granted by the school on letters. Still, that hadn’t really mattered, because he had disappeared a month and a half into term. At least his friends had been able to use the potions ingredients.

He closed his eyes, shaking the thoughts. He needed to sleep. He was going out tomorrow, and last time that had happened, he had come close to passing out. He didn’t want to inconvenience everyone further, so he had to get to sleep.

He closed his eyes again, resisting the urge to roll over. Beside him, Craig groaned sleepily, and he looked over at his boyfriend, opening his eyes and smiling softly. Craig smiled back, squeezing his hand.

“Hey,” Tiago murmured. “Are you all right?”

“Have you slept?”

“I’m trying. It’s – it’s not really happened yet.”

“Are you worried about nightmares?”

“Not really. It’s just a force of habit.”

Tiago ignored the squirm is his stomach as his body reminded him that he’d lied. He was concerned about nightmares, because their appearances were unpredictable and he didn’t want to disturb Craig. Craig didn’t deserve to be woken up by him screaming in fear. Craig didn’t deserve to have himself burdened.

“You’re not burdening me,” it was as if Craig could read his mind. “I know you’re worried about nightmares. Sleep. If anything happens, I’m right here and it’s okay.”

“I…”

“None of it is your fault,” Craig said firmly. “None of it is your fault and you shouldn’t have to go through this on your own. I am offering to help. It’s not a burden. It’s not a chore. It’s helping the person I love. So sleep, and I’ll be right here.”

Tiago nodded, biting his lip as Craig wrapped an arm around him. He rested his head on Craig’s shoulder, breathing in and out slowly. Everything would be okay. Everything would be okay because he was safe. She was gone. She couldn’t come back.

He closed his eyes, letting himself fall asleep, letting himself fall into the dark pit that had long since consumed his mind. The sooner he fell, the sooner he could pull himself back out of it, and then he could carry on. Hopefully more rested.

* * *

Scorpius leant on the wall as he edged down the corridor, unable to see much in the darkness. He didn’t have the energy to move, but he had to keep going. If he fell now, he wouldn’t get up again, and he couldn’t let himself have another nightmare.

He’d had too many of those. Too many where Albus’ screams filled his head and insisted on ringing through until he forced himself to wake up. Somehow, he always knew he was dreaming, but that didn’t stop the terror. Knowing it wasn’t real now didn’t stop the fact that it had been very, very real.

He had listened to Albus screaming every single day for months and months. He had been powerless to stop it. And now he couldn’t leave it behind.

He was recovering, in most senses of the word. He’d put on most of the weight he’d lost, simply because he was able to eat when he was hungry. Most of the time, it wasn’t during meals, because his hunger fluctuated, but that didn’t matter now.

He’d learnt how to cover up the bags under his eyes which, though technically not recovery, meant the world stopped asking questions. That made it easier to exist outside of the house.

In truth, he didn’t feel like he was getting better. He hadn’t slept through the night in weeks. He knew he wasn’t actually eating properly. He could barely function. Most days, he only dragged himself out of bed because he was aware that he probably wouldn’t have a chance of getting any better if he hid in a dark room all day.

Sometimes it felt like nothing had changed. Sometimes it felt like everything was still as much of a mess as it had been during the days in the Augurey’s office. Not to mention everything that had happened since. And he didn’t know how to cope with that feeling. With that feeling that he was still lost, would never be truly found.

He had held out, for so many months, the hope that they would be rescued, that they would all be okay. But now it had been a month of being at home and he still felt entirely lost and alone and confused.

He’d started to shut the world out in the second week, loathing himself when the feelings started to extend to Albus. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be around Albus. Simply that he didn’t want to impact Albus’ healing when his own wasn’t going anywhere. He wanted to give Albus the best chance to get better, and Scorpius knew that wasn’t around him.

He took another step forward, and then another, and then another. Slow. He just needed keep moving slowly. Physically and metaphorically.

Eventually, he reached the room he was trying to reach, knocking on the door feebly as he leant against the door frame. No one answered, and he knocked again a couple of minutes later, attempting to put a bit more strength into the movement. This time, a voice rang out through the door, inviting him in, and he pushed it open.

His dad was sat up in bed, and he got up as he saw Scorpius, nearing collapse. 

“I – I couldn’t sleep,” Scorpius mumbled. “I – I need to – but – with everything – I’m sorry – I…”

“It’s okay,” his dad was at his side in seconds, wrapping his arms around his son and half-carrying him to the bed. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“I – I heard screaming,” Scorpius nodded. “I – Albus – Albus screaming…”

He started to cry, his hands shaking as he drew his knees up to his chest. It was over. He had to remember that. He had to remember that it was all finished, and they could continue with their lives. Because if he didn’t remember that he doubted he would get very far once he went back to school.

“Albus is safe,” his dad rocked him back and forth gently. “Albus is okay.”

“I know,” Scorpius nodded, “I know – I – it’s just – he wasn’t – and I keep – I keep hearing that…”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Scorpius paused, and then he nodded again. Maybe it would do him some good to try and talk it out. If he needed to stop, he would be able to. Just as much as he could manage. To try and help himself.

“I – she – the room she put me in,” he started slowly, “I could hear what – what she was doing. When she wanted to ask Albus questions, when he didn’t know the answer, she hurt him…and I could hear it…I could hear all of it…”

“Okay,” his dad murmured. “Okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“Albus hasn’t written much,” Scorpius mumbled. “I understand why…but I’m – I’m scared…”

“I can write to Ginny tomorrow, if you’d like. I can ask if Albus would like to spend the day here, or if you’d be able to go and see Albus.”

“I don’t want to bother him…”

“You won’t be bothering him. You’re his best friend. You went through this together. It’s not bothering him to want to see him.”

“Okay…okay,” Scorpius looked up at him. “I – I should sleep…”

“Then sleep. I’ll be right here.”

Scorpius nodded, lying down on the bed. His dad sat beside him and he curled up next to him, trying to close his eyes. It took him too many attempts. It took him too many glances upwards to make sure he wasn’t alone. But eventually, he managed to slip off to sleep, safe in the knowledge that he wasn’t alone, and that he would always be protected here.

He did dream. The nightmares did explode inside his head. But when he woke, screaming and thrashing around at the phantom Delphi to stop, his dad was right beside him, assuring him that it was over, that he and Albus were safe. And Scorpius believed him. It wasn’t a struggle. It wasn’t a struggle to remember that it was over.

It was simply a struggle to remember that he had to try and move past it all.

* * *

Albus squinted in an attempt to see something, anything, as he stumbled around in a desperate attempt to find his way out. It was too bright, and the room was too open, but he had to get out. It was supposed to be over. There was supposed to be a way out.

He screamed out, sinking down as a wave of nausea washed over him. How was he meant to find a way out when there didn’t even seem to be walls? How was he meant to save people when he couldn’t even save himself?

He had been so stupid to think that getting home would mean everything would just end. He had been so stupid to think that they would just be left alone. But then again, he couldn’t remember how he had even ended up in this wall-less room.

There was a voice, a voice starting to creep inside his mind. Quiet. Urgent. Soft. Male. Not Delphi. Delphi wasn’t trying to get back to him. Well, no. She probably was. But she couldn’t get to him.

A familiar voice, that he couldn’t place. A familiar voice, of a person, who cared about him, of a person he cared about. He shut his eyes, screaming out again. He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t focus enough to think clearly.

“ _Albus_!”

Albus wrenched his eyes open, flinching as he realised the room had changed. Almost pitch-black. And there were walls. And he wasn’t alone.

He didn’t know who was there, who was half-screaming his name to get through to him, but he didn’t have time to care. As another wave of violent nausea washed over him, he stumbled blindly towards where the door might have been, before grabbing the bin and vomiting into it.

The person appeared at his side again, somehow holding a damp cloth, which they pressed to the back of his neck as he retched again.

“It’s okay,” they – James – murmured. “It’s okay.”

“Jamie…” Albus looked up at him, trying to ignore the rancid taste in his mouth. “What – what’s…”

“You had a nightmare,” James said softly. “You were – screaming.”

Albus nodded, swallowing slowly. He leant back into James, who pulled his wand out and vanished the mess silently, before continue to brush the back of his neck with the cloth.

“How are you feeling?” 

“Cold,” Albus croaked. “And – and I…please…please don’t go…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” James promised. “I’m staying right here. For as long as you want me to.”

“I keep – I keep thinking I’m back there,” Albus mumbled into James’ shoulder. “In my dreams…it’s really open…and bright…the lights are so bright…even though there’s no windows.”

“It’s over now. It’s all over, and we’re here for you. Whatever you need.”

“Scorpius. I – I need to see Scorpius.”

He hadn’t seen Scorpius more than two or three times since they had come home. They’d written, but even in letters, Scorpius seemed distant. Albus didn’t push him. He didn’t want to push him into doing things he wasn’t comfortable with. Still, he missed his friend.

“I’m sure we can arrange something in the morning,” James said. “He probably wants to see you too.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Albus bit his lip. “He – he’s been distant – and I understand why – but what if he doesn’t want – what if he doesn’t want to see me…”

“Are you trying to tell me,” James smiled slightly, “that Scorpius Malfoy wouldn’t want to see _you_.”

“I don’t know. And if he doesn’t – I – I couldn’t be angry with him – I wouldn’t be – but I don’t…I don’t know…”

“I’m sure he wants to see you too,” James said quietly. “Now, let’s get some sleep? It’ll all be okay in the morning.”

“I – I need to get some water,” Albus started to stand, stumbling towards his door.

It wasn’t a long way to the bathroom. He could make it that far, and get back in one piece. James was right behind him. It would be okay. He stumbled again, trying to lean on the wall for support.

“Hey,” James caught him. “Hey, Al. Let me. You sit down and I’ll go.”

“It’s fine,” Albus insisted. “Honestly, Jamie, it’s fine…”

“It’s not fine. Sit down. Please.”

Although Albus did not intend it, at that exact moment, his legs collapsed from underneath him. He didn’t have the energy to move again, watching James smile softly at him and disappear out of the room.

Albus knew exactly where James was going. He had taken that journey a hundred times before, but the moment the door closed, the shadows started to creep in. He drew his knees up to his chest again, trying to remember how to breath. If he kept breathing, it would stop everything from overwhelming him again.

Being at home meant safety. Complete safety. He had to keep promising himself that the threat was gone. Until James came back. Until James got back he could keep promising that much to himself and it would make everything okay. Once James got back, he would actually believe himself.

James made things safe because he was allowed to do magic and was on his way to becoming an Auror. It was early days still, what with James still being at school, but Albus knew he would be good at it. James would keep him safe. He just had to hang on for a bit longer.

Except, even James, with all his talent and magic and ability, wouldn’t be able to fight Delphi. Nearly ten Aurors had struggled to subdue her. James couldn’t fight a battle like that on his own. If they weren’t safe now, they would die. They would die. And Scorpius would die. And Tiago. And Lily. And his parents. And Scorpius. And–

Albus threw up again, lurching forward as he tried to reach for the bin that was just a little too far out of reach. He could hear footsteps that went from walking to running to almost-sprinting. Or it felt like that. There wasn’t enough space in the house. But time seemed to have slowed down.

He collapsed, narrowly missing the pool of sick as his head hit the floor. The door opened again and he heard James working out how to navigate the new situation. He let his eyes drift closed, trying to promise himself that James was safe, because there was no way that Delphi could get out of Azkaban. No way in a million years.

“Hey, Al,” James settled next to him again, “can we get you sat up?”

Albus nodded faintly, allowing James to help him sit up and lean against the wall. James passed him the glass of water, which he sipped weakly while James cleared up the mess.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.”

“I – I made myself spiral…”

“I don’t believe you would do that purposefully.”

Albus didn’t have a response to that.

“I’m here. You don’t have to be scared.”

“I know,” Albus tried to smile. It didn’t work. It felt entirely fake. “I – I know.”

“Do you want to get back into bed?”

“Can I stay here – with – you?” Albus looked at the floor.

“Of course.”

James stood up and walked to the bed, pulling the duvet off, before grabbing another blanket and several pillows. He walked back to Albus with the stuff, sitting down and helping Albus sit on the duvet as he lay it out. Then he draped the blanket over the both of them and wrapped his arms around Albus, who buried his head in James’ shoulder and tried to close his eyes.

He still felt sick. He still felt scared. But he felt safe. James would always keep him safe. Just like James had always kept him safe.

Just like, every time the bullies came after him near James, James had always stepped in. Just like James had kept Lily safe when he’d been gone.

Just like James would always keep him safe.

* * *

When Scorpius woke up in the morning, his dad was still asleep, so he allowed himself to doze, feeling somewhat reminiscent of the nights they had spent in Hospital. Those days had been surprisingly okay. There had been a lot of pain, a lot of aches, but also a lot of smiles.

He had seen Albus, been near Albus, for every moment of every day. He had met Tiago. He had spent more time with his dad than he could ever remember spending at one time, and they had continued in that vein, though it wasn’t overwhelming.

He liked to focus on that. He liked to focus on the fact that, despite everything, he was closer to his dad. Maybe it wasn’t worth as much pain as it had taken, but that had been what happened, and he couldn’t change that.

Delphi had tried to destroy him. She had made so much of his existence a painful nightmare. But there was something positive that had come around. Not that he would ever thank her. 

“How are you feeling?” his dad murmured, apparently sensing he was awake.

“I’m – I’m okay. A – a bit hungry.”

The slight ache in his stomach was an odd sensation, given that he hadn’t been hungry for days now. He didn’t know whether it was down to a reluctance to eat, or simply because his body had grown used to a lack of food. But this morning, he was actively, decisively hungry. He wanted to eat.

“Do you want to get some breakfast?”

“Please,” Scorpius nodded.

He sat up slowly, looking around the room. He didn’t know whether he’d actually be able to walk downstairs, given how exhausted he had been in the night. But he’d slept, and he felt okay. So it would probably be alright.

He stood up, taking a step forward. And another. And another. His dad walked with him, and together, they slowly but surely, made it downstairs.

Scorpius went to reach for the cereal when they got to the kitchen, but his dad indicated for him to sit down, so he did. In truth, he was still tired, and was grateful that he didn’t have to move very far. Today would be draining, whatever he did. But he would make it through.

He breathed out slowly, part of his mind starting to wonder what Albus was doing, and another part fighting the feeling of guilt that started to build as he thought.

“I can Floo-call Ginny after breakfast, if you’d like,” his dad said. 

“Okay,” Scorpius nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

However, at that moment, a head popped into the fireplace and Scorpius jumped halfway out of his skin until he realised that it was James. Scorpius smiled slightly as James started to speak and his dad jumped, before turning around.

“Good morning, James,” he said. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks. How are you?”

“We’re doing okay,” his dad replied. “I was about to call you, actually. Scorpius was wondering if he’d be able to see Albus at some point.”

“Absolutely,” James smiled. “That was actually why I was calling. Albus had a bad night and asked if he could see Scorpius.”

“Is he okay?” Scorpius felt his heart start to race.

If Albus wasn’t okay, if something had happened to Albus, and he hadn’t known because he was shutting the world out, he wouldn’t forgive himself. He wouldn’t be able to.

“Albus is okay,” James nodded, “please try not to panic, Scorpius. No, Albus is okay. Just a bad night.”

“Yeah,” Scorpius nodded.

“When would be best for you?” his dad asked.

“Al’s still in bed, so feel free to Floo over in about half an hour,” James smiled.

“Okay,” Scorpius nodded again. “Thank you.”

“See you soon.”

With that, James’ head disappeared from the fireplace and Scorpius tried to take a deep breath. He would be okay with Albus. Albus needed him to be there. He wouldn’t make Albus worse. He had to remember that.

His dad sat down next to him, squeezing his hand gently. He smiled back, breathing out slowly. Everything would be entirely okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To reiterate again, fuck the government and fuck Boris.  
> I'm so tired and I'm so done.  
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273  
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck JKR


	2. Victory Is Fleeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: scars, self deprecation, food/bad eating habits

Scorpius flooed over about forty five minutes later, trying to ignore the fact that he’d had a minor panic attack over whether Albus would actually be happy to see him. Albus had asked for this. Albus wanted to see him. And he wanted to see Albus. He wanted to stop shutting himself up because he thought he was doing the right thing. He wasn’t.

When he landed in the Potter kitchen, it took him a moment to register that the spinning had stopped and that he could stand up. He did so, faltering as he realised that James was sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hi,” he mumbled.

“Hey,” James smiled. “How are you doing?”

“Not too bad,” Scorpius lied. “You?”

“I’m okay,” James nodded. “Albus is still upstairs but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you waiting in his room.”

Scorpius considered this for a moment, before shaking his head. Too much harm had been done in a very similar manner. There was no circumstance in which Scorpius would agree to making it worse, especially when Albus seemed to be recovering from a bad night.

“Can I wait downstairs?” he asked. “Something – one of the things – it was bad. I don’t want to scare him.”

“That’s fine,” James nodded. “Would you like some tea?”

“I’m okay, thank you.”

Scorpius sat down at the table, fiddling with his sleeves. Something about James assured him that he didn’t need to mask anything within the Potter household. Especially around James. James seemed to understand. He always had. He understood and respected. Scorpius wasn’t scared of looking uneasy around him.  
“Hi, Scorpius.”

Scorpius glanced up as Ginny walked in, trying to make himself smile convincingly.

“Hi,” he said. “How – how are you?”

“I’m well, thank you,” Ginny continued towards him. “How are you?”

“I’m – I’m okay,” Scorpius lied again.

“I’m glad,” Ginny squeezed his shoulder gently. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

Scorpius nodded, the smile becoming easier to maintain as she walked away. Ginny, Ginny and James, had this innate ability to make him feel safe. When Ginny had assured him that they would find Albus during the rescue, he had believed her.

They sat in vague quiet for a few minutes, Scorpius only looking up when the kitchen door opened again and Albus walked in, still half asleep. He stopped as he saw Scorpius, and for a moment, Scorpius thought he’d done something wrong. But Albus smiled.

“You came,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah,” Scorpius stood up. “Are you – are you alright?”

“Bad night,” Albus shrugged. “You?”

“I…yeah…”

Scorpius didn’t say much else, but Albus seemed to understand. He nodded.

“Do you want to head upstairs?”

“Are you eating?”

“No. Later. Probably.”

“Okay,” Scorpius stood.

He followed Albus up the stairs, attempting to ignore how exhausted his limbs were and sitting down, but only when Albus did.”

“Are you actually okay?” Albus asked.

“Tired,” Scorpius admitted. “I haven’t really been sleeping through the night.”

“Neither,” Albus muttered. “Fuck. Fuck, this is a mess.”

“Have you talked to Tiago?”

“I’ve owled Craig a couple of times. Tiago isn’t doing that well, according to him.

Scorpius nodded, unsure of what he could or should say to make the situation better. Not that anything would really help.

“How are we going to start going to school again?” Albus muttered. “If we’re still like – like this…”

“We have time to settle in.”

“And you’re just going to throw yourself into it, aren’t you?”

“Probably.”

“Is that good for you?”

“No. But it’s easier.”

Albus nodded and Scorpius drew his knees up to his chest. He wanted to say something, to fill the space with some sort of sound, but he didn’t know where to start. Or what to start with.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I’ve shut you out a lot.”

“No, you haven’t.”

Scorpius looked over to see Albus settled beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“You haven’t shut me out,” he smiled. “You’ve needed time and space to try and heal. I understand that.”

“Did it hurt you?”

“That doesn’t matter. I’ll always be here for you, but if you need space, I respect that. Just like I know you’d respect me if I needed it.”

“I need you,” Scorpius whispered. “I didn’t realise. But I do need you.”

“Then I’m here for you.”

“I’m here for you too.”

“Thank you,” Albus looked at him, a couple of tears spilling down his cheeks.

“Albus?”

Albus smiled bitterly, looking forward and curling one of his hands into a slight fist. “People keep trying to tell me how to move on. But they don’t get it. None of them get it. Auntie Luna does – a bit. But she’s away a lot.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“The scars,” Albus croaked. “I have huge fucking scars all over my back. And they couldn’t get rid of them, which means they’re always going to be there to remind me how much I’ve fucked up.” Short silence. “You know what? Maybe they’re deserved. I’m sorry. I’ll shut up.”

“Don’t think that,” Scorpius said sharply. “Don’t you dare saw that you deserve what you went through. This was one person’s fault, and that person isn’t you. No one, no one at all, deserves what she did to you.”

Albus didn’t say anything and Scorpius looked at him, eyebrows raised, until he smiled a little. Scorpius turned to bury his face in Albus’ shoulder. He hadn’t really comprehended how much he’d missed Albus until he had seen him walk through the door. He didn’t want to let go again. He needed Albus. He hoped Albus needed him. And that they would be okay.

They sat, arms around one another, for about half an hour. Eventually, Albus’ stomach rumbled so loudly that even Scorpius heard it, and he looked at Albus.

“Do you want to get something to eat?”

“I should,” Albus nodded, “but I was sick last night. Still don’t feel a hundred percent.”

“You don’t have to eat a lot. Just something small.”

Albus paused, and then nodded again. Scorpius helped him to his feet, keeping an arm wrapped around him. He smiled. Despite all previous thoughts, coming here had been a good idea. He only hoped that it was helping Albus as much as it was helping him.

Once back in the kitchen, both of them directed each other to sit down. Scorpius smiled, nodding at the table again.

“You sit,” he said, “and then tell me where to go, because I have not been in your kitchen before.”

Albus smiled, take a seat at the table, and Scorpius went to the worksurface before turning back to look at Albus with the expression of ‘where is anything?’

“Bread is over there,” Albus pointed. “Butter is in the fridge.”

“How much do you want?”

“Not much. One slice?”

Scorpius nodded, going to pull the bread out of the breadbin Albus had indicated. He put it on a clean plate that had been dried beside the sink, before buttering it slowly. He set it down in front of Albus, before sitting beside his friend.

“Thank you,” Albus picked up the first piece, taking a small bite.

Scorpius smiled at his friend. The lethargy had started to lift from his shoulders. The sun streamed through the windows.

Today would be a good day.

* * *

It seemed that confiding in Craig had been the right decision, because it had only been a few days past that when Tiago had first slept through the night. The other nights, when he had had nightmares, he had admitted it. He had tried to stop being afraid about talking.

The days begun to pass more quickly, and Tiago started to grow a little more comfortable with the concept of his own existence. Sometimes, even the guilt began to shift from his chest. It always came back, but, Merlin, it was something.

Craig knew about that too, and he took every opportunity he could to remind Tiago that it had not been his fault. Tiago believed him, and that belief actually made it through.

A few days into August, Tiago excused himself from the social situation he was attending, sitting down on the bed with his knees drawn up to his chest. Trying to concentrate on his breathing. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. In time to Craig’s counting that now played in his head.

Craig came in a few minutes later, knocking before he pushed the door open.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Tiago nodded. “It was just a lot.”

“Family are loud,” Craig chuckled. “Sorry.”

“It’s not a bad thing. I’m just not used to it. And I’m grateful you all understand.”

Craig smiled, sitting down beside him and pulling out a piece of parchment. “I got a letter, addressed to both of us.”

“Have you read it?”

“Not yet. Thought you might want to open it.”

“Okay,” Tiago nodded, taking the parchment and slicing through the seal.

Why couldn’t he stop his fingers shaking? Why was he having such an adverse reaction to opening a letter. They wasn’t likely to be in any sort of trouble, so who would be contacting them?

He stopped thinking and pulled out the letter.

_Dear Tiago and Craig,_

_We know we haven’t really spoken to you guys much recently, so we hope you’re doing okay. We were thinking about September, and that we’re going back to school, so we need to get some new supplies._

_We were wondering if you wanted to come with us when we went, as we were planning on going a little earlier than normal (to avoid the crowds). If you don’t want to, that’s fine. We’ll see you at school_

_Let us know what you want to/don’t want to arrange._

_Hope you’re okay._

_Albus and Scorpius_

Tiago put down the letter, passing it to Craig. He surprised himself in the fact that he wanted to go. Albus and Scorpius’ suggestion to go earlier seemed comforting, and seeing them again would be nice.

The idea of going still unnerved him a little, but that wasn’t anything new. Trying to navigate London alone had always been one of the worst parts of his year.

But this time, he’d be with friends. He’d be with _Craig_. Who would be here. Who would understand whatever happened.

They didn’t need much, anyway. Wands had been found in a sweep of the building, laid out like prized possessions. They had the books from the previous year they were about to redo. All they needed were Potions supplies and possibly some new robes. Tiago still hadn’t regained the weight he’d lost.

“Do you want to?” Craig murmured.

Tiago nodded. “If you want to.”

“I’m happy to come with you.”

“Thank you.”

Craig took his hand, squeezing it and smiling. Tiago smile back, leaning his head on Craig’s shoulder. Occasionally, he very much liked being shorter than his boyfriend. Craig wrapped his arms around him and they lay back on the bed together.

“Thank you,” Tiago whispered, “for everything. You’re – you’re the best person in my life. Without you…I don’t know…”

“I’m always going to be here. Whatever happens, I’m here for you.”

Tiago breathed out, closing his eyes. “You’re the reason I’m still alive.”

Craig didn’t say anything, but Tiago didn’t need him to. The sheer weight that had just lifted from his chest was enough.

“The whole time, I kept thinking that, if I made it back – without ending up in Azkaban – maybe you’d still be there.”

“I waited,” Craig said. “I knew you were coming back and I waited. And I’ll always wait for you. For however long I need to. I’ll wait.”

Tiago’s eyes filled with tears and Craig smiled at him. The sun had started to set and Tiago curled up, burying his head in Craig’s shoulder. He’d dozed off within minutes.

* * *

After the day that Scorpius had come to see Albus, he had ended up staying the night, returning home in the morning to assure his dad that it was all completely okay. He’d come to see Albus every day since. Not today, however.

Albus understood exactly why, because he understood the plans to meet, as a group, on Diagon Alley and do some back-to-school shopping. He’d get to see Scorpius in less than a few hours, as well as seeing Tiago and Craig.

None of the reassurances stopped him from being terrified. The idea of going into a crowded area, even at a quieter time, did nothing short of scare him shitless. He hadn’t gone out much since coming home. Almost every space had been enclosed since they had left Hospital. He’d gone on walks with Scorpius, even venturing as far as the local park on one occasion, but Diagon Alley was unfamiliar and crowded and open.

He’d have to find Scorpius first, a task that caused the bile to rise in his throat. He gagged, biting his lip and attempting to get his breathing back under control.

James and Lily weren’t coming. They hadn’t received their book lists and James had to help Lily catch up on the work she had missed while Albus had been gone.

Albus understood that he was meant to feel safe around his parents. What he didn’t understand was how he was meant to reach that point of trust. They were reaching the point of a year since everything had kicked off and, while it had been mentioned and Albus had pushed it away because he hadn’t been ready to talk about it. No one had mentioned the argument since.

Albus drew his knees up to his chest, closing his eyes. He wanted to heal, to keep healing, and that meant admitting how he felt. Scared. Scared of going outside, but he would go anyway. If he went, despite the knot in his stomach, then he would have been brave.

Proof that he could be courageous would help him. For some reason, he couldn’t take his own word for it.

Someone knocked on the door and Albus looked up, inviting them in. His dad pushed the door open and Albus dropped his knees back to a normal position. His firsts instinct did not allow vulnerability, certainly not to his dad. That would have to change, but later. Not now.

“Hi,” his dad smiled. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Albus nodded, the reaction more instinctual than true. “Yeah. A bit – nervous. About today.”

“Because there are going to be more people around?”

Albus hesitated, staring straight forward. “It’s going to be open,” he said. “Really open. I’ll be fine once we’re with Scorpius…it’s just getting there.”

“We can Floo in if that would help. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind meeting us at the Floo point.”

“No, it’s fine,” Albus shook his head. “I need to – I should do this like a normal person. It’ll – it’ll help.”

“Okay,” his dad nodded. “As long as you’re sure. And you’re doing well. Really well. She’s gone. She lost. She’s still losing.”

Albus’ chest tightened and he dug his nails into his arms. He didn’t want to scream. But Merlin. Winning. Losing. Why did the entire world seem obsessed with that concept? The world didn’t work like that. People didn’t win or lost. People lived or died. He had lived and was now trying to keep it that way.

Nothing had actually been won. None of it had been a victory.

Too much pain had been caused to celebrate anything. How could they celebrate when they were still struggling to sleep through the night? How could they celebrate a victory when the prize had been the bare minimum of no death.

“Albus, are you okay?”

“Why is it about winning and losing?” Albus muttered. “Why is everyone so fixated on that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve just said that she’s still losing. Everyone keeps talking about not letting her win. It’s stupid. She won. Just because we survived doesn’t mean she didn’t win. She’s still here. She’s still fucking around with everyone’s head. She won. Whether I carry on or not doesn’t have an impact on that.”

Silence fell and Albus sighed, staring upwards. He didn’t want to end up in an argument. He didn’t have the energy to consider that, let alone see one through. But he’d led them to that point so it was probably about to happen. Speaking his mind had always been the problem. He’d just been stupid enough to let it happen again.

“Is that how you feel?” his dad asked. “Do you feel like you’re not safe.”

“I feel safe,” Albus mumbled. “Most of the time. I just don’t – I don’t think anything can really be described as successful or ‘winning when it’s like this.”

“Okay,” his dad nodded. “Okay. Do you want to do this? Is this what you want?”

“I want to go back to school,” Albus insisted. “I have to get used to existing like a normal human being. So today – today has to happen.”

“I understand,” his dad said quietly. “But if you need to, just say the word, and we can go home. Don’t push yourself past what you’re comfortable doing.”

“Thank you. I – yeah – today should be okay. Thank you.”

He in as his dad came to hug him, closing his eyes. His breathing relaxed, shoulders no longer shaking, and he smiled slightly.

He attempted to carry that feeling of warmth with him when, a few minutes later, he stood waiting for his family by the front door. People kept running up and down and looking for things and continuing the erupting chaos. He didn’t want to say anything because he didn’t want to annoy anyone. He could keep his discomfort on the down low for the sake of everyone else.

So he just stood, waiting for the world to settle so that they could get going. If he went through one breath cycle every fifteen seconds, he would breath about twenty-four times before things settled. He could count that. If they left in the next six minutes, they wouldn’t be late. And they weren’t normally late.

Three minutes later, no one seemed any closed to getting out the door. Three minutes after that, Albus stopped counting his breaths. It was stupid to let it get to him. It wasn’t worth getting worked up over. But Merlin, he felt like walking shit.

Scorpius slowed him, in a good way. Slowed his racing heart and kept him calm. He’d see Scorpius soon. He’d be safe soon. Soon. Once everyone had stopped shouting above him. Once the noise had stopped getting louder and louder and louder.

Albus sunk down against the wall, curling up and closing his eyes. He couldn’t tell if he was actually breathing, but his chest had constricted too much to try.

“Albus.”

“Albus, are you okay?”

James sat next to him.

Albus opened his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Albus tried to say something but his voice caught in his throat and he coughed.

“–nervous, and it’s loud…”

“Okay,” James murmured. “I’ll be back in a moment; I promise. Will you be alright?”

Albus didn’t have to think to know he would not be alright, but he nodded anyway, closing his eyes. James shifted away from him, and Albus started to rock back and forth. His mind was about to implode. He barely had the energy to move, much less wander around the centre of London.

He couldn’t do this, but he had to. He did have to actually make an attempt at keeping on. Continuing to just go to the park every day and act like that constituted progress was a lie.

The noise had started to die down. Or maybe he had just been able to block it out. Albus looked up to see James coming back towards him. It took a moment for Albus to actually clock what had happened, but he smiled when he realised, taking a deep breath.

“It’s going to be okay,” James sat down again. “I can come with – if you want.”

“You’re busy.”

“I can make myself less busy.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. The others are nearly ready. It’s going to be decent.”

Albus nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who managed to get a small part of a routine together.
> 
> And who is also a hugely detached mess.
> 
> What is gender?
> 
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Thanks for reading  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Fuck JKR  
> Black Lives Matter


	3. Getting Through the Simplest Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings: anxiety, past trauma, food

Scorpius couldn’t concentrate. Not on the right things, anyway. He understood that the surroundings were safe. He was in a safe, happy place. With his dad. Eating sugar. Opposite a bookshop.

But Albus would not be in this state of vague tranquillity, especially if things had not gone entirely to plan at the Potter household. Albus would be panicking, so Scorpius couldn’t enjoy the ice cream. His thoughts jumped back to Albus about once every fifteen seconds. It was neither something he wanted or was able to shut out.

He met his dad’s gaze, smiling back at him. Today would be a good day. Because today could be a step forward and if they took it, they could be proud of themselves.

Scorpius started to running through the list of things they needed to get. The main item being robes, and some potions supplies. Other than that, the point had been to resume normality. Him and his dad, the Potters, and Tiago and Craig. A normal day out.

Scorpius glanced up as Lily shouted his name from across the street. She hurried towards him, a huge smile plastered on her face as she threw her arms around him. He laughed as she hugged him. She did this every time they met. He never got tired of it. He never got tired of how safe she made him feel.

The rest of the group had turned up when Lily let go of him. Scorpius said hello to everyone before turning to Albus. He had hung back, hands shoved in pockets, incredibly pale.

“Hey,” Scorpius took him to the side. “Are you okay?”

“We were late,” Albus mumbled. “And they’re very loud.”

Scorpius nodded. “If you need a time-out today, just let me know – we can find somewhere quiet.”

Albus nodded back and Scorpius took his hand, intertwining their fingers. Albus’ shoulder rose and fell a few times, before he gestured back towards the group. Scorpius smiled and they walked back.

“So,” Harry was saying to the group. “Where do we want to go first?”

“Robes are going to take longest,” Scorpius’ dad said. “Should we go there first?”

No one objected to this, so the group headed towards _Madam Malkin’s Robes For All Occasions_. Albus kept stumbling over his feet, clinging to Scorpius’ hand and arm to keep his balance. His steps started to become more regular as they got closer.

The entire process, at the shop, took less time than Scorpius had thought it was, despite opting to go one at a time. Everything had gone well, except Albus kept hanging back and, when Scorpius and Tiago both had robes, he looked close to tears.

No one noticed at first, but as Tiago finished paying and the attention in the room shifted, more people started to become aware. Scorpius took Albus’ hand and walked him to the corner, glancing at James, which James understood as a prompt to start some sort of conversation.

“Hey,” Scorpius murmured, looking back at Albus. “Do you need to go – what’s going on?”

“No,” Albus swallowed. “No. I’m sorry. It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Just – it’s just – my back.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No – I just – I really don’t want anyone to see – see it.”

“I understand,” Scorpius nodded. “Do you want me to say something? I’ll be vague.”

“Could – could you?”

“Of course. It’s going to be alright, Al. I’m right here. I’ll be right here.”

Albus nodded and he and Scorpius walked back to the centre of the shop. Madam Malkins passed Albus a robe and he walked towards the changing stall. James continued the conversation – apparently about Quidditch – which seemed to have been very successful as a distraction.

As Madam Malkins walked away to do something, Scorpius followed her. He hung back as she turned to look at him, before swallowing.

“Albus is – he’s worried about this,” Scorpius forced his voice to be calm. “He has something on his back that he’s very self-conscious about.”

“I’ll be careful,” Madam Malkins nodded.

“Thank you.”

Scorpius walked back to the group, listening to their avid excitement about the game. He smiled; he rarely saw his dad this passionate about a subject, but he and Harry seemed to be engage in a fairly friendly debate about different Quidditch fouls. And something called a Wronski Feint.

Albus walked out of the changing stall a few minutes later, the robes hanging off him, despite the fact they were probably smaller in size than normal. He stopped in the centre of the room and Madam Malkins started pinning the robes in place.

Albus kept glancing at Scorpius, his expression flickering, but Scorpius could see him relaxing as the time passed. His shoulders started to sink from the tense place they had been sitting, his smiles becoming more genuine. More normal.

Scorpius knew he wasn’t going to be ready to go back to school, come September. He’d go, even if throwing himself into schoolwork would probably hurt him overall. But he could cope with that. That would help him cope with the rest of the crap.

Albus, on the other hand, would need the term they had to settle in again. The term they had to bring themselves back to normal. The term where Scorpius to swore to himself that he would be there for Albus, no matter the reservations Albus had about sharing his problems.

Albus didn’t seem to understand that Scorpius didn’t mind, but he was more than happy to listen to Scorpius talk if he needed to. Scorpius couldn’t be at all angry about that because he was exactly the same. A tendency to blame himself and not want to burden anyone around him.

But together, together they could be okay. Tiago and Craig were there too. Also understanding. Also healing.

* * *

By the time they left the robe shop, the time had gone twelve-thirty. They found a café with enough room for all of them, settling down some lunch. Albus’ plate remained fairly full, still very on-edge after the robe appointment.

He hadn’t really thought about how self-conscious he would become about his back when he actually had to consider it in a more public setting. He didn’t want other people around his scars, seeing his scars. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of them, but they were private things. Private parts of his past.

His secret.

He didn’t want to give the fucking newspapers anything else to lap up. They’d had enough. The amount of times his dad had left the room at the hospital for a few minutes only to have to apparently move through mounds of reporters to get back. He didn’t understand why they couldn’t just leave. Half of them had lived through the war. He didn’t understand why they didn’t understand trauma in the slightest.

No. He wouldn’t give them anything else to play with.

His scars were his secret.

Unless Delphi ever chose to share it.

If he did that, Albus knew it would make its way to the press and then all privacy would be gone. Delphi wouldn’t have any legal access with the outside world, but if she wanted, she’d find another way. She would always have a way to haunt them.

Albus flinched, looking up when Scorpius nudged him. He forced a smile, picking at his food again. He needed to eat, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He’d try later. Maybe with more success. Right now, he could just wait for everyone to finish.

Everyone else had continued the conversation that had begun in the robe shop. Albus watched, wondering if he would find a time later to thank his brother.

James understood. James understood best of anyone who knew but hadn’t been there. He never judged or got angry or tried to change the narrative. He supported and was _there_. Which Albus needed. Someone who listened. Someone who was there.

They’d all been assigned Mind Healers at the Hospital. They all had regular appointments, but talking to James was more of an eminently human experience.

Confiding in Scorpius went without saying, but Albus didn’t want to overload him when Scorpius had his own demons to battle. Talking to James didn’t worry Albus quite as much. Lily seemed to have taken that route too.

Lily. Merlin’s Beard. Lily.

She had started to find her spark again. She’d been reluctant to talk at first, but after she had admitted what had happened to her, she had also been assigned a Mind Healer and had started to recover. She’d been better, especially since she had been doing things that Albus knew he should try. He didn’t have the energy.

She had said, once, that she only had the motivation because she had promised herself she would get better after they had been found. Albus wished he had something like that.

But he didn’t, so he kept picking at his food and trying to remember to breathe.

“How are you feeling?” Scorpius murmured, taking Albus’ free hand.

“Tired – didn’t sleep well. Are – are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Scorpius smiled, shaking his head. “Just worried about you.”

“I can finish this,” Albus looked at him. “I’m okay.”

Scorpius nodded and Albus leant his head on his shoulder, allowing his eyes to drift closed. Scorpius brushed the hair away where it had fallen in his eyes.

Albus didn’t know what he’d done to deserve Scorpius. Maybe he didn’t deserve Scorpius because Scorpius sure as hell deserved so much more. But Albus would always be eternally grateful for whatever forces had brought them together.

* * *

“Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?” Scorpius dad’ embraced him again as Scorpius put his trunk down in the hallway. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I want to, dad,” Scorpius smiled. “This is the right thing for me to do. Going back and getting on with everything – it’ll help.”

“If it doesn’t…”

“I’ll tell you,” Scorpius nodded. “I promise. I’ll write every single day and I’ll be honest. If it’s not working, we can try and work something else out?”

“Of course,” his dad nodded. “Whatever happens, it’s going to be okay.”

“I know. Do you?”

“Yes,” his dad chuckled. “Yes. I do know.”

Scorpius smiled, hugging his dad once more before buttoning up his cloak and picking up the trunk. Kings Cross. Hogwarts. Normal life. Normal life with frequent trips to the Mind Healer.

Scorpius glanced at the photo of his mum on the side, trying to think of what she’d say today. Something that would have made him feel warm and happy and proud of himself. And loved. She still loved him. His dad took his hand, smiling. He smiled back.

They walked down to the main gate, more slowly than in previous years. Scorpius didn’t let go of his dad’s hand. He didn’t care that it looked juvenile. He loved his dad and the world could do what it wanted with that information.

They passed through the gate and his dad looked at him. “Ready?”

Scorpius nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in preparation for the crushing suffocation that ended fairly quickly, thank Dumbledore. Scorpius still stumbled as they appeared at the station. He stopped himself, taking his dad’s hand again as they wandered through the station.

The shouts and stares would start soon. Possibly, they would be less prevalent since the real child of Voldemort had been revealed, but then again, if there was one, there could be another.

Scorpius kept his head down and kept walking. The Potters were likely to be at the platform. Tiago and Craig would be there soon. It would all be okay. It had to be okay.

Scorpius had spent the last week of the summer, when alone, revising the first term. Or some of it. They weren’t going to be expected in every single lesson until the fifth week or so, and homework wasn’t required until a little after that.

Scorpius moved through the crowds to the station barrier. Within minutes, he stood on the platform in the familiar clouds of steam. His dad laid a hand on his shoulder and they walked away from the barrier, aware that people might not take kindly to his reappearance.

Scorpius set his trunk down and glanced back at the main bulk of people. He couldn’t see the Potters, and part of him wanted to get on the train and find a compartment so he could avoid people. He didn’t. Albus would need to see him when he arrived. And he would need to see Albus.

Despite claiming he felt fine, Scorpius’ heart kept pounding out of his chest. The clamminess of his hands made it difficult for him to hold onto his trunk, but he didn’t say anything because this was what he wanted. He could keep telling himself that.

He perched on the edge of the trunk, focussing on his breathing when he glanced up and saw Lily charging at him. She collided with him with a strange amount of softness and he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. When she let go, as with Diagon Alley, the rest of her family, and Tiago and Craig, were behind her. Scorpius smiled again.

Albus looked pale, but he relaxed as Scorpius pulled him into a tentative hug. Albus bit his lip as they broke apart and Scorpius brushed his hair out of his eyes again. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he murmured. “Promise.”

Albus nodded, swallowing, and Scorpius glanced down to see his knuckles had turned white from holding his trunk.

“Shall we get on?” Scorpius asked. “Find somewhere quiet?”

Albus nodded again, turning to his parents to say goodbye. Scorpius went back to his dad, biting his lip as his dad wrapped his arms around him. Scorpius knew it wouldn’t be long. Not really. They would write daily. And they’d discussed Hogsmeade weekends as possible visiting times.

They were all going to be entirely okay.

Scorpius, Albus, Tiago, Craig, Lily and James climbed onto the train. Tiago and Craig bid goodbye and went off to find their group. Scorpius and Albus found an empty compartment, stowed their luggage overhead, and sat down.

“Do you mind if we stay?” Lily asked, standing in the doorway.

“Of course not,” Albus smiled. “Yeah. Of course you can stay.”

Scorpius moved closer to Albus, taking his hand tentatively as Lily and James sat opposite them. They talked for a bit, though there wasn’t a lot to catch up on – they’d seen each other almost every day for a month.

The started to move about half an hour later and the talking stopped and started. It gave a semblance of normality.

The only differences being there were four of them, not two. And the Trolley Witch ignored their compartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far we are on track for once a week which is always a good sign. I am also not dead yet which is another good sign.  
> I start school this week and I've planned this around it but I can't promise I'll stay regular. Sorry.  
> Thanks for reading.  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter : @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter


	4. One Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: bullying, discussion of trauma and depression

Albus had always expected the first day back to be difficult. He had known getting himself out of bed and up to breakfast would be hard. He hadn’t anticipated exactly how much his body would resist movement. The worst part of this was that he did need to eat. He’d barely eaten a thing at the feast. He just felt more nauseas than ever.

Everyone else had gotten up and started moving around in the new dormitory (now that Albus and Scorpius were redoing fourth year, they’d been moved to the appropriate dormitory), and Albus pulled a pillow over his head. Merlin, this had been a big mistake. Coming back had always been a bad idea. But here they were, so here they would stay.

Albus would stay for Scorpius, to support his friend and stop him from exhausting himself. Which he would do. Albus needed to stay and make sure that Scorpius remembered to eat and sleep and look after himself. He knew that Scorpius would do the same for him.

Albus groaned as a weight settled at the end of his bed, looking over to see Scorpius dressed and ready for the day.

“I – I can’t,” Albus whispered. “I can’t do this.”

“Okay,” Scorpius nodded. “It’s okay.”

“What?”

“We don’t have to be in a lesson until third. You can take your time.”

Albus nodded. Third lesson. Over three hours away. He could make that an attainable goal.

“Alright,” he nodded again. “Alright. Third. Yeah.”

“We’ve got Herbology.”

Albus breathed out, his chest relaxing. He could manage Herbology. He’d seen Neville a couple of times over the summer, and Neville was his godfather, so Neville knew and understood. And would understand.

Albus lay for a couple of minutes before he sat up and leant back against the headboard. Scorpius smiled at him. He tried to smile back. It felt more like a grimace.

“Do you want me to go get us some breakfast?”

“The hall will be really busy. I – if you want to go – I can come – I just…”

“Do you want to come?”

“Not really.”

“Then stay here. I’ll bring some stuff back up for us. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Completely.”

“Okay,” Albus nodded. “Yeah. Thank you.”

He drew his knees up to his chest, emerging slightly from beneath the duvet. If he started slow and kept on steady, he would make it through. One day at a time. Things could, and would, get better. They both had so many people who loved them and would support them through everything. Just as he would be there for them.

Day one would just be the hardest.

Scorpius smiled at him, standing up and walking out the door. Albus slid back under the covers, staring at the ceiling and breathing out slowly. He didn’t feel like eating, but he would. Even if it was just a slice of toast. That would be enough.

* * *

Scorpius kept his head down as he hurried across the Common Room, avoiding all eye-contact. People were staring. People had already bombarded him with questions the night before. He didn’t want to leave Albus alone for too long, so he would avoid all delays. As much as he could.

He pulled his hood up as he approached the Slytherin table, making note of where the plainer food was to just be able to grab something and get out. If he timed it right, he could probably get some Pumpkin Juice, but there was water in the dormitories.

He grabbed a napkin, taking a few slices of bread and butter, a few sausages and some eggs. He wrapped them up and went to turn away.

“Hey, Malfoy,” the shout came from behind him; Scorpius ignored it. “Malfoy,” someone tapped him on the shoulder. “Did you enjoy meeting your sister?”

Scorpius didn’t respond until he turned around and saw them still stood, waiting. He fought the urge to roll his eyes and started to walk away.

“Malfoy,” one of them pulled his hood down, yanking him backwards. “We asked you a question, you stupid prick.”

“I don’t have a sister,” Scorpius looked them dead in the eyes. “And if you’re going to keep asking, no I didn’t enjoy meeting that woman. She nearly killed me. She nearly killed one of the people I care about most. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m taking this downstairs.”

He started to walk away again, but they seized him, forcing him to drop the food and face them.

“You’re a fucking liar, Malfoy,” one snarled. “You were working for her. Everyone knows that.”

“Where did you get that idea?”

“Every news article about the entire fucking thing.”

“Those articles were double and triple-checked by Harry Potter.”

They didn’t appear to have a verbal response to that, instead choosing to walk towards him, flank him, and then start walking out of the hall. Scorpius tried to make himself breathe, while also swallowing to quell the rising nausea. He didn’t want to be sick but that seemed to be on the cards. At least vomiting on them would probably get them to leave him alone.

He had known this would happen. He had hoped it wouldn’t have been this soon, but here they were. Whatever was about to happen would happen in an enclosed space, it would hurt, and it would not be pretty. He could probably hide it from Albus, though. He didn’t want to worry Albus.

“Hey!”

Scorpius looked up in the direction of the shout, but they forced him to keep walking, now both with hands on either his wrist or shoulder.

“Hey!”

This time, one of them moved, forced by some spell, and Scorpius tore away to see James running towards them, wand still raised. He caught up, ushering Scorpius behind him.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Malfoy wanted to show us something.”

“Yeah…no,” James said. “You two have a history of being dicks towards him. First day back? Go fuck yourselves.”

“You’re not more important than us, Potter.”

“I am if you’re going to beat him up for no reason. Whatever rumour you’ve justified to yourself, it’s bullshit and Scorpius has done nothing wrong.”

Scorpius wanted to mutter something about that being debatable, but he had the sense to stay quiet. If this ended soon, he could just grab some more food and get back downstairs. In future, he could just go to the kitchens. The House Elves wouldn’t mind. It would be safer.  
“Leave him alone,” James continued. “If you go near him again, I’ll fucking skin you.”

Both of them laughed, but they walked away and James turned to Scorpius. Scorpius flinched, but he accepted the hug offered, breathing in and out. Fuck. He couldn’t stop shaking. He’d probably have to leave the Pumpkin juice – he’d just spill it.

One day. It hadn’t even taken one day.

Scorpius pulled out of the hug, mumbling a thank you to James and going back to the table to try and salvage a bit of food. James followed. He didn’t complain. James had just saved him. He couldn’t complain.

“Thanks,” he looked at the floor after he’d finished. “I should go back to the dormitory.”

“Are you okay?”

Scorpius nodded.

“I’ll see you later? I’m here if either of you need me.”

Scorpius nodded again, walking away and keeping his head down. He didn’t want to listen to the sheer volume of noise that filled the room, but it was inevitable. This was optimal breakfast time. This did at least mean it was quiet when he got back to the Common Room. A couple of people emerged from the dormitory, smiling at him. He returned it, somewhat unfamiliar with the gesture.

Albus was still lying in bed and Scorpius approached slowly, setting the food down on his own bed before perching next to Albus.

“Are you okay?”

Albus jumped, his eyes shooting open, and Scorpius cringed. His nerves melted away a moment later when Albus sat up and smiled at him. An anxious smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“Are you?” Albus asked. “You’re very pale.”

“I – yeah, I’m fine,” Scorpius lied. “Sorry I was gone longer than I was meant to be.”

“It’s alright. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Scorpius nodded. “I’ve got some breakfast if you wanted some. Toast and stuff. Didn’t manage to get any juice. Sorry.”

“Stop apologising,” Albus said. “And yes. Could I have some? Thanks.”

Scorpius leaned over to his bed to take some of the toast. He passed one slice to Albus and bit into the other. He didn’t want anything to eat. He felt like he was going to be sick. But he didn’t want to worry Albus and he still wanted Albus to eat.

“Something happened, didn’t it? When you went up.”

“Yeah,” Scorpius mumbled. “A couple of people thought it would be funny to try and corner me – take me somewhere. James stepped in.”

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know their names. And I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter.”

“It won’t matter to anyone else. They never did anything about bullies before.”

“It matters to me.”

Scorpius nodded, biting his lip. Albus reached out and took his hand and Scorpius moved so that they were curled up together against the headboard.

“Looking forward to Herbology?” Albus murmured.

“I guess. I think I’ve got a vague idea as to what we did last year, so it should just be a bit of revision.”

* * *

About an hour and a half later, Albus and Scorpius left the dormitory, keeping their heads down through the Common Room of Sixth and Seventh Years, and walking in the direction of the greenhouses. It was earlier than necessary, but both of them were moving quite slowly. It had taken Albus about half an hour to find his robes and get dressed.

They crossed the grounds, Albus had his hands in his pockets and Scorpius was carrying a small mountain of books under one arm. Albus didn’t question it. Scorpius wanted to throw himself into the work and Albus wasn’t going to stop him. He understood Scorpius needed it and it was better at helping him cope than wallowing.

Albus faltered when they reached the greenhouse – Neville was teaching a class of second years, but he looked up and smiled when he saw them. After he had set them off on whatever task they were completing, he came around to the door and opened it. Albus took his hands out of his pockets.

“Hi,” Neville opened the door. “How are you two?”

“We’re – uh – we’re okay,” Albus said. “We only have one lesson today we thought we could try coming down early, but you’ve got a class so–”

“You can still come in. I’ve got a relatively soil-free office.”

“Don’t worry about it. Honestly, it’s fine. We can come back later. We shouldn’t be here anyway.”

“Albus,” Neville said firmly. “It’s cold. Come into the office. Scorpius looks like he could do with putting those books down.”

Scorpius giggled, the nerves breaking through as Albus nodded. They followed Neville into the greenhouse, avoiding the stares of students as they edged across the side of the room.

Being back in Neville’s office was a comfort. This had been Albus’ safe space before he had completely redefined his idea of safety. Lily had mentioned, once, about how she had researched here. Neville had helped her, and helped her do it healthily.

“I’ve got to go back to my class,” Neville said, “but make yourselves comfortable. It’s nearly break.”

Albus and Scorpius both perched on the sofa opposite the desk, Scorpius placing his books on the floor and glancing at Albus.

“How are you feeling?”

Albus jumped, and then he smiled softly. He shrugged, not sure whether he would be able to make his vocal cords work properly. He didn’t want to talk much anyway. All he could think about was Lily in the Hospital.

Lily, who hadn’t wanted to leave the room, let alone go home, on the first day back. Lily, who had sat in the corner of the room and waited for him in every moment she had not been with him. Lily, who confessed hours and hours of research into thousands of past cases.

But she was getting better. She’d put on the weight she’d lost. She’d smiled more. And even though seeing any sort of light in her eyes was rare, she had still had it occasionally. Very occasionally.

Albus shook the thought. He needed to have a half-decent first day back and this was not the way to go about that. Lily was okay. He could find her later, to make sure. But she had plenty of people looking out for her too.

He leaned his head on Scorpius’ shoulder, closing his eyes. Scorpius put an arm around him, picking up a book with his free hand. And there they stayed for the twenty minutes before the bell rang and Neville came back into the office.

He went to the other side of the room, switching on the kettle and washing the dirt from his hands. After that, he pulled his chair out from under the desk and sat down near them.

“How are you doing?” he asked. “Earlier was hardly a decent catch-up.”

“We’re – well…” Albus didn’t have an answer and Neville nodded.

“Take it easy this week. I know you’ve only got one lesson a day, no one will blame you if you have to miss it.”

Scorpius looked unsure, before he nodded and looked over at Albus. “If you need to…”

“That applies to you too,” Albus said. “If you need to miss a lesson, you are allowed to miss a lesson.”

“We’ve only got one lesson a day for a week and a half,” Scorpius pointed out. “If I can’t even do that…”

“Then it’s okay,” Neville stressed. “Scorpius, it’s incredible that you’ve both come back so quickly. You are allowed to not be okay.”

“Yeah,” Scorpius nodded, still reluctant to accept the fact.

Albus took his hand, squeezing it. Scorpius nodded again.

“Sir,” Albus winced as the idea to speak sprung from his lips without any sort of consideration.

“Albus, I’m your godfather.”

“What happened with Lily?” Albus mumbled. “When we were gone.”

Neville faltered. “Lily. Lily – struggled.”

“She said that you asked her to come and research in here.”

“She was doing everything she could to find you two. She was in the library all night every night. I only suggested she come in here so that I could keep an eye on her. Merlin knows she needed it.”

“When?”

“About a month in. She stopped coming after a while. After Christmas.”

Christmas. It had almost been a year since that hellscape of a day. It had been worse hearing Scorpius in that sort of pain, knowing exactly what it felt like, than experiencing it first-hand. And the bloodied school shirt…

No. No. He didn’t want to focus on that. Not that, or the fact that Lily and James had been caught up in everything. Not the fact he would have to face Christmas Day this year.

Though, no one would say it would be the best thing for him to do, so maybe he could just stay in his room. Or he could stay at Hogwarts. Or maybe see Scorpius. Just not a Christmas at home. Which would entail too many people.

“Albus,” Scorpius said quietly. “Are you okay?”

“Uh – yeah,” Albus flinched. “Yeah, sorry. Got distracted with – everything.”

“That’s okay,” Neville said. “We can talk about something else if you want to.”

Albus nodded.

* * *

Through some sort of minor miracle, Albus survived Herbology. He enjoyed the work once he’d gotten into it properly. And the rest of the week followed with reasonable success. One lesson, around midday, was an achievable goal, and they wouldn’t have homework until the fourth full week.

Tiago had been given a similar timetable, though it was more strategic in nature because he was in OWL year. Albus and Scorpius sat with him and Craig during mealtimes when they attended. Being part of a group had the added bonus of sparing them from the eye of most bullies.

Albus didn’t necessarily feel as if they were recovering, but between a vaguely ‘normal’ existence and weekly trips to see a Mind-Healer, there were fewer nightmares and meal-skips. Things were improving.

Albus checked up on Lily as frequently as possible. She seemed okay, and like her catch-up attempt over summer had worked. Albus did his best to help her out when she got stuck, and James looked out for everyone.

Despite the time it had taken, things were starting to look up. Albus would talk himself to sleep at night by counting out lists of every person he was grateful for. Or every person he cared for. It helped.


	5. When Misunderstandings Lead to Judgement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: physical assault, blood, vomiting, injury detail
> 
> It truly is a messy chapter today

Tiago didn’t know how many weeks into term they were. Even on the reduced timetable, he was still struggling under the pressure of how much he had to learn. Still, it was a half-decent distraction. Between schoolwork and Craig, he didn’t have time to focus on anything else. It still forced itself in periodically.

It wasn’t healthy, but none of this was healthy. He spent a lot of time walking to and from the library, finding new routes around the castle. He liked the detours, even if they all seemed to go via the top floor. He enjoyed it and he probably wouldn’t stop until he had a full timetable again.

Something echoed in the corridor behind him and he glanced over his shoulder. It wouldn’t be anything to worry about, but he’d spent too much time being manipulated in this way to just ignore it. Every time Delphi had caught him in the wrong place, she hadn’t been kind to him. And the wrong place had always seemed to be a different place. Tiago couldn’t work out whether it had been purposeful of just because she was unhinged.

And he couldn’t work out why he was so obsessed with it.

It had been months since they’d come home and he still couldn’t stop fixating. He hadn’t told anyone about it. Apart from Craig.

Craig, who Tiago still loved with everything he had. Craig, who Tiago still knew he didn’t deserve. Craig, who still had the patience to deal with Tiago. After everything.

Tiago smiled. No matter how much he didn’t understand how he had been so lucky, he never questioned it. He didn’t take it for granted, but he accepted it gratefully. He’d said this to Craig once. Craig had told him that he deserved it. Craig didn’t lie. Tiago believed him.

Tiago kept walking. If he went down the stairs at the end of the corridor and waited long enough for them to move, he would end up at the library. He could get back to Common Room from there.

He couldn’t help continually glancing over his shoulder, but once he heard footsteps he whirled around. He had no time to react as a fist collided with his face, knocking him backwards.

He didn’t manage to regain balance and run before someone grabbed him from behind and forced him down a side passage. They pinned his arms behind his back, laughing at his discomfort. As much as Tiago tried to ignore it and work through what little self-defence he knew, he couldn’t just block out the pain of being shoved into the walls.

“What do you–” Tiago broke off as one pressed an arm up against his throat.

“To teach you a lesson,” he snarled. “Scum.”

“What are you–”

“You’re not a good liar, Jenson,” the other – the one not restraining him – snapped. “We all know why you really went missing.”

“I got kidnapped,” Tiago stared at them. “A crazy bitch kidnapped me.”

“You helped her.”

“I did her housework because she threatened to kill me. What would you have done?”

“Fought back.”

“You never cared about Albus or Scorpius anyway. Why get pissy now?”

Tiago groaned as a fist came flying into his stomach, doubling over when it was followed by another and another and another. His legs gave way in the split-second that they stop. He curled in on himself, trying not to cry. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t be seen as weak even though crying didn’t make you weak. And he was weak.

“You helped her.”

A kick in the stomach.

“You did what she wanted.”

A kick in the chest.

“You’re as bad as Malfoy.”

A kick in the face.”

The blood had started dripping down his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut. They’d get bored soon. Someone would find them soon. It would stop soon.

Everything they had done could be repaired. The almost-certainly shattered ribs and nose. The blood soaking through a lot of the school uniform he owned. The aggressive nausea. It could all be fixed.

But they weren’t done yet.

One of them grabbed him by his collar, dragging him to his knees and motioning for him to stand. Tiago didn’t, unable to make his body support his weight. They cried out angrily, shoving him into the stone wall and laughing at the ensuing crack.

Tiago shut his eyes, waiting for them to leave. They were done now and once they were gone, he could get back to the dormitory. Maybe. Why the fuck had he thought the top floor corridor had been a good place to come?

Something in his head was bleeding. He didn’t know what.

* * *

Scorpius curled up beside Albus on the sofa, opening his book and reading from the marked page. Albus reached over and put an arm around him. This habit they had developed had never been something they had decided on, but it belonged to them now.

The close balance between intimacy and friendship while they were both aware of the history they had was something Scorpius had never expected to emerge this close to all of the events.

Part of him considered that, had they not been kidnapped, they would still be two dating teenagers and this would have been an immediate habit. He was glad it was now. He understood and respected Albus’ wish not to be in a relationship, and he knew how Albus felt.

This wasn’t to say that Scorpius wasn’t still utterly in love with Albus. Albus remained one centre of his elliptical universe (the other being his dad). He loved Albus, and he also understood.

They hadn’t really talked about ‘them’ since that day in Hospital. Scorpius hadn’t tried to push the subject. They were still close friends. They were still recovering. They didn’t have to talk about it. Scorpius would have been happy to date Albus, but Albus would have to make that decision alone.

Scorpius glanced up as Craig sat down opposite them, his knee bouncing. Scorpius cocked his head, but Craig shook his head, so Scorpius returned to his book. Craig spent the next ten minutes glancing up to the door constantly, until Scorpius snapped the book shut.

“Craig,” he tried not to be sharp. “What’s going on?”

“Tiago’s not back from the library. He’s normally back within half an hour, but it’s been over an hour.”

“Do you want to go and find him?”

“I don’t want to be controlling. He’s got boundaries and I shouldn’t worry.”

“I think worrying is acceptable here,” Scorpius murmured. “We’ve all got reasons to be scared.”

“Will you come with me?”

“Of course.”

Scorpius stood and Albus, who seemed to have been listening, stood with him. Albus packed his stuff up, taking Scorpius’ book, and they followed Craig out of the Common Room. He headed up the opposite stairs to the library and Scorpius jogged to catch up with him.

“Tiago takes detours fairly often,” Craig explained. “It’s quicker to take the routes he takes.”

“Which way does he normally go?”

“Via the top corridor. He likes the quiet.”

The three of them jogged up the stairs, arriving at the top corridor with little to no incident bar a small altercation with a trick step. The corridor was silent, Craig calling Tiago’s name a few times.

Scorpius caught his breath and walked down the corridor, looking for any sign that Tiago had been or still was there. He arrived at a side passage, gagging at the blood dripping off the wall. Behind him, Craig threw up.

“I can find him,” Scorpius murmured. “He can’t have made it far. If you don’t want to see this.”

“I need to help him,” Craig snapped, spitting out something. 

“Here,” Albus pulled out a bottle of water. “Drink.”

Craig did so, washing his mouth out before vanishing the entire mess behind them. Scorpius looked back at the bloodstains, his thoughts flickering between the thousands of different injuries they’d sustained. Because he could still picture every single one.

Scorpius started walking, humming a song to himself. He needed to focus himself and his brain had started to overload. But it wouldn’t crash. It wouldn’t do him that courtesy.

“Who did this?” Craig croaked. “Who fucking did this?”

“Second priority,” Scorpius muttered. “First is finding him. And we will.”

He broke into a jog, better suited to the pulse of the chosen song, and continued to let his eyes dart between the droplets of blood on the floor.

“This is fucked up,” Albus sounded close to tears. “We’re tracking him by a trail of blood. This is so fucked up. This was supposed to be over…”

Scorpius ignored him. Albus had started freaking out and Scorpius wanted nothing more than to stop and pull him into a hug and whisper that it was over and that this was a one off and that they would be okay.

The bloodstains led to a bathroom and Scorpius pushed the door open, wincing at the sounds of vomiting.

“Tiago?” Scorpius said. “Is that you?”

Tiago whimpered and Scorpius approached the stall he was in, placing a hand on his back. Tiago flinched, relaxing back into Scorpius’ touch as he was sick again.

Tiago had a huge gash on the back of his head and the blood had trickled down his neck and matted itself through his hair. The skin visible at the base of his neck had turned purple, and his nose was almost certainly broken. He had a had on his lower ribs and stomach, groaning between retches.

Scorpius glanced back to see they were alone. Craig hadn’t come in. Not that Scorpius blamed him. Had it been Albus in this situation, he would be the wreck, scared out of his mind, unable to behave logically. But this wasn’t Albus. This was Tiago.

“I’m going to take you to the Hospital Wing,” Scorpius murmured.

“No,” Tiago pulled away from him, leaning up against the stall wall. “No, I’m – I will be – fine…”

“You’re vomiting blood and you’ve cracked your skull,” Scorpius said. “Among other things. Please. Please come to the Hospital Wing.”

“What did Craig say?”

“He asked us to come and look for you. He’s outside.”

“But what did he say?”

“We didn’t get that far.”

Tiago closed his eyes, groaning in pain as he tried to nod. “I’ll go if he wants me to.”

Scorpius didn’t get another answer in as the bathroom door opened and he looked up to see Professor McGonagall in the doorway. She shooed Scorpius out the way and he backed into the corridor, looking at Albus.

“She was the first person I found,” he explained. “He needs to go to the Hospital Wing. We can’t just start pretending this shit doesn’t happen.”

“To Tiago or in general?”

“In general,” Albus moved closer, taking his hand. “Promise me? Promise me when shit happens again, we’ll tell someone?”

“Promise,” Scorpius nodded.

He looked forward again as McGonagall emerged with Tiago. He was limping, leaning on the wall, and Craig rushed forward to help support him.

The walk to the Hospital wing gave Scorpius time to think. Not just time to think, but also time to get angry. This wasn’t a typical assault. This had been a near-murder attempt, for reasons Scorpius couldn’t come up with. He wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d done it to him, but what did anyone have against Tiago.

What had anyone ever had against Tiago?

* * *

Upon making it to the Hospital Wing, Tiago was in too much pain to do anything except lie on his side and let the blood trickle from a hundred different places.

Craig sat beside him, never moving through all of it. All of what felt like hours of waiting. Maybe it had only been minutes. Tiago didn’t know. Every breath set his chest on fire. His vision had long since been clear. Even Craig holding his hand hurt, but he didn’t dare stop. Craig anchored him to reality and he would be damned if he let that go.

When Madam Pomfrey turned up, he wanted nothing more than to tell her that he was fine and he would be fine and she didn’t do anything. He kept trying to roll away from her, the throbbing pain his head become overwhelming with every movement, but it didn’t matter.

He didn’t need her help. He didn’t need her near him. He didn’t even understand why he was so averse to it. But he wouldn’t let it happen. Not to him. He wouldn’t make this worse in some way. He could heal his own injuries or wait for them to heal and it would all be fine.

No. No. He did understand. After every instance of Delphi hurting him, every time he’d used some sort of Healing potion he’d managed to find, it would just make it worse. It didn’t matter that this wasn’t Delphi. He could heal naturally and he would be fine. It would just take a little longer.

He had done it for two hundred and twelve days. He had carried on with his life. He had done his best to help Albus and Scorpius. He could do this now. 

“Tiago,” Madam Pomfrey’s voice broke through his mind. “I need you to stay still.”

“No,” Tiago shook his head in one direction, the pain exploding again. “No, I’ll be fine. I’m fine. I’ll go.”

“You can’t stand,” Madam Pomfrey said. “Craig had to carry you the last bit of the way.”

Tiago pulled himself to sitting, his head heaving him one direction. He followed it, simply because it went away from _her_ , and he stumbled onto the floor, screaming in pain.

Craig knelt down beside him, taking his hands, and Tiago closed his eyes, attempting to stave off rising nausea.

“I can’t…” he croaked. “Craig – I can’t…”

“Will you try?” Craig whispered. “For me. I’ll stay right here. I won’t let go. I won’t let you get hurt. I promise to keep you safe.”

Tiago looked at his boyfriend, his eyes filling with tears. Craig’s bottom lip was quivering, his eyes shining, and Tiago croaked out an ‘okay’. For Craig. He could do it because he loved Craig and he trusted Craig to keep him safe.

“Come sit on the bed,” Craig helped him back to the mattress, pulling his chair to sit in front of Tiago.

Tiago stayed, staring into Craig’s eyes as the pain started to drop off. He didn’t know what Madam Pomfrey was doing. He didn’t care. Craig was tapping on his hand, a little breathing routine they’d worked out together. And as breathing became less painful, it got easier.

In. Two. Three. Four.

Hold. Two. Three. Four.

Out. Two. Three. Four.

Again. And again. And again.

“The general damage is gone.”

Tiago looked up.

“I’d recommend pain potions for a day or so, as the magic doesn’t cover everything. But you’re going to be fine.”

“Do you need to know who did it?”

“Do you know?”

“No.”

“Then no one is going to ask you and someone will find out. You might have to answer a couple of questions, but no one is going to ask for that now.”

Tiago nodded, pulling himself further onto the bed and lying down. He closed his eyes, reaching out for Craig’s hand again. Craig rubbed his fingers over Tiago’s knuckles, reaching something fairly rhythmic.

Tiago didn’t want to talk. He didn’t even want to move. He just wanted to sleep. Here. Or in the dormitory. Or somewhere where his nightmares wouldn’t bother him. Not that such a place existed.

Maybe it was a weakness that he couldn’t fight back or accept help or be a generally unflawed human. In all the muggle books, it had always been a weakness. It would explain the attack. Or maybe he didn’t need to explain that away. Maybe he could just close his eyes and sleep and hope it didn’t make its way into his dreams as every other instance had.

“I want to sleep,” he muttered, breathing in.

“Then sleep. I’ll stay here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think that's the most graphically violent chapter done. So that's an upside I guess. It doesn't really go up from here though.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273  
> she/they
> 
> Fuck JKR  
> BLM


	6. There Are Still Good People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: panic attacks, nightmares, minor bullying

Albus became more cautious after the attack on Tiago. Everyone around him seemed to do the same. James would walk them to their classes, wherever in the school that happened to be (Albus and Scorpius started leaving early so that he wasn’t late to his lessons), and Scorpius said he was also behaving similarly at breakfast. Albus still didn’t make that trip.

He didn’t mind the overbearing actions around him. It did make him feel safer, like he didn’t always have to check over his shoulder as he walked, because he had an extra pair of eyes.

Nothing else really happened as they drew closer to half-term. Albus couldn’t help but be slightly apprehensive about going back to a full school timetable, but he also had hitched himself on the idea that, for some reason, if he could make it to mealtimes, he could do the full timetable.

The only flaw in this plan was that Albus had not attended breakfast since the previous year. He and Scorpius had evolved into the routine of Scorpius heading to the Great Hall early in the morning and bringing back food for them both. He would ignore all of Albus’ mutterings about feeling bad, insisting there was nothing wrong with it.

Albus found it easier to cope with school once the homework had returned, strangely enough. It was manageable and it gave his evenings some much-needed structure.

Scorpius seemed to have coped entirely with returning to normal. He had panic attacks several times a week, but he would always catch up with the work and always be on top of life. He relied on Albus, but Albus also relied on Scorpius. Beyond that, Albus didn’t understand how Scorpius had reached this point of apparent coping. He hoped Scorpius wasn’t hiding things from him because he wanted Scorpius to be able to trust him.

Albus couldn’t imagine that Scorpius would have anyone else to confide in within the school. Quite possibly, he might be talking to Lily, but Albus knew that Scorpius was aware Lily had her own issues to fight. He wouldn’t talk if he thought it was a burden.

Twice now, Scorpius’ panic attacks had been bad enough to warrant Calming Draughts. He had insisted, afterwards, that he was fine and it wouldn’t become a regular occurrence. Albus hoped as much and tried not to push the matter. Pushing made things worse.

The pair continued working through attempt two of their fourth year. They made it to half term with reasonable success and then school kicked back into full swing. The knowledge that the return plan had worked became apparent immediately. None of it felt like a bigger leap than anything that had come before.

Albus still wasn’t going down for breakfast, but the system they had seemed to be working so that wasn’t too big of a deal. The full amount of homework was the only major step and it wasn’t too difficult. So, apart from the sleepless nights and the renewed worries about the attack on Tiago, everything seemed okay.

Even Albus’ started to reduce in frequency, though they did get worse. As if they were more concentrated. Most of them centred about Scorpius in various types of danger and Albus would while away the rest of the nights considering if his feelings for Scorpius still existed in the same intensity as they had done.

He attempted to insist to himself that they weren’t. They had existed in the past. But that didn’t matter when he didn’t have the energy to maintain a relationship. And the feelings had faded over the summer. Not that he didn’t love him, but that initial excited pull was gone.

But maybe the nightmares meant something more. Maybe he did love Scorpius _in that way_ again and it didn’t mean they had to enter a relationship. But those feelings could still exist. Maybe now that he was starting to recover in some sense of the world, his mind had started to let a little of the emotion back in.

None of that actually mattered. Scorpius had been fairly eager at the thought of their relationship ending. Or understanding. Albus couldn’t be sure which and the idea of approaching the topic was mildly terrifying.

It was easier to repress and think about the feelings until he was sure what it all mean. Until then, he could shut it all out and get through school.

* * *

_Albus is aware that he isn’t in control of his limbs. He’s walking around, but he doesn’t want to. But the voice instructing him is impossible to block out and difficult to ignore. It’s so soft and calm and easy to obey. It hurts when he doesn’t._

_So he walks around the room without walls. It is a room though. He knows that._

_He keeps walking, only opening his eyes when he knows he has reached his destination. A woman stands with a boy. The woman is good. She tells him that. She is the voice._

_The boys she is holding still is bad. He is evil. He should be punished. He needs to ignore the strange emotional connection because he doesn’t understand it. He needs to hurt this boy._

_It’s wrong. It might be wrong. Everything he is thinking could be wrong. The voice is wrong. But not obeying the voice will hurt more than punishing the evil boy. ‘Evil’ boy.  
_

_“Well, Albus?” the woman smiles. “Are you ready?”_

_Albus wants to be reluctant, but he cannot control his actions. He nods, pulling out a knife that he didn’t know was in his pocket. He walks closer again and the woman shoves the boy towards him._

_Albus recognises him now. His blond hair. His ghostly-pale skin. The pleading in his eyes._

_But he can’t do anything as he starts to raise the knife above his head. No. No. He can’t do this. He can’t do this._

_He can’t hurt–_

“Scorpius!”

The scream escaped Albus’ lips as he bolted upright, sweat dripping from his forehead as he tried to place where he was. Bed. He was in bed. In his bed at Hogwarts. Not with the woman – with her.

He looked over at Scorpius’ bed, relaxing as he saw Scorpius, facing away from him, but still peacefully asleep. Albus stood up, making his was to the bathroom and splashing some water on his face. Nightmares always made him feel somehow unhuman. The water seemed to do something.

He didn’t want to think about the nightmare. It had been a long time since he had bothered recounting his dreams. It never helped. It made it all worse. He could visualise a blank sheet of parchment and see things appearing on it.

Albus started to count his breathing. He’d be able to go back to sleep in a bit. He could eat a bit in the morning. He could carry on as if nothing had happened.

This hadn’t been the worst nightmare. Nothing had really happened. It hadn’t been nearly as bad as most of the things he had dreamt. All of that was entirely down to luck and because of when he had woken up. But it didn’t change that he would probably be okay for the rest of the night.

Albus turned off the tap, making his way back to the dormitory and starting to settle on the bed. He couldn’t lie down and relax just yet. Something was different. Something in the air or in sound. Scorpius’ hangings were closed. And someone was crying. Scorpius was crying.

Albus dived towards Scorpius’ bed, ripping open the hangings to find him rocking back and forth, shaking violently. Albus sat in front of him, closing the hangings again. Between the breaths, Scorpius kept muttering and Albus could make out his own name a few times. And the Augurey.

“Scorpius,” Albus murmured. “Scorpius. I’m here.”

Scorpius didn’t respond.

“Scorpius, I’m right here. Whatever’s happened, I’m right here.”

“–screaming.”

Albus started to hum to himself, using the sound to centre himself and concentrate on what to do next. Scorpius needed a Calming Draught, but he couldn’t leave Scorpius and there was nothing in the dormitory. He could try and ground Scorpius in some way, but Albus couldn’t think of something that would do it easily when Scorpius was sat directly in front of him in this state.

He kept getting increasingly agitated, and Albus just found himself watching, thinking about the Calming Draught but never actually doing anything. Albus had screamed loudly. Scorpius had heard. And now they were here because Albus hadn’t checked on Scorpius.

Albus opened the hangings again as he heard movement from across the room, trying not to jump at the person approaching. The boy kept looking between the two of them, apparently concerned. Albus didn’t want to trust that this boy was a good person, but he could no longer afford to be picky.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Can you go the Hospital Wing?” Albus blurted, keeping half an eye on Scorpius.

“What?”

“Can you go to the Hospital Wing, find Madam Pomfrey, and tell her that Scorpius Malfoy needs a Calming Draught?”

“Scorpius needs a Calming Draught,” the boy nodded.

“If anyone stops you, tell them that. They’ll believe you.”

The boy nodded again and Albus turned to face Scorpius as the boy half-ran out the room. Albus didn’t understand what miracle had taken place for someone to wake up and be willing to help them.

“Scorpius,” Albus whispered. “Scorpius, can we try and go to the Common Room?”

Scorpius nodded his head slightly and Albus stood, taking his hands before helping him to his feet and wrapping an arm around his torso. Scorpius leaned into him and they took a few small steps forward.

Slowly, very slowly, they managed to edge their way through to the Common Room. Albus helped Scorpius settle against an armchair, a few feet from the near-dead fire.

Albus didn’t know how long they waited. When he had started to calm down a bit, he started murmuring sections of a book to Scorpius. He didn’t know how he remembered the next word, but he just kept talking and Scorpius seemed to fall into a rhythm. By no means was he calm, but he had regained a bit of control. Things were regular.

Eventually, the Common Room door opened again and Madam Pomfrey hurried in, followed by the boy. She opened a bottle upon kneeling down beside Scorpius. Albus took it, helping Scorpius to drink the dose. They’d done this too many times, but it worked.

Scorpius stopped rocking first, leaning into Albus’ chest. Albus didn’t move quickly, for fear of upsetting Scorpius further, but Scorpius didn’t seem to mind as he wrapped his arms around him. His breathing started to slow after that and it was only two or three more minutes before he opened his eyes.

He looked around, not letting go of Albus. Albus tried to offer a small smile. He didn’t return it and Albus couldn’t blame him. He looked exhausted.

“What – what happened?”

“You had a panic attack,” Albus murmured. “How are you feeling?”

“You screamed…you were screaming.”

“I had a nightmare. Nothing new, and I’m fine. I’m sorry I didn’t check on you.”

“…not your fault…”

“I think it would be best if you went back to bed, Scorpius,” Madam Pomfrey said. “Albus, if you could…”

Albus nodded. “Absolutely.”

He wrapped his arm around Scorpius again, helping him to his feet. Scorpius fell into him, but moved and they walked through the Common Room and into the dormitory. Albus helped Scorpius lie down, perching on the edge of the bed as Scorpius continued to cling to his hand.

“Please don’t go.”

“I won’t. I’m staying right here.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay.”

He smiled at Scorpius as Scorpius’ eyes drifted closed, his breathing finally steadying. It would be a while before he could properly drift off to sleep, so Albus stayed until he could be sure that had happened. After that, he could set up a bed on the floor next to Scorpius and sleep there. Or try to.

He glanced up a few minutes later when the dormitory door opened again and the boy came in, looking at them. He sat down on his bed, still watching Scorpius with an air of concern.

“Thank you,” Albus said quietly, “for helping. I’m sorry I forgot the silencing charm.”

“Do you normally put one up?”

“I don’t want to disturb anyone and it hasn’t been that bad before so…”

“People won’t mind being woken up,” the boy said. “The people in here. Even if they hated you, if they saw something like that, they’d help.”

Albus didn’t say anything. He didn’t believe that. He didn’t have any faith in the people around him, even if these people hadn’t been responsible for the hurt caused. Although maybe that meant Albus needed to trust them more. He needed to rely on someone else, because how would they survive the year otherwise?

“What’s your name?”

“Rory.”

“Thank you for helping, Rory.”

“I should get back to sleep.”

“Yeah, of course. Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I was just thinking, if you guys wanted, you’re welcome to sit with me and my friends at breakfast. You seem to be alone a lot.”

“We don’t really do breakfast,” Albus mumbled, “but thank you. I appreciate it.”

Rory nodded again, climbing into bed and pulling his hangings shut. Scorpius had now fallen asleep properly and Albus knew he should attempt something similar, but he didn’t want to. The cold sweat that he had tried to wash away was starting to creep up the back of his neck. Something felt wrong.

Something always felt wrong.

* * *

Albus did end up sleeping again, curling up at the foot of Scorpius’ bed. He woke a little after daybreak, having to walk off a cramp that had developed in his leg before pulling on his school uniform. He needed to splash some more water on his face but he didn’t want to leave the room while Scorpius was still asleep.

After about an hour, everyone else started to stir and Rory smiled at him. He returned it. It felt strange to be welcomed, in any capacity, by another human being in this place. Even his own family had always been wary of him, prior to the disappearance. The rest of the school hadn’t changed much since then, but maybe that started here.

Scorpius woke up a few minutes later, more significantly slower than normal. He sat up, his eyes landing on Albus.

“How are you feeling?” Albus murmured.

“I’m – I’m okay,” Scorpius said. “What time is it?”

“About half seven.”

“Do you want me to go and get some food?”

“No,” Albus shook his head. “No. Take your time with getting ready. Please.”

“When are you going to eat, though?”

“I was thinking I might come down with you?”

Scorpius looked at him, before breaking into a smile. Albus smiled back. This wouldn’t be easy – he knew that – but it had to happen. He could be brave, especially now that he had an extra layer of security.

“Okay,” Scorpius nodded. “Give me a few minutes to get ready.”

“Take your time,” Albus stood. “I’m not ready either.”

The two of them left the dormitory about ten minutes later, walking through the Common Room and out into the corridor. Albus didn’t object when Scorpius took his hand. If anything, he needed the reassurance.

Albus was surprised by the lack of people on the walk up to the Great Hall. It probably just meant that most people were there already and Albus had second thoughts multiple times. He ignored them. This was a step in the right direction and Scorpius and his family were present. It would all be entirely okay.

Albus scanned the Slytherin Table upon entering the Great Hall, looking for Rory. He caught his gaze and smiled, despite the nerves. He pointed out the group to Scorpius and then headed towards them. Brave. He could be brave.

“Who are we siting with?” Scorpius hissed in his ear.

“Someone called Rory. He helped last night and said we could sit with him if we wanted to. I thought – I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea.”

“It is a good idea. We’ve had a second chance with this new year group. Making friends is a good idea.”

Albus nodded, returning Rory’s smile as they stopped at the table.

“You decided to come up?”

“If it’s still okay to sit here?”

“Of course. Yeah. Guys. Move up. Albus and Scorpius are sitting with us.”

Rory’s friends obliged and Albus and Scorpius squeezed into the seats together. Albus tried to smile at Rory’s friends and, strangely enough, they returned the expression.

“Thank you, again,” Albus said. “For last night and for this.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Albus reached for the tea and coffee as Scorpius got the food he normally brought to the dormitory. He put some of it on Albus’ plate and Albus poured them both mugs of warm drinks.

When Albus started to eat, he did so slowly. One bite at a time. He felt sick, but that was a common occurrence now. He still had to eat, so he did. Scorpius would eat if he ate. He would eat if Scorpius ate. They were responsible for each other in this thing.

A few minutes into eating, someone tapped Albus on the shoulder and he turned to see James stood behind him. He smiled, this fading as he realised that James looked like he was about to cry.

“James?” Albus stood. “Has something happened?”

“I need to talk to you,” James said. “Both of you. In private.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Not here. I’ll explain outside.”

Albus stepped out into the space between the tables, taking Scorpius’ hand as he stood up. They followed James out through the masses of people, heading for the Entrance Hall. Albus’ heart had started to pound out of his chest. 

“Malfoy!”

Ignore them,” James muttered.

“Hey, Malfoy! You happy to see your sister again?”

“What is he talking about?” Albus hissed. “James, what is he talking about?”

“Just keep walking.”

“James, is this about – about her?”

“I’ll explain. Just keep walking.”

Albus held his breath until they reached the Entrance Hall. He couldn’t let himself panic. He couldn’t let his mind run until he was in some sort of safe place. He held onto Scorpius’ hand more tightly, their palms starting to slip over one another.

James led them to an empty classroom, closing the door and looking between them both. He’d actually started to cry. At this point, Albus could no longer convince himself that anything was remotely okay.

“I’m sorry,” James murmured. 

“She escaped,” Scorpius said. “Delphi escaped from Azkaban, didn’t she?”

“According to the Prophet,” James nodded. “She – I mean – I don’t know what the Ministry are doing. They’ll say something. We will be okay. I just thought you should know before someone did – that.”

Albus sat down. If his heart been pounding out of his chest before, now it was moving multiple feet away. Delphi had escaped. She would come back. She would come back for them. The last time he had seen her, she had nearly killed him. What on earth was going to happen now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, folks. The main event. It only gets worse from here.
> 
> Thanks for reading.  
> Kudos and comments appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Fuck JKR  
> Black Lives Matter


	7. The Angel That Loves Him Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: explosions, mentions of post/current trauma

It took Delphi two weeks to make a proper reappearance. Albus, Scorpius, Tiago, Craig, Lily and James had not left the castle during that time. For the first three days, Albus and Scorpius hadn’t even made it down to Herbology. They only went outside when absolutely necessary, not that that came around much in early December.

Albus’ nightmares got worse again. Scorpius carried Calming Draughts with him at all times. Tiago and Craig never seemed to be anywhere other than each other’s side.

The three of them got stares, questions, more rumours, but Albus found those the easiest to ignore. Half the time, they just allowed him to centre himself again and remind himself of the facts.

When the attack started, Albus wasn’t surprised. He had been waiting for something to happen and the sudden shouts erupting through the castle about how the castle defences had disintegrated were no surprise. And neither were the immediate ensuing explosions.

He, Scorpius, Tiago and Craig were stood outside the library when it happened. Albus grabbed Scorpius’ hand, Craig grabbed Tiago’s, and they ran. Most people were trying to work out what was going on and Albus did his best to spread some sort of message as they ran. People were going to get hurt unless they hid. People were going to get hurt.

No one had seen any trace of Delphi for two weeks. She could have an army large enough to tear the school apart, brick by brick, by now.

But if they made it to the Common Room, their underground Common Room, they stood a chance. They could hide. They could be safe. Delphi couldn’t get in and there were plenty of places to hide. They could fight back. This time, they had wands. They could use that.

Or Albus hoped as much.

* * *

Lily had bad priorities. When the attack started, she didn’t look for someone. She didn’t try to get back to the Common Room, though she told her friends to do that. Instead, she started to look for Albus and James. She ran towards the danger.

Down corridor after corridor after corridor until she couldn’t breathe. People were running. People were screaming. Things were exploding overhead, raining rubble. People were going to get badly hurt soon if they hadn’t already.

She first heard her name as she reached the Owlery corridor. She turned to see James about thirty feet away and he started to run towards her.

“What are you doing here?” he panted. “Go to the Common Room.”

“I was looking for you. And Albus…have you seen Albus?”

“He’ll be safe. He’s got good instincts. We need to hide.”

“What about you?”

“I was looking for you. Come on.”

James grabbed Lily’s hand and they started to run again. They were mercifully close to the Gryffindor tower, so they didn’t have to attempt too many staircases, but there was still a dangerous amount of slipping and sliding.

Explosions kept echoing from below. And shouts. Aurors. People fighting back. They didn’t see any people in their running, most people having found somewhere to hide. Lily could only hope the same for Albus and Scorpius.

She stumbled, letting out torrent of swearing as her ankle twisted. James came to catch her but she shook her head, pushing him to keep going. He couldn’t slow down. He had to get to safety.

“Go!” she shouted. “James, just go!”

James shook his head, turning and stepping back towards her, and Lily screamed as the wall behind him exploded. He was thrown across the corridor, slamming into the opposite wall. She limped across to him, bile rising in her throat as she saw the blood trickling from his temple. His eyes were half-closed but he raised his hand a little towards Lily.

“Go,” he croaked. “Lily, hide…please…please hide…”

“No,” Lily started to pull off her robe with the intent of making some sort of bandage. “No. I’m staying here.”

“Lily!”

"James.”

Lily wasn’t moving. Whatever happened, she would stay with James. He was her brother and their attacker had the worth track record in history. Together, at least, they stood a chance.

Maybe they would still make it back. Maybe they would be found by an Auror before an attacker. But Lily didn’t intend to leave James’ side, no matter the consequences.

* * *

Despite being some of the last students in, it became apparent quite quickly that they were among the oldest there. While Albus and Tiago were quiet, sitting in the corner and trying to rationalise with their thoughts, Scorpius and Craig tried to instil some level of organisation.

Craig seemed to come into own, his introverted demeanour going out of the window as he wandered from group to group, calming them down. Albus could see why he had been made a prefect.

A few more people came into the Common Room, but after about half an hour of no one, a few people dragged a sofa across the doorway, weighing it down with whatever they could find. Scorpius drew the line at someone suggesting they sit on it, pointing out that they would be injured if the door got blown open.

Albus didn’t calm down. He kept trying, pacing his breathing and reciting little things to himself and grounding techniques and nothing that helped, until he settled with simply watching Scorpius checking on different groups. A few were injured – nothing serious – but Scorpius still found plasters and bandages.

Watching Scorpius, thinking about him, seemed to calm Albus more than he would ever have anticipated. That made sense, given that his feelings for Scorpius had never really disappeared. Scorpius remained the centre of his universe. Albus would always love him. But he didn’t say.

Not because of nerves or because he didn’t think Scorpius would still have feelings for him (though that was a possibility). But that didn’t matter to Albus when he still understood he had no capacity to maintain a relationship. He wasn’t ready to try that step again.

Putting any sort of label on whatever their relationship was felt dangerous. It might not mean much to them, but to the rest of the world, it was another statement that the two of them could make. There was something a little more close about thinking that his boyfriend was in mortal danger, as opposed to his friend.

Even though he knew the labels didn’t make any actual difference to him.

He still doubted he’d be able to cope.

But then again, he couldn’t cope with much. Taking a risk and taking a leap had the capacity to change that. A big leap. A promise to himself that he could try. Maybe he would feel ready after he had done it.

Albus stood, murmuring something to Tiago about going to the dormitory. No one had gone in there yet so, when Albus arrived, he sunk down at the foot of his bed, wrapping his arms around himself.

The world grew quiet.

The walls were too thick to hear what was going on outside the Slytherin section of the Castle. They didn’t know if the attack had stopped or if anyone was coming to help them. Albus wanted to assume help was coming because assuming that implied that he was hopeful.

The minutes had started to pass. The door opened again after a while and Albus glanced up too see Scorpius closing it as quietly as he could manage. He sat down and Albus leant his head on his shoulder, his eyes drifting closed. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

Albus hadn’t slept the previous night. He’d spent much of it in the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face and trying to keep the nightmares at bay. Everything had returned tenfold since Delphi’s escape.

“Sleep,” Scorpius said, “if you want to. I’ll stay here.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you feel safe enough, I would. This might get worse so who knows when you’ll next get the chance.”

Albus nodded, curling up against Scorpius and allowing his body to get used to the new position. A few shivers ran through his body, but he was safe and he could be sure of that. Scorpius would keep him safe.

* * *

Scorpius had fallen asleep next to Albus by the time he woke up. Albus stayed still, not wanting to disturb Scorpius. Merlin knows that Scorpius needed the rest, and Scorpius hadn’t been wrong when he had said that it might be their last sleep for a while.

Albus’ mind started to wander to fears about Lily and James, and about whether or not they had made it back to their Common Room or somewhere else safe. They were both sensible, and they were more aware of the risks than most, so the chances were that they were safe, as would the rest of the Weasley-Potter can. Despite the chaos and idiocy that seemed to run in the family, they all did the right thing when it came down to it. They would all stay safe.

Depending on how long Albus had slept, he realised that it might now be safe to leave and find someone else. He would go, with any older students who volunteered. In no circumstance were they sending a child into a potential battleground.

Albus jumped as Scorpius started to stir beside him, groaning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. A moment later, he looked at Albus, still blinking slowly. 

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” Albus nodded. “How are you feeling?”

“My brain feels like it should cut off to prevent an overload, but it just won’t. You?”

“In honesty? I don’t know,” Albus paused, glancing upwards. “What if this is it?”

“Hm?”

“What if this is what our lives are going to be from now on?”

“This won’t happen again. The Ministry won’t let it.”

“They tried not to let it happen here. It still did. What if they catch her and then she gets out again. And again. And again. And again.”

Scorpius didn’t reply and Albus squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to cry but he was well on his way to doing so. He hadn’t seen his siblings since the day before. He didn’t know if they were safe. He didn’t know if they would ever be safe.

“We have to keep going,” Scorpius said quietly. “We can’t stop our entire lives. If we do that, she will keep coming back. If we don’t pay it attention, then maybe it’ll fade?”

“Is that even possible?”

“Maybe not. But it’s worth a try. Even if it is hard.”

“Really hard.”

Albus paused, a sudden instinct to say something that caught in his throat. This wasn’t a good time for this conversation, but he didn’t care, for some reason.

“Scorpius,” he started slowly, his words coming out in a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I know – in the hospital – I know I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and you said we could put it on hold and everything…”

“Albus?”

“I don’t think I’m ever going to be ready. In all honestly, I doubt I’ll ever be ready for – us.”

“That – that’s okay, Albus. I understand.”

“But, at the same time, I – I don’t think I’ll ever let myself be ready. I’m so scared that I might lose you again. I know that wouldn’t change if we were together or not or whatever. I just – I don’t know how to describe it.”

“I get it,” Scorpius nodded. “Honestly, Albus. It’s okay.”

“I want to be with you again,” Albus blurted, shrinking back as the words erupted from his mouth. “I know I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. But I want to try again. If you were happy to. If you wanted to.”

“You want to be a couple again?”

Albus glanced down. The answer was yes, but he didn’t know how to say it aloud. 

“Well,” he mumbled, “we never did get our first date…”

Scorpius laughed, taking Albus’ hand. Albus intertwined their fingers, leaning his head on Scorpius’ shoulder.

“When this is over,” Scorpius whispered, “and it will be soon, when it’s safe, we can have that date. About a year overdue but it’s better late than never.”

Albus nodded, breathing out slowly. Some of the tension in his shoulders had lifted. Just some of it, but that was still something.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, Albus allowing his breathing to sync with Scorpius. Scorpius seemed to be able to maintain something steady. And the world grew quiet again. It passed and passed and passed. The time slipping away could have been minutes or hours. Albus didn’t know and he didn’t want to care. He wanted to stop thinking, just for a second.

He turned to look at Scorpius, hesitating for a moment before pecking him on the cheek. Scorpius looked back at him and, half a moment of silent communication later, they both leant forward, lips meeting in the middle.

The feeling that followed was so utterly unfamiliar that Albus didn’t understand how he relaxed into the movement. Scorpius started to move his hand through Albus’ hair, pulling him closer, and Albus’ heart started to pound.

This, this feeling of stars and ecstasy, seemed to complete him. For the first time in a very long time, Albus had some sort of home. Not scared. Not sad. Just grateful to be with Scorpius, to be a part of Scorpius. To have Scorpius be a part of him.

“I’ve missed that,” Scorpius murmured as they broke apart. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Scorpius smiled. “And I would love to stay here, but we should probably go back to the Common Room. People might worry if we’re gone too long.”

Albus nodded, though he then curled up against Scorpius again. Scorpius laughed, running a hand over Albus’ head.

“But seriously, we should go.”

Albus groaned, but he nodded again, standing and stretching his limbs. Everything had cramped up and clicked a number of times as Scorpius stood up and took his hand.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered. “It’s all going to be entirely okay.”

They opened the door, stepping out of the dormitory when Craig came running around the corner, stumbling.

“Albus. Albus, there’s a letter for you.”

“What?”

“A letter. It just appeared in the centre of the floor. With a parcel.”

Albus glanced at Scorpius and Scorpius nodded, squeezing Albus’ hand. Albus tried to remind himself to breathe, turning back to Craig.

“Get everyone else into the dormitories,” he said. “Don’t let anyone out until we know what’s going on.”

Craig nodded, taking off back down the corridor.

“Is opening it a good idea?” Scorpius asked. “It’s from her.”

“She wouldn’t want to hurt us here unless she came in person. She wants the spectacle. It’s probably not dangerous – I just don’t want to risk.” He paused. “So, so can you wait here?”

“No. No way. I’m coming with you. I don’t care what’s inside. You’re not opening it alone because I know how rash you are.”

Albus laughed a little before pulling Scorpius into a hug. Scorpius wrapped his arms around him, giving Albus a moment to steady his breathing before they walked towards the Common Room. The younger students were filing out, all talking. Some looked bored. Most looked tired.

A few had bandages over what Albus assumed were wounds from the attack. He tried to breathe through the rising nausea. The monster had no conscience, no mercy. She would hurt innocent children to reach her goal. The goal that didn’t even seem to make sense anymore. Albus still had very little idea of what Delphi actually wanted. He couldn’t help but feel she was doing all this for the sake of it.

Albus pushed the door open as the Common Room finished emptying, walking towards the package. It was sat in the centre of the floor, a few feet from the fireplace. Albus picked up the letter.

This could get him killed. This could get them all killed. But they had to move forward.

Albus opened it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the boys are back together and we're going to ignore the complete crisis that they're about to enter. But here ends the slow burn. Maybe.  
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck JKR


	8. What Happens For the Greater Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: torture, separation

The first line of the letter contained three words. No greeting, malicious or other. Just three simple words.

_Open the parcel._

Albus glanced at Scorpius before taking the parcel as instructed. It was light, one major weight in the middle. It didn’t suggest danger, especially as the brown paper started to disintegrate between his fingers. Albus sunk down onto th carpet, placing the open letter beside him.

The paper came away, two objects landing with quiet thuds on the carpet. It took Albus a moment to clock what he was looking at, but when he did, he retched, turning away.

Scorpius appeared by his side but Albus refused the offer of a hug. He turned back, slightly more prepared for the sight in front of him. Two objects sat on the carpet. A long bunch of plaited hair, brown and soft and too familiar. Lily’s hair. One of Lily’s plaits. And beside it, the necklace James had received for his birthday.

James and Lily. Two things. To prove who they were. To prove who had them.

A small part of Albus’ mind told him to think rationally. The things could have been fake. They could have been someone else’s. But that wasn’t a risk Albus was willing to take. Delphi knew that. That’s why she had done this. They both knew exactly what Albus would do.

Albus looked at the things again, shaking his hand a couple of times. Lily’s hair was always done in these sorts of bunches, ever since she had been little. There had been a period of time when she had had to teach herself to do them, after starting school, but they now looked as good as they always had done.

By halfway through the first year, she had started to try different styles and now she seemed to have something different every day. The braid Albus had in his hands was the simplest thing she wore. Just a plaited pigtail. Except it lay in his hands while his sister might have been on the other side of the world.

The necklace was even easier to verify. Albus turned it over, running his thumb over the dent on the back and opening the catch. His stomach sank further as he saw the photo set in the tiny frame.

The photo encompassed the entire family on Albus’ first day out of Hospital. It was them, home again. In the lounge. Just being a family. Albus couldn’t remember who had taken the photo. No one seemed aware it had happened.

Albus had asked James why he had chosen this photo. James had told him, plain and simple, that it was the need to not forget. He had said that he wanted to be happy, but he couldn’t just ignore the past. He’d followed it up with another hug.

The things were genuine. Lily and James hadn’t escaped the attack. They had been caught up in it and now Delphi had them. Now Delphi had the power to kill them.

Albus clenched his hand, digging his nails into his palm. He couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t think about the pain his siblings were probably in. He couldn’t think about what might happen if he put a foot wrong.

“Albus?”

“I’ll kill her,” Albus ground out. “I swear to Merlin, I’ll kill her.”

“Is that–”

“She’s got Lily and James. She – fuck knows what she’s going to do.”

He picked up the letter, unfolding it and trying to stop himself shaking for long enough to focus on the swirly handwriting. He had to remain calm, not do anything stupid.

_Darling Albus,_

_I’m assuming you know what my little gift was about. So I don’t really need to threaten anyone in here. You know how this works._

_At the bottom of this letter is some Floo Powder that will bring you to me. Use it and the attack will stop._

_This is between yourself and me. And whomever else I want to involve. I would suggest that you do what I’m asking and, if you do need any reminders as to why, take a look at your back. I know you’ve still got those scars._

_I look forward to seeing you._

_Delphi._

Albus put the letter down again, swallowing. Delphi knew how to get under his skin. She didn’t need to make any threats. She didn’t need to turn up with torture devices. He knew what she could do and he’d be damned if he let that happen to anyone else.

He glanced to the bottom of the letter, taking the package of Floo Powder and starting to empty it into his hand.

“You’re not going alone,” Scorpius caught his arm as he stood up.

“It says just me.”

“I don’t care. I’m not letting you go on your own.”

“Scorpius–”

“This isn’t up for debate, Albus. I’m coming with you.”

Albus wanted to object but he knew he couldn’t stop Scorpius. There wasn’t time to try and convince him otherwise. They just had to leave. He nodded, taking Scorpius’ hand and hurrying to the Common Room door. He opened it to find Tiago and Craig stood on the other side.

“We’re going to find Delphi,” Albus explained. “As soon as we’re gone, the attack will end. Get everyone out. If people are hiding anywhere, they’ll be in the Great Hall.”

“What are you going to do?” Tiago asked. “Albus, please don’t tell me you’re stupid enough to go in without a plan.”

“We can’t plan this. She’s got Lily and James. We’ve just got to go.”

“Good luck.”

Albus nodded. “Stay safe.”

He closed the door again, looking at Scorpius one more time. Scorpius nodded and they walked to the fireplace. The fire had almost burnt out – though that didn’t really indicate the time of day – and Albus stepped into the embers, moving to make room for Scorpius.

“Whatever happens,” Scorpius murmured, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Albus murmured back, opening his fist and letting the powder fall into the ashes.

* * *

Lily kept running her hand over the side of her hand. It still came as a shock every time she was met with the cropped fuzz. She glanced at James, who was just sat, staring forwards. His hands were shaking but he had moved away when she had tried to be near him.

She knew what was going on his head. She knew the terror, the knowledge that Albus would come soon, probably with Scorpius. They were all going to get hurt. More hurt than they already were.

The wound on James’ head had clotted and the blood had started to form a scab. It still looked grim. When the two of them had woken up here, the wound hadn’t been that bad. And then everything had gotten worse.

Lily hoped that they weren’t in the same place Albus, Scorpius and Tiago had been held. She needed to have some other explanation for the bloodstain on the floor. Just something that proved it wasn’t Albus’ blood.

And now they were just waiting. Watching Delphi and waiting. She sat a few feet away, occasionally letting sparks fly from her fingers. Not a direct threat, but all enough to remind them who had control.

Lily wrapped her arms around herself, trying not to let her tears fall. She had to be strong and remember they would be okay. They would all be okay. She had to stay strong for a little bit longer.

This was wrong. This was all wrong. They were children. They were still children. How had they ended up here?

Everyone had spent over twenty years celebrating how the war was over, but it had never really ended. Everyone carried on with their private fights, battles they would never truly win, and just because they were Potters, just because they happened to be the children of Harry Potter, Lily and her brothers had been dragged into it all.

She had never resented being a Potter before. She couldn’t help it now.

She looked up as the fireplace at the other end of the hall started to rattle, spitting out Albus and Scorpius a few moments later. They slid a few feet, before leaping to their feet and stopping short at the sight of Lily and James.

Lily started to move towards them, but James caught hr arm, stopping her in his first movements in hours. Lily didn’t fight him, watching Delphi stand and approach Albus and Scorpius, a grin fixed on her face. She snapped her fingers, pocketing their wands when they appeared in her hand.

"It’s nice to see you,” she simpered, “though I wasn’t expecting – him.”

“I wasn’t going to leave Albus to face you alone,” Scorpius sounded strangely calm.

“Evidently not. Well, it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m here now,” Albus said quietly. “Let Lily and James go.”

“That wasn’t the plan I had in mind,” Delphi started to walk back across the hall. “No, I’m not done with either of them just yet.”

She stopped in front of Lily, reaching out to stroke the side of her face. James batted her away with a glower.

“Don’t touch her,” he snapped.

Delphi turned her attention to him. Lily kept her mouth shut against her best instinct, watching Delphi slide her hand underneath James’ chin. She giggled, glancing back at Albus.

“So, Albus. Who did you come to save?”

“What do you mean?”

Delphi straightened up. “I knew you’d come. I was just interested in who you came for.”

“Both of them. They’re my siblings.”

“Interesting,” Delphi glanced between them, “very interesting.”

Silence fell as she snapped her fingers and ropes appeared around James’ wrists. He didn’t fight as he was pulled to his feet and across the floor. Lily started to follow but ropes appeared around her own wrists, dragging her back to the floor.

Lily watched in horror as James stumbled to a halt beside Delphi. She pushed him to his knees and Albus tensed, his lack of breathing all too visible. Lily didn’t think she was either but she couldn’t really tell.

“I’m surprised, Albus,” Delphi said conversationally.

“That I came back?”

“That you came for him,” Delphi indicated James. “He doesn’t seem worth it.”

Albus looked at her, an expression of bewilderment crossing his face for half a second before he centred himself.

“He’s my brother. I care about him.”

“No, you don’t. You hate him.”

Silence.

“You’ve always hated him. Especially when you started Hogwarts.”

"What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything.”

“He’s my brother. I love him. What happened in the past doesn’t matter, no matter how I felt about it.”

Delphi laughed. “You seem to be forgetting, Albus sweetie. I can get inside your head.”

“You’re not inside my head now.”

Delphi nodded, placing a hand on James’ shoulder. James didn’t move, trembling. Lily edged a little closer, as far as the ropes around her wrists would allow. 

“I guess that’s my main question, Albus.”

“It’s changed?”

Delphi rolled her eyes. “It’s changed.”

“And if you’re still not happy with my answer?”

“Why do you care? He was horrible to you.”

“He’s my brother.”

“But why have you forgiven him? Why blood over anything else?”

“That’s not what this is. It wasn’t worth fighting over. He didn’t know what was going to happen. We talked about it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You didn’t want to forgive him at first.”

“That’s not important. I have forgiven him now. He’s my brother. I love him.”

“But part of you wants to see him suffer. Admit it.”

“No.”

Delphi grinned. “You don’t want to admit it?”

“He’s my brother. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“Interesting.”

Delphi smiled again, pulling out her wand and placing it against James’ temple. Lily stiffened, unable to breathe. No. No. No. She couldn’t hurt James. She couldn’t hurt James again. Lily looked at Albus, silently begging him to do something. He was closer. He could move.

“Crucio.”

The word came out so softly, but that disappeared in an instant. James’ screams rang through the hall, echoing off every surface they found, as James himself shook and writhed at Delphi’s feet. Lily could have sworn that she was trying to scream at her to stop, but she couldn’t hear anything.

Albus kept trying to get to James. Scorpius kept holding him back. For some reason, Albus kept shouting. Shouting and screaming and pleading, but he couldn’t get closer.

The sounds just kept building. Building and building and building until they shut off and were replaced with Delphi’s giggles. Uncontrolled, twisted, evil sounds.

“You do care about him,” she squealed, crouching beside James.

James scrambled to get away from her, his hands shaking constantly. Lily tried to move towards him again, swearing as the ropes held her down.

“You do care about the boy who hurt you most.”

“He didn’t hurt me!” Albus’ voice was suddenly hoarse and full of tears. “He never hurt me. You – you hurt me most. You – you’re a monster!”

“Of course it hasn’t.”

Albus stopped talking as Delphi started to walk back towards Lily. Lily tried to move away from her. She didn’t get anywhere until the ropes disappeared and by the time they had done so, Delphi had seized her remaining plait and was dragging her across the floor.

They stopped beside James, Lily being shoved to her knees. She couldn’t get to James as Delphi was still holding her up.

“Having people in your life, Albus. That was your mistake. That’s why you’re weak.”

Silence.

“I didn’t hurt Scorpius much. You still want to react when I hurt the people you love.”

“What do you want?”

“Work it out. Make me an offer.”

Silence again. Lily tried not to flinch as Delphi crouched beside her, leaning her head on her shoulder. It would stop soon. It would all stop soon. Maybe it was all a bad dream. Maybe she had been knocked out in the attack and this was where her dreams had taken her.

Except that wasn’t how dreams worked.

Lily braced herself for the pain, braced herself for what she was well aware would be the worst sensation in the world. Delphi’s wand balanced itself on her temple. Ready. Waiting. For something. Lily closed her eyes.

And then two sounds collided over her head. The beginning of a spell. And Albus. Albus shouting.

Delphi stopped.

“What was that?”

“I’ll make you an offer,” Albus said. “You – you let them all go – without hurting anyone again.”

“In return for?”

“I’ll stay here. With you. I won’t put up a fight. I’ll do whatever you want me to. As long as you let them go without hurting them again.”

Lily shook her head, keeping her mouth shut. Albus couldn’t do this. Albus couldn’t sacrifice himself. He’d get himself killed. At least together, they stood a chance.

“You know something, Albus?” Delphi sounded as if she was smiling. “That is an offer I don’t think I can refuse.”

“NO!” Lily screamed. “No! Albus!”

“Quiet,” Delphi hissed. “Yes, Albus. I think we could work with that. As long as you are aware of the full terms?”

“Which are?”

“If you disobey, I am at full liberty to fetch them back and – use – them.”

“But you’ll let them go now?”

“Yes.”

“Then, yes. I’m aware of the full terms. Let them go. I’ll stay.”

Lily’s eyes filled with tears, he vision blurring over. Albus couldn’t do this. He couldn’t get himself into this. He’d be killed. They’d never see him again. He couldn’t do this.  
Scorpius started to speak. “Albus, you can’t–”

“Oh, do be quiet, Scorpius,” Delphi rolled her eyes. “Albus has made a brilliant decision and he is going to honour it.” She let go of Lily’s hair, letting Lily fall; Lily crawled across to James, helping him to sit up. “I’ll let you say goodbye.” Silence. “Come on. Now. Unless you don’t want it.”

These words kicked Albus and Scorpius into action. Albus hurried across to Lily, sitting down with her as she started to lose control over her sobs.

“Please,” she whispered, “please don’t go…”

Albus wrapped his arms around her, rocking back and forth as she sobbed into his shoulder. She couldn’t let go. She couldn’t let go of her big brother because he would be gone when she did.

“Listen to me, Lily,” his voice came out so quiet and raw. “You can’t stop your life again.”

“What?”

“Keep going. For me.”

“I can’t…”

“I love you. I won’t ever stop thinking about how much I love you. But you have to go home and stay out of this firing line. You’re too young to live in a warzone.”

“But you have to.”

“I’m choosing to so that you get home. All of you. So go. For me. Please.”

Lily let go of Albus slowly, looking him in the eye. He wiped a couple of her tears away and she nodded, forcing herself to breathe as Albus hugged her once more.

When he turned to Scorpius, Lily moved away, nearly stumbling into James. Scorpius was shaking and sobbing as he sank to the floor beside Albus. Albus looked at him for a moment, before placing his hands on Scorpius’ cheeks and murmuring something.

Lily glanced at Delphi, who watched them all with a small smirk. The expression brought the rage to a boil in Lily’s chest, but she didn’t move. She understood what Albus had crafted. She couldn’t ruin it now. She had to keep going like he had asked.

At least Lily could take comfort in the knowledge that they would be trying to work out how to get Albus back as soon as they got home. This gap would be temporary. It would be shorter than last time.

She looked back at Albus as he stood up. He had tears running down his face, stepping away from Scorpius. He shook his head as Scorpius started to step towards him.

“I love you,” Albus whispered, voice cracking. “I love you so, so much.”

“I’m not going,” Scorpius shook his head. “I’m not leaving you.”

“You have to.”

“Albus.”

“I’m one person. There’s someone who’s better for you. There’s someone who can love you a hundred times harder than I ever could. You don’t need me.”

“Yes. Yes, I do. Albus, please.”

“You have to leave.”

Albus stepped back again, looking at James. James moved in for a hug but Albus shook his head.

“You are the best brother,” he croaked, “that could ever have existed. I love you. None of this is your fault. You are more than I ever deserved.”

“Albus…”

“Get them home. For me.”

James nodded, a tear rolling down his cheek. He put a hand on Scorpius’ arm, murmuring something. Scorpius shook his head, shaking James’ grip off. Albus looked at the three of them one more time, before walking away. One step. Two steps. Three steps.

Lily held her breath as he turned away. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t know why how she was supposed to just walk away from her brother. But she could see Scorpius and she could se that she was the one who needed to make this easier. She looked at Delphi again, waiting as the woman walked a little closer.

“Take the Floo home,” she mutter, shoving the powder pot into Lily’s hands. “Your wands will appear in your pockets when you’re in the fireplace, but I would advise that you don’t use them against me. Oh, and you’ll have Albus’ too.”

Lily took the pot, glancing at James and backing towards the fireplace. Her limbs kept getting heavier and heavier but she didn’t let herself stop. Albus had turned away completely now, shoulders shaking.

“Come on, Scorpius,” James was saying. “We have to go.”

“No,” Scorpius shook his head. “No, I’m staying. I’m staying here.”

“Scorpius,” James stepped forward. “You need to come back with us. For Albus.”

“She’ll kill him!” Scorpius screamed. “She’ll kill him if we leave.”

“I won’t,” Delphi murmured. “I can assure you, Scorpius. Albus will be just fine.”

James took Scorpius’ arm, pulling him towards the fireplace. Lily closed her eyes and curled her fists to try and distract herself with the pain. Scorpius had started screaming. Lily couldn’t watch.

She put the pot down, grabbing a handful of the powder and stepping into the fireplace. She knew she should wait for James and Scorpius, but if she stayed a moment later, she knew she wouldn’t leave.

Albus had turned away, shoulders too tense to simply be ignoring the situation. Scorpius had started to scratch and claw at James to try and escape from him. He kept screaming. Lily threw the powder down, her sobs breaking through again as the flames carried her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the angst has ramped up, I'm going to try and finish something else but if it doesn't happen please blame anxiety.  
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Fuck TERFs  
> Black Lives Matter


	9. When People Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: family separation, depression, discussion of death, food and eating

Lily slid a little way as she arrived in the Great Hall. She stood up, stopping as she saw everyone else had started to draw their wands. The entire school seemed to have made it, the tables replaced with mats across the floor.

Lily couldn’t see who occupied any of them and she raised her hands in a surrender, considering of reaching for her wand to hand it over but thinking better of it. She didn’t know what to say that could explain any of this, but that didn’t seem to matter when he mum burst from the crowd and pulled her into a tight hug. Tears started to roll down Lily’s cheeks and she closed her eyes.

“Are you okay?” her mum whispered. “Are you hurt? What happened? Do you know where your brothers are? Or Scorpius?”

“James – James and Scorpius – they’re coming.”

“What about Albus? Do you know where he is?”

Lily started to respond when the fireplace started rattling again. A second later, James and Scorpius shot across the floor, standing immediately. Scorpius hadn’t stopped crying and James was having to pull him away from the fireplace, not letting him go as he struggled back towards the flames.

“Scorpius…”

“Let go!” Scorpius screamed at him. “Let go of me!”

“You can’t go back.”

“He’s going to die! She’ll kill him! She’ll kill him, you monster!”

“She’ll kill you both if you go back?”

Lily rushed forward as Scorpius crumpled against James, erupting into violent sobs. Draco Malfoy got there first, taking Scorpius and cradling him in his arms as Scorpius cried. Lily turned back as her mum reached them.

“What happened? Where’s Albus?”

“He stayed behind,” James came towards them, stumbling. “He made a deal with her.”

“He did what?”

“We didn’t have a choice,” James croaked. “He – he saved us.”

“Where were you?”

Lily looked up as her dad came almost charging through the crowd. He looked a mess. Lily couldn’t exactly blame him. She couldn’t blame any of them. 

“Where did she take you?”

“We…we only saw two rooms,” Lily said slowly. “There was a big hall – really big – but no windows. Blood on the floor…”

“It was the place from before,” Scorpius’ shaking voice cut through. “She was at the same place that she kept us…”

Lily’s dad nodded, glancing at her mum. A few seconds later, he took off in another direction, scanning the room for someone.

“Mum?” Lily looked at her.

“We’ll find him,” her mum murmured. “He’ll be okay.”

Lily nodded, watching her mum go to James and check his injuries. James kept insisting that he was fine but that didn’t stop their mum taking him off to find a Healer.

Lily just stood, flinching as Scorpius came up from behind her and placing a hand on her wrist. He mumbled an apology, moving back a little, but she took his hand, eyes filling with tears.

“You should get some sleep,” Lily whispered.

“I need to find out what happened to Craig and Tiago…”

“I can do that. You need to rest.”

“So do you.”

“I’m not tired.”

That was a lie. Lily was exhausted, but the idea of closing her eyes and trying to rest after what they had all witnessed brought up nausea in her stomach.

Scorpius nodded, letting go of Lily’s hand and walking back to his dad. Lily watched them curl up against a wall together and she let her tears fall. She should sleep as well, but she just wanted to find somewhere quiet to cry. Maybe Neville would let her in his office.

She turned to the beds, scanning up and down for either Tiago or Craig. Upon spotting Tiago, she hurried up between the mats and she stopped as he saw her.

“Lily. Are you okay? What happened?”

“Not important,” Lily muttered. “Are you and Craig okay? Scorpius asked but I made him go to sleep.”

“I’m okay. Craig got injured on the way up here but he’ll be okay. He’s asleep.”

“I’m here if you need me,” Lily said. “I – I hope you’re all right.”

Tiago nodded and Lily made her way to the edge of the hall, sinking down against the wall. Despite the noise and bustle and general chaos, she couldn’t help but feel alone. So much had happened, so much more than previously, and she couldn’t process any of it.

She wanted to believe that it would be okay, that her brother would come home soon and no one would be any more hurt. She knew that, if that didn’t happen, she would fall again, no matter what Albus had said. She would try, but the fall would be inevitable.

Maybe it always had been.

* * *

Albus didn’t look up until he could be sure Scorpius had gone. Saying goodbye had been hard enough. He couldn’t jeopardise anything else because he lost control of himself. When he heard the Floo leave for a second time, the hall fell silent and he opened his eyes.

Delphi stood above him, a smirk fixed on her face. She beckoned him to stand and he did so. He waited for the hood to come down over his face, but instead, she held out her hand and forced him to start walking as he took it.

He remained silent as she led him out the hall and down the corridor. Albus couldn’t help but find the whole thing surreal after so many months of being led around in the dark. He didn’t say anything, not even about that. If he did what he was told, if he obeyed every order, it would all be worth it because Scorpius and his family would be okay.

Delphi led him upstairs, opening the door to a room and gesturing for him to go in. He did so.

The room wasn’t large, but light spilled in through the one window to the point where it seemed to illuminate the dust in the air. Beneath the window sat a small single bed and beside that, a chest of drawers. Albus stared at it. After everything, he couldn’t bring himself to believe that Delphi would keep him here.

“Well?”

“What?”

“Do you like it?”

“I – it’s not what I expected,” Albus tried to choose his words carefully. “Do – do you want me to stay here?”

“I thought that was implied.”

“Yes. Sorry. Sorry.”

Delphi smirked. “Stay here. Get some sleep. There’s a bathroom in there. Spare clothes in the drawers. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Albus didn’t have the words to reply with and she turned on her heel, locking the door as she left. As soon as he could be sure he was alone, he went to the window, staring out of it.

Despite the winter, the sun was shining, casting a calmness over everything below. The castle they were in was perched on the edge of a mountain, like some sort of twisted version of Hogwarts. If Hogwarts wasn’t already twisted enough.

Albus sat down on the bed, drawing his knees up to his chest. Within seconds, the tears streamed down his face. It was over. He was going to die. Because none of it had ever really ended before.

This, whatever this was, it had been coming until this point. They couldn’t stop its motion. All he could do was move with it and shelter the people he loved. If he died because of that, he could take that.

He wouldn’t have to go alone. He knew that much. If he did die, he wouldn’t have to walk alone.

His grandparents would be there. All the people he had never gotten to meet because of the war. Scorpius’ mum. They would be there. They would all be there.

A small comfort. He had some idea of what he was walking towards. He didn’t want to die, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. And, if he died, his family would be able to move on. They wouldn’t have to devote energy to saving him if there was nothing to save.

They would be able to carry on with their lives.

Albus knew that they wouldn’t yet, even with what he had said when he’d said goodbye. But if he was gone, if there was no longer anything to hang onto, nothing tying them down, they would be able to carry on. And he would be able to watch over them, knowing that they knew how much he loved them.

They wouldn’t be alone and Albus wouldn’t have to walk alone.

So it would all be okay. Whatever happened.

* * *

When James woke the next morning, his head hadn’t stopped throbbing. The Great Hall had become near-silent, everyone from the night before now gone or still asleep.

Despite the pain, James tried to stand up, looking around for his parents. He needed to find them and find out if Albus was okay and find out how close they were to winning this fight. They could win. They would win. They just had to make it that far.

He was greeted, in his stumbling, by his mum. She led him over to a seat, ignoring claims he was okay.

“Have they found Albus?”

“They’re still looking. James, listen to me. I need you to go home and stay there. Okay?”

“I want to help.”

“I need you to go home and rest.”

“I’ve been there. I saw it last. You need me there. I need to help.”

“James,” his mum’s tone was firm. “You are injured and you’re barely seventeen. We’ll be okay. You need to go home and rest.”

“But–”

“Lily’s also going home. If you want to help, look after her. Okay?”

James didn’t want to relent, but he knew his mum was right. The wound would slow him considerably, and Albus would prefer for him to look after Lily.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Where – where is Lily?”

“She’s already at home,” his mum helped him stand again. “Come on. Take the Floo.”

James let her lead him to the fireplace and place a little bit of Floo Powder in his hand. He could do this. He could go home and look after Lily. So that they could find Albus. He could do this, for Albus.

He stepped into the hearth, closing his eyes and trying to avoid coughing as he shouted the address. He hated Floo travel.

He arrived in the kitchen a minute or so later, lying on the floor until the nausea had passed. It took longer than normal, but that was all to be expected.

He pulled himself up to sit against on of the cupboards, breathing in and out. Lily was sat at the table, staring forward with no consciousness of the world.

“Hey,” he croaked.

Lily jumped, almost shrinking back into himself as she realised it was only James. She had grown paler in a matter of hours and the beanie she had found made her almost mouse-like, wisps of hair poking out for one side.

James forced himself to his feet and sat again at the table. He reached out to take her hand, squeezing it as a tear trickled down her cheek.

“They didn’t let you help either?”

“They asked me to look after you.”

“I don’t need looking after. I didn’t get hurt.”

“We all got hurt.”

“You worse than me. You shouldn’t be looking after me.”

James sat back in his chair, looking at Lily. She had retreated back into the pre-built shell, and it had only taken hours. James understood, but it terrified him. Lily was a child. She was thirteen. And her brother was gone for the second time in a year.

It was wrong. All of it was wrong. But James knew that concentrating on that fact, that depressing truth, wouldn’t help any of them. He needed to do something, anything. Even if it felt pointless, he needed to keep himself occupied. 

“Okay,” he nodded. “Fine. I don’t have to look after you. But I’m going to find some books and try and work out how to break protection spells.”

“Lily looked at him, a spark in her eyes. “What?”

“We’re not giving up.”

“We’re going back for him?”

“Maybe. We’ll have to see. But we don’t have to sit here.”

Lily nodded, standing and leaving the room. James listened to her travelling upstairs, towards the darker sections of their bookshelves. He knew that he should go and help, but he had become momentarily distracted by the fact that his hands were both shaking and he couldn’t stop them.

He didn’t want to let it worry him. They had much bigger problems to deal with. 

“You know,” Lily mumbled when she arrived back, “it’s stupid and it shouldn’t matter, but her cutting off my hair was a little bit ironic. I’ve been thinking about cutting my hair recently. I guess she took the choice.” James didn’t respond. “I’m sorry. It’s not important.”

“It’s important to you.”

“Not with everything going on.”

“It’s still important. What you’ve been through isn’t less important because of what others are going through.”

Lily nodded. “Can we not talk about it? I shouldn’t have brought it up. Sorry.”

James took the book she passed him, opening it and scanning down the contents page. He flicked through to the sections on protective charms as Lily did the same beside him. And together, they started to read.

Occasionally, James would stop to note something down, but there didn’t seem to be much that he found useful. Not that he was the best person to do this. He hadn’t ever been good at Defence Against the Dark Arts. Lily seemed to be having a little more luck but James didn’t interrupt. She had found a distraction.

* * *

Scorpius couldn’t move. It didn’t matter because he had no desire to do so. He didn’t want to do anything. What was there to do in this situation? He couldn’t save Albus. He hadn’t been able to before. He couldn’t this time.

Despite what had been said, despite the promises that the Ministry had made, Scorpius knew they had very little chance. Albus would be in another location by now. Or the protective charms would be unbreakable. Or Delphi would be using a Fidelius Charm. In any case, it wouldn’t be something the Ministry could break without alerting Delphi to their presence.

The only way out Scorpius could see was Delphi bringing the fight to them, and that would involve beating her meticulously planned surprise-attack. And even that relied on Albus still being with Delphi. Not being dead. Not being sold on in some barter or other.

It also relied on, if it was a Fidelius Charm, Delphi being the Secret Keeper. Which she probably wasn’t.

Scorpius glanced up as his dad walked in, holding something, and his stomach sunk. Bringing that thing home had been a mistake, but he hadn’t known where else to put it.

“This was in your room,” his dad sat down on the chair opposite.

Scorpius nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Scorpius shook his head.

His mind was moving too quickly to talk about anything in a rational fashion. He just needed to scream, to get rid of some of the adrenaline building in his body. Except he didn’t have the strength to stand up.

The logical explanation would be that he hadn’t eaten since before the attack. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was because he was emotionally spent. Maybe, it didn’t actually matter.

“Albus will be okay,” his dad said. “I know your mind is going through everything constantly, but it’s going to be okay.”

“She gave me his wand.”

“And you’ll give it back to him when we bring him home.”

Scorpius didn’t reply. He couldn’t believe that. He couldn’t believe that they would bring Albus home if he knew that it might not happen. Although maybe it wouldn’t hurt to hope. It wasn’t like it would make a fall worse.

If Albus didn’t come home, Scorpius knew it would be okay. All of it. Albus had become his rock and his centre and his existence. Without Albus, two of the three people he loved most were gone. Without Albus, existing wasn’t really worth it. Without Albus, there was too much pain.

“Do you think…” Scorpius’ voice cracked. “Do you think mum will look after Albus?”

He looked at his dad, crumpling as a tear ran down his dad’s cheek. He didn’t have anything else to say. Not anymore.

“Albus isn’t going to die, Scorpius. No one will let that happen.”

“It’s not necessarily their decision.”

“Scorpius.”

“He would have died before if you hadn’t found us. He spent seven months on death’s door. He only lasted as long as he did because she had Tiago and me to concentrate on too. She doesn’t now. It’s just him. She’ll kill him. Or maybe she won’t. But either way, she’s the one in control.”

Scorpius didn’t wait for a response. He didn’t want to have this conversation now. He stood, leaning on the table to stop himself stumbling on his way to the fireplace.

“I need to go and see Lily and James,” he muttered. “I’ll – I’ll come back later."

He reached for the Floo Powder before stopping and looking at his dad.

“I’m sorry.”

His dad stood up, coming towards him cautiously. “I understand, Scorpius. It’s okay. It’s okay to be angry.”

Scorpius hugged his dad, closing his eyes and trying to shut out everything else. He was loved. That was what mattered here. And Albus. Albus mattered.

“Let me know if anything happens,” his dad whispered. “I love you.”

Scorpius nodded, taking the Floo Powder and climbing into the hearth. He threw the powder down, trying not to cough as he choked out the address. He made it through and, within a few seconds, he was spinning through the Floo Network at an alarming rate.

He landed on the Potter kitchen floor, looking up to see Lily and James sat at the table, buried in books. They looked up as he pulled himself to his feet. “What are you doing?” he stepped closer.

“Researching protective charms.”

“You’re trying to save Albus.”

“Of course we are.”

* * *

Albus didn’t know how he managed to get to sleep. He had tried, but with no expectation. After everything, he hadn’t thought his mind would calm enough to let him slip off, certainly not with the lack of nightmares. But he did sleep, and he was glad.

He sat up, glancing out the window and drawing his knees up to his chest. He had to keep going for as long as he could. No matter what happened. That was what life was about. What little he had left.

The irony bled through the situation. He had spent so long thinking he had survived this place, and now he was back and on death’s door. He didn’t even know if that qualified as irony, but he had to put some sort of label on the feeling.

The lock started to click open and Albus looked up as Delphi entered, smiling. Albus didn’t return the expression, only maintaining eye-contact out of fear.

“Get up. Breakfast is ready.”

“Do you want me to change?”

“I’ll give you five minutes.”

Albus watched her leave again, forcing himself to his feet and opening the drawers. He pulled out the first thing he saw and changed into it. He didn’t look at what it was. He didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

He left the room to find Delphi waiting outside. She didn’t try and touch him when he followed willingly, and he kept his head down. The lack of a hood somehow made him more uneasy that previously.

He had never been to the room Delphi led him to. It was small, a table in the middle. Two plates. Two small meals.

Albus didn’t sit until he was directed to. When he did, he didn’t eat until she started. 

So,” Delphi broke the silence, “how are you feeling, Albus?”

“I’m fine,” Albus lied.

“No, you’re not, but please don’t go into detail. We don’t need to hear it.”

Albus nodded, continuing to shovel food down his throat. He just needed to keep it all down, despite a lack of hunger. He didn’t know when he would next eat.

“I don’t have any need of you today,” Delphi said, “but I’ve got some parchment and ink so that you don’t get bored enough to smash your head in.”

“Thank you?”

“Yes, that’s an appropriate response.”

They continued in silence again and Albus’ hands started to shake. He wanted to say something, wanted to get angry, but he couldn’t. Not when it was such a small thing to get angry over. He had to keep it inside. He had to stop himself exploding.

Except–

“Could I say something?”

“Of what nature?”

“Something angry. Without – without putting them at risk.”

“Go ahead.”

Albus took a deep breath, still maintaining control of his breathing. He couldn’t really count on anything she said.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Excuse me?”

“What do you want from all of this?”

“You think I’d tell you?”

“You said I was weak because I cared about people. But I’m not. I’m not weak. I never was. I will always be stronger than you because of the people around me. Because I care about them. Because I let myself love.”

Silence.

And then.

“Go on.”

“I know it’s hard,” Albus looked Delphi in the eye. “It’s the hardest thing. But you have to take a leap of faith and reach out. You have to believe that it might be okay. Because that makes you stronger. That stops you being weak.”

Delphi looked at him, anger starting to descend around. Albus tried to prepare for the worst, but then she stopped.

“I took a leap of faith,” she spoke so quietly that Albus struggled to hear her, “and it failed. Over and over again.”

“So you’re doing this?”

“Yes. I’m doing this. You don’t know what I’m doing. So don’t make assumptions.”

Silence.

“Your job is to keep yourself healthy and alive. Do what you’re told and stay quiet.”

Albus nodded, looking at his food. He had to keep eating, given that he couldn’t really afford to lose weight anymore.

Eventually, Delphi took him back to the room, locking him inside. He turned to see a pile of parchment had appeared on the bed, along with an ink pot and single quill. His movements became strangely instinctual; he walked to the bed, picking up the parchment and smelling it.

It smelt like Scorpius. Or maybe Scorpius smelt like parchment.

Albus felt the tears starting to run down his face. It hadn’t fully dawned on him that Scorpius, _Scorpius_ , was gone. And maybe it had saved him. But Albus needed to see him again, feel his presence again.

Before, before, he’d had hope. He didn’t have that anymore. He’d said goodbye, but maybe looking away and forcing James to drag away the person he loved had been a mistake.

The parchment slipped out of his hands, landing on the floor as Albus grabbed the quill and opened the ink. He started to write the same words. Over and over and over again until his hand started to cramp, and then he started to write other things.

Reasons. Justifications. Apologies. Tragedy. Anger.

Something about the unfairness of it.

Not that it made any difference.

As he reached the bottom of the parchment, he stood again, glancing at the window. It had a little latch and Albus forced oxygen into his lungs. She wanted to tempt him. She wanted to play a stupid little game. She knew that he couldn’t take any route out. She had him. Completely and utterly.

Still.

He reached to open it, only mildly surprised when the window didn’t swing further than the width of his arm. He picked up the parchment, reading it over.

He didn’t want it. He didn’t want any of it. It was a reminder. So, when a gust of wind soared through and ripped it from his hands, carrying it out into the mountains, he didn’t really care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's not looking great, in the story or in my life lol.  
> Gender is fake and I am rapidly becoming a stressed out shell of a human being who is triggered by the process of looking in a mirror. That is where we are at, folks.
> 
> But...my binder is gonna arrive end of October time, so maybe??
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs


	10. Not Much Has Really Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: death, torture
> 
> Content warning: discussion/drinking of drugged drinks

None of them even considered going back to school once the days became the same. As the three of them went through more and more books in the Potter kitchen, they grew more and more desperate. Scorpius found himself reading and rereading the same paragraphs to try an understand them, the information simply flying over his head.

He understood that a severe lack of sleep couldn’t be helping, nor the fact that he only really ate at James’ insistence, but that wasn’t what he focussed on now.

James seemed to be good at taking care of people, even when he appeared more terrified than ever. He still took care of Scorpius and Lily and Scorpius didn’t understand how. He didn’t have time or energy to question it. Every ounce of his remaining spirit devoted itself to bringing Albus home.

A few days in, Scorpius arrived early in the morning and did a double take as he noticed that Lily had cut her hair. She had been wearing it in a hat before, but now it was just gone. Scorpius thought it suited her a little, but he didn’t say anything. It seemed to have bridged something in her mind too, because she moved with a new kind of ferocity.

And they kept researching. For hours and hours and hours until Scorpius did something so wildly out of character that even he stopped as it came out his mouth.

“We need to just go,” he looked up.

“What?”

“We’re not getting anywhere with this. We just need to go and do our best. Otherwise he’ll be dead or gone before we can save him.”

“He’s right,” Lily looked between Scorpius and her brother. “We just have to go and hope for the best.”

“You’re not coming, Lily.”

“I’m coming,” Lily snapped. “He’s my brother and I’m coming.”

“You’re thirteen–”

“And you are seventeen and Scorpius is fifteen and is so deep in trauma that you’ve had to force him to eat. We’re not exactly fighting fit. But we’re still going and I’m coming with.”

James paused, before nodding. Lily smiled and Scorpius bit his lip. They were going to get hurt. Maybe they’d all survive. But he knew it was a bad idea. The only idea they had left.

“I’m going to bring Albus’ wand,” Scorpius mumbled. “He needs to be able to fight if we want a shot at this.”

* * *

Albus glanced up as Delphi set the mug down in front of him, heavy, thick fumes rising from the liquid inside. Albus knew what she wanted, but every alarm bell he possessed had just started ringing.

Delphi sat opposite him, a smirk fixed on her face that Albus half-attempted to return it. They had a routine and the routine kept him alive and kept his family alive.

“You want me to drink it?” he muttered.

“That was the general idea.”

Albus picked up the mug, recoiling at the smell that made him immediately drowsy.

“Why is it drugged?”

“You need to travel. I need to make sure you’re placid enough to do so.”

“You don’t trust me enough?”

“There is too much riding on this for it to go wrong.”

Albus put the mug down, eyeing Delphi. She had calmed. She was still a threat, but something had happened and now she was a quiet sort of threat. Arguably he should have been more scared of that. But instead, his thoughts landed on those of being able to get her to open up. Maybe she would leave a hole for him to escape through.

“What do you get out of this?”

“Enough gold to disappear.”

“No world domination anymore?”

Surprisingly, there was no pain in answer to this comment.

“It’s not what I want anymore. But this, this will get me enough to disappear. You won’t be my problem and I can be happy.”

“Hurting people doesn’t make you happy.”

“It gets boring when it’s repetitive. I’d much prefer to settle down. That part is just harder when you’re a fugitive.”

Albus nodded, looking at the mug again. He had to do this. He had to move forward. Maybe he would get lucky and Teddy would have pulled through another miracle.

Maybe he’d actually get that date with Scorpius. It felt a little too long overdue.

“When I leave – this place – are my family safe? Permanently?”

“I’d imagine so.”

Albus raised the mug to his lips.

* * *

Scorpius stumbled forward a few feet as they appeared in the winter air. The wind howled around the side of the mountainside, forcing him to raise his hood against the cold. He scanned around for the building, but nothing became apparent.

Scorpius started to walk towards the cliff face, trying to amass what little knowledge he had of the defensive charms. There had to be a way to break them. To find out whether Albus was here or not. Or if he was alive or not.

Although Scorpius had convinced himself that Albus’ death wasn’t an inevitable factor, he couldn’t bring himself to believe that Albus was okay. He had to be realistic about the situation.

He kept walking, heartbeat ringing in his ears. One step at a time. One movement forward a moment. If he kept moving, they would make it or they would find something or something would–

Scorpius stopped.

A damp piece of parchment appeared on the road a few feet ahead or him, or perhaps it had always been there. Scorpius knelt and picked it up, dusting some snowflakes off it and holding it flat. At one point, it had been covered in ink, but Scorpius couldn’t make out words now. James pulled out his wand and attempted some sort of drying and reversal spell Scorpius had read about a few months ago.

Minute on minute, the writing began to form proper words, until Scorpius’ heart missed a beat and he nearly dropped the notes.

“That’s – that’s Albus,” he croaked. “That’s Albus’ handwriting.”

Scorpius’ eyes filled with tears as he read Albus’ words. The same three words. Over and over. It changed as he got a little further down. Anger. Pain. Hatred. Justification. But still Albus. Still Albus’ heart and core and feelings.

Scorpius tried not to scream.

James put a hand on his shoulder squeezing it in what Scorpius understood to be a gesture of reassurance. Not that it worked. Not that anything would work.

“I read about this curse,” Lily said, barely audible over the wind, “that could break a Fidelius Charm. I didn’t really mention it because it was ridiculously complicated. But I brought the book with because it had something else useful.”

She pulled it out of her inner coat pocket, flicking through and stopping at a page that she handed to James. He pulled out his wand and started to mutter to himself.

“What is the likelihood that Albus wrote this recently?” he asked.

“I don’t know. But it could have snowed an hour ago so maybe it’s worth a try?”

“Anything is worth a try,” Scorpius said.

James nodded, taking the parchment. Scorpius tried to ignore the pit in his stomach as James started to mutter more to himself. He didn’t seem to be breathing properly in his concentration, but Scorpius knew better than to try and stop him. James knew what he was doing. To some extent.

The minutes of waiting in the cold were some of the longest in Scorpius’ life. Lily took his hand, weaving their freezing fingers together and running her thumb over his knuckles. Albus had done it before and now it offered a little reassurance. Just a little.

When James’ breathing returned to normal, a castle appeared on the mountainside. Scorpius stared at it, his stomach sinking. He didn’t want to go back here. He would rather have done anything other than walking through those doors.

But Albus was so much more important than what he wanted.

Scorpius almost ran towards it, taking Lily with him. James followed and the three of them stopped at the door, taking in the large wooden structure. At a glance, it looked almost rotten but it would all be for appearances. They would need magic for this.”

“James?”

“You open it,” James said. “If this goes south, we’ll need help and you casting something sends a location. They’ll know it’s us and they’ll know they can’t stop us. You open it.”

Scorpius nodded, pulling his wand out and forcing air into his lungs. He could manage one spell to get this door open. He could walk through this door because that would lead him back to Albus.

They didn’t know where they were going. They didn’t know how to fight someone this powerful. This was a terrible idea. But they were doing it to save Albus.

Scorpius muttered a charm and a small section of the door disappeared. He ducked inside, Lily and James following before any of them had a chance to think it through. Having time to think was bad.

He pulled them down hall after hall, until he started to hear voices. He didn’t know where he was going. He had never seen any of this place before, besides his room and the hall. But he walked towards the voices, getting faster as they got clearer. Eventually, Scorpius could work out some of the words.

A man and a woman were speaking. A man and Delphi. Delphi sounded angry. No other sounds. No sign of Albus, but he would have been quiet anyway.

Scorpius recognised the hall doors upon reaching them. He leant his ear against them, his stomach sinking as the conversation began completing itself.

“–a satisfactory amount?” the man was saying.

“Is it enough to allow me to disappear off the face of the earth?”

“It should be.”

“Then yes, it’s a satisfactory amount.”

“You’re charging an awful lot for a child.”

“Yes, well he’s not really a child anymore. I’d say people stop being children when they go through as much as I put him through.” Silence. “Don’t worry; he’s had some time to recover.”

Scorpius caught James’ eye, nodding as he pushed the door open. The three of them all but charged through, wands raised, and Scorpius stopped as Delphi and the man broke off. Of course, this was where the complete lack of a plan became abundantly clear. This had been a rash move. He was starting to regret it.

He tried to take in the scene across the hall. Delphi and the man stood a few feet apart, not friendly with one another, and Albus stood behind them, staring forward with a terrifying blankness. His eyes had glazed over, cold and unfeeling.

“Well,” Delphi broke the silence. “I can’t say I wasn’t expecting this, though I was expecting a little more preparation.”

“We came for him,” Scorpius refused to let his voice shake. “Let him go.”

“What are you offering?”

Scorpius didn’t say anything.

“You see, Rabastan here is offering me enough gold to let me achieve an ambition. What are you offering?”

Scorpius didn’t have a reply. Of course he didn’t. All he could think about was having to get to Albus. Somehow. He didn’t even know why. Albus didn’t appear properly conscious. But Scorpius needed to be close to him. A week was too long.

At least, before, he had known Albus was still alive. He had never imagined those screams would be considered a blessing. Of sorts.

Scorpius kept his eyes on Albus, well aware that he too was under scrutiny. They had no way out of this. They had walked in thinking it would just be a fight, but here they were, with no way out. If they died now, it was Scorpius’ fault and he knew that.

“Scorpius, I’m waiting.”

Scorpius watched Albus for a moment longer and, in that moment, Albus’ eyes seemed to flash a little. Scorpius tried not to betray that anything had happened as Albus moved his head down and then up, slowly enough to go unnoticed. At that point, Scorpius knew. He knew something Delphi didn’t.

“Fine,” he said quietly. “No, I haven’t got anything to offer you.”

“Scorpius–”

“We can’t fight this, James,” Scorpius let his eyes fill with tears. “She’s right.”

“Thank you, Scorpius. Do you want to go now?”

“Can I say goodbye?”

“Again?”

“Please.”

“Go ahead. Not that he’ll know.”

Scorpius glanced down at the floor, every movement from then on becoming incredibly calculated. He walked slowly, hands shoved in pockets, hoping that that in itself was out-of-character enough to alert Lily and James.

As he drew close to Albus, he paused for a few seconds before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. Albus only leant in slightly, remaining mainly still as Scorpius let his tears fall. If it hadn’t been for the situation at hand, the moment would have been overwhelming. But they had things to do.

On the walk over, Scorpius had slipped Albus’ wand up his sleeve and now he tucked it into Albus’ hand. Albus closed his fist around it, moving his hand so that it was behind his back as if Scorpius had squashed it slightly. And then they were ready.

Scorpius let go of Albus, turning back to Delphi. He smiled at Lily and James. And then he pulled out his own wand, throwing a stunning spell in Delphi’s direction.

In the few seconds she took to register what was happening and dodge, Lily and James pulled out their wands, running to meet Scorpius and Albus in the centre of the hall. Delphi roared in frustration, pulling out her own wand and rising into the air.

Scorpius stopped for half a second, taking in the fact that Delphi could fly. He had known this. He’d seen it before. But that didn’t take away from that fact he had forgotten somewhat. He kept firing spells, trying to disarm or stun or incapacitate her in some way for long enough to restrain her.

For whatever reason, Rabastan Lestrange wasn’t getting involved, but Scorpius didn’t care. If it made his life a little easier for some moment in time, he could afford to worry later.

Scorpius wasn’t surprised that Delphi could take all four of them in a duel. None of them were prepared to hurt her, despite everything, and she seemed more than willing to cause harm. Scorpius found himself dodging what he assumed was more than one Crucio.

The fight stopped in half an instant, when Lily was dragged forward, clawing at her throat. Her feet trailed along the floor, chin angled upwards, as if someone was holding her. Scorpius stopped, as did James and Albus.

“Good,” Delphi floated back to the floor. “You three really are stupid. Did you think you’d be able to charge in and win a duel?”

“Let go of her!” Albus snarled.

Delphi obliged, dropping Lily onto the floor and placing a hand on her shoulder. Lily closed her eyes.

“And you,” Delphi called to Rabastan, “you weren’t much help.”

“I’m not that interested in your investment. He’s fun as – well – a good side project. But it’s not the end of the world if he gets himself killed. I really don’t care. If you want me to take him off your hands for the agreed fee, you get control of the situation.”

Delphi glared at him, grabbing Lily’s collar and forcing her to her feet again.

“Albus,” she smiled. “You are going to come back.”

Scorpius couldn’t do anything to stop him when Albus dropped his wand and walked back to her. Delphi smiled, taking his arm and pushing Lily back towards Scorpius and James.

“See,” she murmured, “that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“We’re not leaving without him,” James said. “He’s our brother and our friend and we aren’t leaving without him.”

“You won’t want him in a moment.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, what I gave him before made it easier to transport him, but it seems we might need the slightly more extreme option.”

Scorpius didn’t have time to say anything as Delphi pulled her wand out again and pointed it at Albus. What followed was about half a second before Albus screaming, collapsing to his knees and shaking violently.

Scorpius wanted to run towards him, to stop her, but couldn’t. James had grabbed him and was forcing him to stay still. Because James understood that nothing would get better if Scorpius got involved.

So all Scorpius could do was watch Albus writhing and screaming and pleading with Delphi to stop. A strange golden-white haze started to escape from his body, collecting in the air above him. Albus started to still as more of the stuff appeared, eventually growing silent and slumping forward. Lily screamed.

* * *

James didn’t realise that Scorpius had escaped his grip until he was at Albus’ side, trying to sit him up. Except Albus wouldn’t sit up. His eyes were closed and Scorpius fumbled for his wrist, before letting out a small sigh of relief.

“What did you do?” he looked up at Delphi.

James held his breath as Delphi collected the haze into a little bottle, almost like a memory, pocketing it with a small smile. She glanced at Scorpius, backing away a little.

“I made it even easier to transport him. Don’t worry. He’s not dead.”

“Wake him up,” James forced himself to stay still, if only to keep Lily in one place; she was sobbing and shaking, almost uncontrollably.

“I don’t want to.”

Scorpius brought Albus into his lap, wrapping his arms around him and trying to cradle his head. He started to cry, his shoulders shaking. James had to stay calm. He had to get them out of this alive. If he lost his head, then they were completely screwed.

But how did he not lose his head in this situation? His brother wasn’t going to wake up. They were back at the mercy of a madwoman who had controlled their lives for over half a year. And they had to get out of here without anyone dying.

Delphi started to walk back towards Scorpius and Albus, playing absentmindedly with her wand.

“Get away from them!” Lily screamed at her, her sobs growing again. “Get away, you monster!”

Delphi smirked, crouching down beside Scorpius. She sat down, placing an arm around his shoulders, and reached out to touch Albus. She never made it. The world went up in smoke.

Lily screamed again, a word that James couldn’t make out. But that didn’t matter. Delphi flew across the room, colliding with the wall with a hollow crunch.

James stared, not knowing how to react, until he forced himself into action. He ran towards Delphi, wand raised. Lily followed and, by the sounds of it, she was not breathing properly. James couldn’t blame her.

He stopped next to Delphi’s limp body, trying to work out what to do. She lay against the wall, blood trickling down her neck and front. He arm stuck out at an odd angle but, despite, everything, she smiled at them.

“Shit,” Lily cried. “Shit, shit, shit, no. No. Please. I didn’t meant – I didn’t want to–”

“Don’t worry about it,” Delphi’s voice came out at a whisper. “It was inevitable.”

James knelt down beside Delphi, trying to remember anything he knew about healing. Not much, but there had to be something he could do.

“Stop,” Delphi croaked. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

“You’re going to die.”

“And I choose that over Azkaban again. So take the bottle out of my pocket and tell them Rabastan killed me.”

“How do we save Albus?” James said, raising his wand again.

He didn’t want to threaten her as such, but he had to keep Albus. If Delphi could do that, then he could bring himself to sinking a little lower. But she just laughed, the sound jarring and broken.

“I’m not telling you – not that much…have a nice life.”

“Please,” Lily sobbed. “Please…I’m sorry…please…”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’ve done so much wrong that this is probably atonement for someone. Chaos reigns a little less or something. Well done.”

She paused.

“Why do I sound like such a pretentious fucker?”

James watched as Delphi’s eyes closed and she slumped back, falling against the floor with a dull thud. James edged closer, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the bottle of stuff she had pulled from Albus. He grimaced, pocketing it.

“James,” Lily croaked from behind him. “James…”

1James stood up, turning back to her. Tears streamed down her face as she started to shake again.

“Lily,” James took her hands. “Lily, look at me.”

“She’s…I…I didn’t mean…”

“I know,” James murmured. “I know you didn’t, but right now, we need to get Albus home, okay? We can sort all of this out but we need to get him back first.”

Lily nodded, wiping away a few of her tears. They just kept coming.

“Wait here,” James said, squeezing her hands.

He stood, about to hurry to Albus and Scorpius, but he stopped short as he saw Rabastan almost doubled over with laughter. James ignored him.

“Who’d have thought it?” Rabastan’s voice rang through the hall. “Lily Potter has the guts to kill someone.”

“Shut up,” James snapped.

“Why should I? It’s a momentous day when a Potter child become worse than their father. We should celebrate.”

Lily let out another sob, covering her ears and sinking to the floor. James forced his attention back to Albus. They had to get Albus to hospital. They had to save Albus. It would all be okay if they could keep Albus alive.

But what if they didn’t? What if Albus died and it was his fault because he had agreed to let them come without preparations. What if Albus died because they hadn’t told their parents they were going and couldn’t get back to St. Mungo’s.

“James,” Scorpius’ voice cut through his thoughts.

James flinched, nodding and clearing his mind. He could keep moving. It didn’t matter if his movements were robotic. It didn’t matter if he let himself become almost unhuman. He just needed to get Albus back. At whatever cost.

“Malfoy,” Lestrange called. “I would have thought you’d be glad. She tortured you for months. Her dying must feel brilliant.”

“Ignore him,” James moved to pick up Albus.

“James,” Scorpius says again, voice cracking. “James, you can’t tell them about the bottle.”

“What?”

“The bottle that – she – gave you…you can’t give it to anyone.”

“I was going to give it to the Healers–”

“No.”

“Scorpius.”

“Please. Please, James. I – I can explain later. Just please promise me…”

“Okay,” James nodded. “Okay, but you need to explain as soon as we’re alone.”

James wrapped his arms around Albus, starting to pick him up, when the hall doors burst open and his parents, Draco, and what looked like about half of the Ministry charged in, wands raised. They seemed ready to curse, but all faltered at the lack of imminent threat.

“Delphi,” James’ dad said. “Where’s Delphi?”

“She’s not a threat,” Scorpius seemed surprisingly calm. “We need to get Albus back to St. Mungo’s. She did something, but she’s not a threat now.”

“Are you sure?” Draco knelt down beside them, with James’ dad. His mum had gone to Lily, who still stood, shaking and sobbing.

“She’s over there,” James nodded towards the side of the hall. “She – she…”

“Potter,” Rabastan called, the laughter breaking through his voice. “Would you like to guess which of your children is a murderer?”

“What happened?”

“Harry,” James’ mum appeared next to them. “What’s going on?”

“We need to take Albus to St. Mungo’s.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

James couldn’t form the words. He didn’t even know himself. He just needed to move. He could find the words later. Maybe. When the Healers asked. Not that he could tell the whole truth after what Scorpius had asked.

“We just need to go,” James choked out. “Explain – I can explain later.”

His dad nodded, taking Albus from James and starting to stand up. His mum murmured something that James didn’t catch, but it seemed fairly self-explanatory with a glance at Lily.

That was all he seemed to be able to do. Look. Watch. Witness.

His dad walked away with Albus limp in his arms. His mum disappeared with a sobbing Lily. Draco and Scorpius followed Albus. And James was just left standing. Watching. Waiting.

Though for what, he had very little idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Delphi is officially dead but I have just plunged us into the wonders of the next section of this story.
> 
> Writing may get a tad slower because every time I stop (a lot), I seem to just sit and stim. A lot. Followed by emotionless breakdowns because I would really like to feel things please. Not the time to start oversharing whatever my brain is doing? Sorry. 
> 
> We'll work this out? Maybe?
> 
> Also, I'm planning an enemies to lovers so someone hold me to that please
> 
> Thanks for reading this thing I nearly forgot to publish.  
> Kudos and comments


	11. Only Meant To Happen Once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: discussion of previous character death

Scorpius didn’t let go of his dad’s hand as they followed Harry down the Hospital corridors, to whatever room they had been told to go to. As long as he didn’t have to leave Albus’ side. Albus had given his safety and sanity to keep him safe, and it now he might have given his life.

Scorpius hoped it hadn’t come to that. Albus had been breathing. He’d had a pulse. Delphi had said he wasn’t dead. By all accounts, he looked unconscious. But Delphi had pulled that – stuff – out of him.

Scorpius had some inkling to what it might be. The thought terrified him, but he’d read enough books about magical creatures to have an idea of what different effects looked like. He recognised the effects of Dementors and that terrified him more than the Augurey ever had.

He shook the thought. He didn’t need to have a panic attack on the way to the Hospital ward. They had enough problems to deal with. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. One breath at a time. Whatever it took to keep going.

The ward was quiet when they arrived. Scorpius hung back until Albus had been lain out on the bed, glancing at Harry, and then back at Albus.

Albus looked dead. His skin had paled and, though his chest was rising and falling, the movements were small enough to be inconsequential. Scorpius bit his lip. Albus wasn’t dead. He wouldn’t die. Not if Scorpius had anything to do with it.

“Where’s – where’s Lily’s and James?”

“Ginny took Lily home. James went to the Ministry to give an account of what happened.”

“Let me,” Scorpius said. “James – he shouldn’t have to go through it all again.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“If it means I can stay with Albus,” Scorpius nodded.

He didn’t mind. He almost needed to talk about it. He was used to recounting things. James shouldn’t have to go through that process if Scorpius was able to. What with the first time always being the worst.

So he explained. He explained everything from the beginning to the research to the leaving. He took the blame, lowering his voice when he reached the bit about Lily. He didn’t know what they were going to do about that. Surely they couldn’t send a thirteen year old to Azkaban over something that had ultimately been in self-defence.

When Scorpius finished, Harry stood, thanking him and hurrying out again. Scorpius didn’t care where he went. He looked back at Albus’ figure as his dad sat beside him. Neither spoke. Neither had anything to say.

After a few minutes, his dad did break the silence.

“You’d do anything for him, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Scorpius nodded. “Yeah, I would.”

“Your mother would be proud of you. Of how deeply you love.”

“What was it like? When you first – well – yeah…”

“When your mother and I first started dating?” Draco looked at him. “It was the best secret I’ve ever had to keep. Everything felt like a whirlwind. So fast. It wasn’t easy, but she made it worth it. And I hope I made it worth it for her.”

“Albus – Albus and I,” Scorpius bit his lip, “we were dating before – before she took us. For a few hours. Or maybe months. Either way, it ended. But it started again. And now…”

“Are you happy with him?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t had a chance to be. Both times we started, we got separated immediately. But I think – I think if we had a chance – we would be.”

“I’m glad.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” his dad took his hand. “It was your choice and I respect it.” Silence. “Your mother said, when you first came home from Hogwarts, that meeting Albus would be the best thing to happen to you. That every good thing would stem from him.”

“Do you think she was trying to tell you something?”

“I think she considered this. But I think she also considered that you had found someone you worked with, and that whatever came of that would bring you strength and love. Not always happiness. But nothing always brings happiness.”

Scorpius nodded. He looked back at Albus, his head starting to swim again. If Albus didn’t wake up, Scorpius knew it would be his fault. He had rushed them into this. He was the reason that she had ‘needed’ to do this to Albus. If they couldn’t wake Albus, then Albus’ death would be on him and his rashness and stupidity.

Scorpius looked up as the door opened and James came in, crouching down beside Albus and taking his hand.

“Did you tell them what happened?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Scorpius nodded. “I – I was okay to talk. I didn’t want you to have to go through it again.”

“Thank you. For doing it.”

“It was the least I could do.”

“Could I talk to you outside?”

Scorpius nodded, standing and following James out into the corridor with a final glance at Albus. They ducked into an alcove and Scorpius started to fiddle with his hands.

“So,” James looked at him, “why have we lied to Healers and the government about what happened?”

“When mum was in Hospital,” Scorpius looked at the floor, “they would run hundreds of tests on her, and parts of her. And whatever that thing is, it’s part of Albus. A big part. I don’t want him to get hurt. Please, James. Please don’t tell anyone.”

He could barely meet James’ gaze as silence fell between them. James wouldn’t want to do this. It was stupid. But he hadn’t been able to keep Albus safe before and this gave them some semblance of a shot at it. Even if it didn’t make sense. None of this made sense.

“What are you planning to do instead?”

“I don’t know,” Scorpius admitted. “I’ll work something out. Or try to find something to wake him up.”

“If he’s stable,” James murmured, “if he’s stable, then take a couple of weeks. But if you can’t…”

“I know. I – I know.”

There was another silence and James glanced up and down the corridor. Once he had checked that they were alone, he pulled the bottle out and pushed it into Scorpius’ hand.

“Take it, and promise me that if you can’t save him, you’ll tell them the truth.

Scorpius nodded, but he couldn’t form the words to promise.

* * *

Lily found herself alone again very quickly. She didn’t complain. She didn’t care. Her world had started to crash again, and this time she was entirely responsible.

Rabastan was right. She was a murderer. She was thirteen and she had murdered someone in something she would always try to justify to herself. She had been trying to protect her brother, but now she’d made it all worse.

She hadn’t seen Albus yet. She didn’t have the energy to throw herself into that yet. If he was stable, then she had time to compose herself. It was selfish, completely selfish, but it was still a thought because she didn’t care about fighting it off anymore.

The lack of sleep and food had started to get inside her head. Or maybe the thoughts were rational. They felt rational and logical and right even if they did scare her shitless.

She wasn’t being punished for Delphi’s death. They were sweeping it all under the rug. Lily didn’t know whether it was because she was thirteen or because she was a Potter. She suspected the latter.

But if Albus died, she was going to insist on something in terms of punishment. Albus’ death would be her fault. Delphi would have known a cure for this curse, but now she was gone.

So Albus’ death would be her fault.

* * *

Scorpius refused to go home that night. He dosed in the chair beside Albus’ bed, waking up at the slightest disturbance, but it didn’t matter. As long as he stayed at Albus’ side, he would okay. Unless Albus got worse.

As the light started to stream through the window in the morning, Scorpius stretched. His limbs had gone a bit dead from the lack of movement and he could almost hear Albus laughing, telling him that he still needed to look after himself. His eyes filled with tears.

The Healers would come in soon and they wouldn’t be alone anymore. Though, when Scorpius glanced at the clock, he grimaced upon realising how early it still was. He hadn’t really slept, and today would be hard. As would every single day until they worked out how to bring Albus back.

Scorpius looked at Albus, his heart almost stopping as he saw that Albus’ eyes were open, staring upwards. He blinked a few times to ensure he wasn’t hallucinating, and then he knelt down and took Albus’ hand.

“Albus? Albus, can you hear me?”

No response. No suggestion that Albus had even heard a sound.

“Albus, are you there? Please. If you can hear me, or see me, please.”

Still nothing.

“Albus!”

Scorpius’ eyes filled with tears as he shook Albus’ arm, and then his shoulders. Albus seemed unaware that Scorpius was there, or that he was anywhere at all. But that didn’t stop Scorpius from trying until a Healer came in. Scorpius only stepped away then because the Healer was far more qualified than him.

The Healer worked silently for a number of minutes before turning back to Scorpius.

“He isn’t responsive, but he’s stable.”

“He’s not responsive?”

“He’s showing signs of a particular type of brain damage.”

And then the Healer was gone.

When the Potters arrived about ten minutes later, Scorpius pulled James out into the corridor. He’d spent every waking moment considering this since it had happened and now he had very little other explanation. It terrified him beyond belief.

“We can’t give them the bottle,” he murmured.

“We went through this yesterday, Scorpius,” James looked exhausted. “I said I’d give you time.”

“Albus’ soul is inside that bottle.”

“What?”

“He woke up. But he’s unresponsive. Completely.”

“And why does that equate to his soul being in a bottle?”

“The Dementor’s Kiss.”

James stared at Albus, mouth hanging open. “Dementor’s Kiss? Scorpius. What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m not sure how to explain.”

“There weren’t any Dementors. Delphi did that. With a spell. Not a Dementor.”

“Albus has the same symptoms,” Scorpius burst out. “Being awake, but not awake. Body working but a complete vacancy of mind. And in accounts from people witnessing the kiss, they’ve described the golden haze.”

“So it’s over?” James slumped. “Albus is gone.”

Scorpius forced himself to breathe properly. He’d been down this train of thought and he had worked through most of it already, but he couldn’t help but panic. Living without Albus would be his end. Losing Albus wasn’t an option.

“Maybe not,” he murmured. Then, off James’ scepticism. “Think about it; we write off Dementor’s Kisses as incurable because the soul is gone. It’s untraceable. But we have Albus’ soul. We have the missing pieces of – of him.”

“So how do we fix this?”

“I don’t know.”

“Two weeks,” James said softly. “You have two weeks to work this out, and then I’m telling the Healers.”

Scorpius nodded.

* * *

The time kept passing. Scorpius researched as much as possible without attracting attention, but he didn’t find much. No one had ever tried to reinstate a person’s soul before. He didn’t tell the Healers. Albus was stable. He didn’t need to.

Albus would wake up around the same time each day. He could swallow, though he required feeding and Scorpius did that much of the time. Sometimes, his eyes tracked Scorpius’ movements, though that wasn’t common.

The first time this happened, Scorpius had thought Albus might be waking up and he had allowed his hopes to shoot through the roof. But nothing ever followed. This happened four times.

The days stayed the same. Staying with Albus. Moving away when he had family visits. Coming back when they were gone.

In a way, he liked the distraction. Christmas had come around again. Scorpius didn’t want to remember Christmas even existed anymore. The last two Christmas’ consisted of enough pain to last a lifetime. Helping care for Albus acted as a distraction. Even if he would have done last Christmas every day for the rest of his life for Albus to be awake again.

Scorpius hadn’t actually noticed that Christmas Day had arrived until Albus’ entire family had crowded into the room, sitting in corners and across the floor when there were no more chairs. Scorpius didn’t move, his breathing slowing as someone sat down in the chair beside him.

He didn’t want to leave Albus alone or go home, simply because he knew what would happen if he did. But being here, at the centre of Albus’ family, felt wrong. Scorpius was the reason they even had to be here, and Albus couldn’t be aware it was happening.

Scorpius managed to stay for a few minutes, but eventually he stood up. James caught his arm, shaking his head.

“I should go,” Scorpius muttered. “This – I’m really not meant to be here.”

“You are family. Albus loves you. That makes you family.”

Scorpius sat back down, but he still didn’t feel anywhere close to comfortable. Christmas in a hospital room. Surrounding a person who might never be aware of any of it.

At least last Christmas he’d had a night with Albus. Even if they’d slept through it, even if Scorpius could have sworn that every bone in his body had broken and healed a hundred times over, they’d had a night for the two of them to be together.

Scorpius let the day pass, staying out of the conversation and keeping himself entirely focussed on Albus. Albus. Who hadn’t moved this entire time. Who would occasionally make an unintelligible sound.

A few times, someone said something to him, and he wouldn’t react. But a few minutes later, he would half smile, his expression blank and vague to the point where only Scorpius would notice. Everyone else had distracted themselves but Scorpius didn’t want to. He wanted to spend every waking moment with the person he loved.

Apart from the increased number of people, the day continued in much the same fashion as every day beforehand. Until Albus’ mouth fell open a little more and he just screamed.

Scorpius leapt to his feet, searching for a cause of pain or a problem. But nothing was obvious and Scorpius didn’t even know what he would be looking for, but he kept searching anyway. Kept searching until a Healer pulled him out of the way and James grabbed him from behind.

“No,” Scorpius fought to get away from James “No! James! James! I need to help him. You have to let me back in there–”

James ignored his cries until they found their alcove again, when he let go of Scorpius and took his hand to keep his concentration focussed. 

“Scorpius,” James half-snapped to get his attention properly. “You need to stop.”

“Let me go back!” Scorpius had started to cry.

“I’ve been reading up on the Dementor’s Kiss. Its aftereffects.”

“Not now. Let me help him.”

“This happens,” James continued calmly. “Reactions without any stimulus. You can’t stop it. You just have to wait it out.”

“But he’s hurting.”

“He’s not in pain. I know that’s hard to get your head around, but I promise he’ll be okay. We just have to wait it out.”

Scorpius nodded, half a second before he obeyed every instinct and threw himself into James’ arms, sobbing into his shoulder. James wrapped his arms around Scorpius, rocking him back and forth. Scorpius didn’t even understand why it comforted him. He didn’t know how anything could be a comfort in a situation like this. But it was. And it could be. And Scorpius let it happen because he needed it.

He and James sat down in the alcove and Scorpius drew his knees up to his chest. Wait it out. They just had to wait it out and Albus would be okay. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe.

They sat for a long time, until Scorpius looked up to see Tiago coming around the corner. He had seen him a few times, to catch up on what had happened with him and Craig. Craig had been discharged from Hospital after four days, and he had come to see Albus once.

According to Tiago, while Delphi had ended the attacks on the castle, the traps that were already set hadn’t been neutralised, and Craig had gotten injured, sheltering the younger years from an explosion.

“Scorpius,” Tiago murmured, “can I talk to you?”

“About what?”

“Albus.”

Scorpius hesitated. He didn’t have the energy to want to do this, but if Tiago wanted to talk, it would be about helping Albus. Which meant Scorpius had to get over himself and have this conversation. He stood up, mumbled a see you later to James, and followed Tiago a little way down the corridor.

“Lily told me what happened,” he said. “What actually happened.”

“Please tell me you haven’t told anyone.”

“I’m not that stupid,” Tiago assured him, “but I think I might be able to help.”

“I’m all ears.”

Scorpius didn’t know or care where the sarcastic edge had emerged from. He didn’t try and get rid of it. Tiago would understand. After everything, they just had to work quickly. Or at least work.

“When we were – there,” Tiago said, “the first time, there were some rooms that I wasn’t allowed in for any reason. Her offices. Probably the places where our wands were found. Places the Ministry searched.”

“And?”

“There were some rooms she forced me into, for hours. Rooms that you wouldn’t know existed, even with revelation spells. You know she had that bloody power complex. She would just gloat for hours about her so-called achievements and inventions.”

“Inventions?”

“Yeah,” Tiago nodded. “Spells.”

“Did she ever say anything about something like this?”

“Once. And if there’s a cure, it’ll be in there.”

“You can get inside.”

“I can. And we can go now. I would have come sooner if I’d know what had happened. I’m sorry. But we can go now. We can try and save Albus.”

Scorpius started to leap at the proposal, but he pulled himself back a moment later. The idea of returning to that place, after everything, seemed wrong. Returning to the cause of pain to be relieved of it seemed somewhat counter-productive. But for Albus, that didn’t matter.

“I need to tell my dad,” Scorpius said. “I can’t disappear on him again.”

“He’d let you go?”

“He hasn’t got a choice in the matter. I’d just rather he knew.”

Tiago nodded, following Scorpius down the corridor to the nearest Floo point. While his dad did come to see him every day, Scorpius very much understood with his reluctance to be in the building for a long time. He hadn’t been upset when his dad had asked if it was okay for him to stay home.

Scorpius stopped just before he climbed into the fireplace, telling Tiago to come with him. It would be easier to go straight to the destination rather than Flooing back and forth.

He slid out of the fireplace in his kitchen, slipping all over the place he ran out the room. His dad would probably be in his office. That was where he spent most of his time alone. The only room that Scorpius almost never went into.

Scorpius didn’t bother knocking, bursting in and causing his dad to jump.

“We might have found a way to help Albus,” he explained. 

“Have the Healers found something?”

Scorpius stopped. He had almost forgotten about the lies.

“They haven’t,” he mumbled, “but that’s partly my fault”

“In what way?”

“I didn’t let anyone tell them what happened. But Tiago knows and he says there might be a way to bring Albus back. Properly. We’re going now.”

“Going where?”

“Back.”

His dad stood. “No.”

“Dad.”

“You’re not going back there.”

“I’m not leaving Albus to wither away in a hospital bed. We have a shot at finding a way to wake him up.”

His dad looked as if he was about to object heavily, but he stopped, shoulders deflating.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Okay, I can’t stop you. But I’m coming with you.”

Scorpius didn’t argue against that. He would prefer his dad’s presence, in all honesty. The two of them went back downstairs to find Tiago still stood by the fireplace. Scorpius’ dad hesitated slightly, but he nodded, offering an arm to both of them.

“Dad’s coming,” Scorpius explained off Tiago’s look. “He insisted, and it’s probably safer anyway.”

Tiago nodded and Scorpius drew in additional oxygen as his dad disapparated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearly at the end of this and my god it's been a long one. Everything is kinda going everywhere and I still can't multifocus lol.
> 
> I have had a major headcanon idea.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Fuck JKR and TERFs in general  
> Black Lives Matter


	12. Yes, I Lied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: minor outing

The uneasiness settled in Scorpius when they appeared in the building. He could liken it to being hit with a small sack of bricks, but he didn’t comment. They had come here with the purpose of saving Albus and Scorpius didn’t intend to leave until they had the means to.

He still had the bottle in his pocket. He’d left it in, wrapping it in several scraps on material to protect it. Occasionally, he took it out to gaze at it, but never for too long.

He’d taken it out around Albus once, and Albus had seemed a little more alert, though that may well have been wishful thinking.

Scorpius and Draco followed Tiago down the corridors, remaining silent. They didn’t have anything to talk about that wouldn’t be intensely personal and inappropriate. Tiago knew his way with such speed that all Scorpius could focus on was the reminders of his ordeal. He couldn’t imagine it.

The fear. The self-loathing. The knowing exactly what you were doing.

Scorpius half-wondered why his dad had agreed to this. It was almost certainly illegal, given the hidden evidence and the attempt at tampering they had now instigated. But that didn’t matter. She was dead.

Tiago had one of his hands clenched, getting faster and faster as he dragged his hand along the walls. Scorpius kept his eyes fixed forward. He didn’t need to see anything around them. It wasn’t that he recognised much of it, but the bloodstains on some walls weren’t helping.

The building was larger than he had thought it would be. It was about five minutes of Tiago’s half-running pace before he stopped and placed his hands on a few of the stones.

“She had some protections on it,” he muttered, “but they’ll be gone now.”

A moment later, as if like clockwork, part of the wall cracked and swung open to reveal a small room. The three filed in and Draco lit his wand.

At first glance, you could have assumed the room had been abandoned in the previous seconds. It looked like a snapshot into the woman’s life, full of papers and chaos and magic. Sheets of parchment covered the walnut desk, most annotated by at least one or two messy scrawls. The ink pot was half full, but the quill had fallen out, leaving a messy trail.

The fire had burnt down but remained full of ash and the odd parchment scrap. Tiago went to the desk and starting rifling through some of the drawers. Scorpius joined him, doing as directed even if he didn’t know exactly what they were looking for.

While searching, he started to consider that, even if they found something to help, they would still have to admit about lying to his parents. And if it didn’t work, he would then be responsible for Albus’ death.

He had passed by life now. He wasn’t dead, but he was closer to that than life. Unconsciousness wasn’t living. Scorpius knew that, even if this resulted in Albus’ parents hatred, as long as he woke up, it wouldn’t matter. All that mattered was Albus.

How long had Albus been the centre of Scorpius’ universe? It felt longer than a lifetime, as if Albus had been the centre of everything before they had met. A guiding force to bring them both together.

Or maybe Scorpius only felt like that because of the seven missing months, because Albus had sat in the middle of his thoughts through every hour alone.

They continued to search in silence as Tiago grew more and more frantic. He started to push piles of parchment onto the floor to get a better look at the remaining things. Scorpius abandoned his search to tidy the area and make it easier to discern search from unsearched. He was probably more help like this.

Tiago stopped eventually, stumbling back as he clutched several scraps. He looked at Scorpius, nodding slowly.

“This is what she showed me,” he whispered. “All of it. Shit. _Shit_. I forgot how fucked up this is.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Let’s go.”

Scorpius nodded.

* * *

They arrived back at the Hospital fifteen minutes later, running along to Albus’ room. Scorpius couldn’t quite believe that Delphi had written down a literal cure beside the method of casting, but then again, it made sense.

She had been arrogant. She had assumed these notes were private, that no one else would ever find them. Which was why Scorpius trusted them to be correct. Not that they had anything else to go on.

Albus wasn’t getting better or worse. The lack of change would continue unless they tried something and this was their best bet. They had no start point, only an end goal. This seemed a good place to try from.

Scorpius didn’t know how Albus’ parents would react to any of it, but he would take full responsibility. At least they all had common ground. At least they all loved Albus with every part of their being.

Scorpius burst back into Albus’ room, clutching the parchment. Most of the Potters were gone now, and only Albus’ parents and siblings still sat with him. He was awake, staring forward blankly.

Scorpius froze up. The tension hung in the air, waiting for him to say something, anything, but he didn’t know what to say. 

“Mr Potter,” he winced as his voice cracked. “Mrs Potter. Could I talk to you? In private.”

James caught his eye and Scorpius nodded, a movement he hoped was subtle enough to escape the notice of most people in the room.

“About what?” Ginny asked.

“Albus.” Silence. “Something’s changed.”

Scorpius let out a sigh of relief as Harry and Ginny eyed each other, stood up, and followed Scorpius out the room. He, Tiago, Harry, and Ginny made their way down the corridor, finding a small room and sitting down.

And Scorpius explained all of it. He told them what had happened to Albus and what they had worked out. He explained the research and watched as Harry grew visibly more angry. Scorpius didn’t let himself stop. He was doing this, and he was doing this now. No more backing down.

When he finished, he couldn’t bring himself to look up from the floor. Harry pacing. Things were going to explode. The tension couldn’t have been thicker.

“You knew,” Harry spoke quietly, “what was wrong with Albus, and you kept it from us?”

“Yes. Sir.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want him to become an experiment,” Scorpius croaked. “It’s what happened to my mum – almost – I don’t know. It’s stupid but I just – I couldn’t…”

“And how can you be sure this ‘cure’ won’t hurt him?”

Silence.

“Have you forgotten what she’s capable of?”

Scorpius didn’t meet anyone’s gaze, attempting to pace his breathing in the way Albus had taught him to. If he concentrated a little more, he’d hear Albus in his ear, talking him through it, telling him it would all be okay.

“Mr Potter,” Tiago spoke for the first time. “I knew her. She was arrogant. She wouldn’t have thought anyone would ever seen that piece of parchment. She only told me about it because she needed an ego boost and assumed she’d be murdering me soon.”

“You knew about all of this?” Harry raised his eyebrows. “Did you not think that it might prove a future threat?”

Scorpius was about to try and stick up for Tiago, but he just continued talking, apparently unfazed by Harry’s rudeness.

“Because I wanted to move on. We all went through hell and you didn’t need to know because you had enough to convict her. She wasn’t meant to get out. I just wanted to move on.”

“We can’t just believe this will save Albus.”

“His condition isn’t going to change. Eventually, someone has to do something. This is the best shot we have.”

Silence.

“It’s worse seeing him like this than seeing him with that fucking fever that nearly killed him.

Scorpius stopped breathing.

“At least there was a chance he would survive that. At least he was conscious of what was going on. You know he isn’t anymore and this is the best chance you have to wake him up. If you don’t do this, the Healers will flounder around looking for a cure that doesn’t exist except for on this parchment.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” Harry looked close to exploding. “He is my son and if you are trying to suggest I don’t want what is best for him – safest for him…

He trailed off and Scorpius forced air back into his lungs. He’d never heard Tiago talk like that, never heard Tiago so angry, but it was hardly surprising. Between the attack, Craig’s hospitalisation, and everything else, the snap made sense.

“Mr Potter,” Scorpius croaked, “Albus had his soul – extracted. Normally, there’s no cure, but maybe that’s because of the method of – extraction.”

“Go on.”

“When a Dementor does it, that soul dissipates into the air. It dissolves. It’s gone so you can’t put it back in the person. We might be able to. We have Albus’ soul in a bottle. We have a chance. Please. _Please_.”

“What if it goes wrong? What if it isn’t a cure? What if Albus dies? I know he’s your friend, Scorpius. But he’s my son.”

“I love him.”

Scorpius froze as the words tumbled from his mouth. That had been a beyond stupid thing to say, and he was beyond stupid for letting it slip. He had outed Albus while uncovering an entire situation that had been under wraps for too long. But he’d started digging this hole now.

“I love Albus more than anyone else in the world. If I had the choice, I would give my life to wake him up. All I want is for him to be okay. It’s the only thing I want. If I genuinely didn’t think we had a good chance, I wouldn’t suggest it. I wouldn’t risk it.”

Silence.

“Does he know?” Ginny asked.

“Yeah,” Scorpius nodded. “We’re together.”

“Since when?”

“He asked me out the day before – she took us. We broke up after coming home. We got back together just before all this needed. I’m not letting him go. Not again. I’m going to fight for him. Please let me. Please.”

Ginny looked at her husband, beginning to converse in lowered whispers. Scorpius glanced at Tiago.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he muttered. “Albus should have been able to tell them that.”

“If we wake him up, he won’t blame you.”

“But still.”

“It was necessary in getting them to listen. Albus will understand.”

Scorpius nodded, biting back the remark about the risks and the ifs and buts and generally perpetual fear. He looked back at Albus’ parents, holding his breath as they made to talk again.

“You’re sure about this?” Ginny said softly.

“I can’t be,” Scorpius admitted. “But we can’t be sure about anything.” Silence. “I would do anything to save him. I will do anything to save him.”

More silence. Scorpius stopped trying to keep himself calm. If he didn’t get permission for this, he didn’t know what he would do next. He wouldn’t try it against their will, but there was no way in hell he was surrendering the bottle to Healers.

“Fine,” Harry breathed out slowly. “Try it.”

Scorpius stared.

“But I want every Healer you can find to give you the go ahead first. And – and don’t do it without us. Please.”

“I wouldn’t,” Scorpius promised. “I wouldn’t ever…”

“Thank you.”

* * *

Albus was already sleeping when the time came. It made it easier to do, knowing that they didn’t have to wait for him to doze off, but it did make what little goodbye they had more meaningless.

Scorpius glanced over Delphi’s notes again, swallowing. At this point, he’d committed them to memory, and they had spent so much time studying the proposed cure, but there was still a seed of doubt. That seed of fear that they were about to kill Albus and it would be his fault.

They had taken Albus’ soul and mixed it in with a surprisingly simple potion. This was to be administered through the eyes. Like a form of eyedrops. Scorpius wasn’t sure why that was the specified place, but magic was strange.

Scorpius wasn’t doing the procedure itself. Someone had suggested it. He refused, knowing that he would fuck it up in some way. And the Healers were much more qualified. It would be better if they did it.

Seven o’clock hit. The Potters, Tiago, Craig, Scorpius and his dad were all stood around Albus’ bed with a Healer, none of them drawing breath. Scorpius leaned into his dad. Now that it came to it, he couldn’t stop going to all the wrong places. All he could think about was how he hadn’t said goodbye and how it could all go wrong and how he would never be able to let go if this went wrong.

He would never recover if he lost Albus. Losing his mum had torn the world apart. Losing Albus would shred it beyond repair.

Scorpius’ dad kept a hand on his son’s shoulder, squeezing it in what Scorpius knew was an attempt at reassurance. It didn’t do much.

The room waited as the Healer started to administer the various potions. It seemed so simple for such a serious thing. Such a small, easy action that balanced life and death. Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe the only thing it balanced was Albus’ consciousness.

That was the best worst-case scenario. The scenario where it didn’t wake Albus, but it kept him stable and alive.

Scorpius stilled his mind. He couldn’t promise himself anything anymore, but if he could clear his mind, he could force hopefulness through. If he could still remember what that felt like.

He considered. What would it mean for Delphi to end up curing the thing she caused?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So something happened and now I am bordering on another hyperfixation. The Ocean at the End of the Lane is something else I swear to god and I therefore relaly need to find the book because I have so many questions the play left me with ah.
> 
> Thanks for reading.  
> Kudos and coments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273


	13. A Sense Of Finality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: discussions of previous death
> 
> Also, there is a section in here that I have written without much personal knowledge of the subject. It has been written and rewritten and proofed within an inch of its life to make sure it isn't insensitive or offensive. However, if I have done something you deem offensive or wrong, please contact me and I will do my best to educate myself and edit the chapter.  
> Offending people isn't my intention and I really don't want to hurt people.
> 
> Thanks

Scorpius didn’t know if time was passing. He had locked his gaze on Albus, unable to look away every though all he wanted to do was curl up and shut the word out. He wished that his mind would just shut up. He wanted quiet, stillness, some sense of calm. Instead, all he could do was overthink and wander down a hundred different possibilities.

The sleep deprivation probably didn’t help.

Scorpius hadn’t slept since this had begun. It hadn’t mattered until now, and even with the constant overanalysing, he didn’t regret it. They were here. If this worked, then it would be worth it. If it didn’t, then the sleep deprivation would continue until they found something that did.

The entire room held its breath as the Healer stepped away. Scorpius felt his eyes fill with tears as the seconds continued to drag on. Or maybe it was minutes. He couldn’t tell.

But none of that made a difference when Albus’ entire body tensed up. He started to curl in on himself, a phantom of some expression crossing his face as he pulled the covers over himself and relaxed, his breathing falling into a steady pattern. Scorpius stared.

“Well,” the Healer smiled widely, “he’ll need to sleep for a while and we will keep close monitors on the situation, but I think we can say that he will wake up.”

Scorpius let the tears flow down his cheeks. Albus was alive. Albus was going to wake up. Albus was going to be okay.

“I think,” Scorpius’ dad said softly, “you should get some sleep.”

“Dad, I need to stay with Albus–”

“When did you last sleep properly?”

“I’ll sleep after he wakes up.”

“Mr Malfoy,” the Healer continued to smile. “We have some roll mats if you’d be okay sleeping on those.”

Scorpius nodded before anyone could object. He did, however, only fully agree on sleeping when someone promised that, if Albus did wake up, they would also wake him up.

* * *

Most of his body ached. Everything felt strangely heavy and lethargic, like he had been asleep for weeks. He stretched out on the bed, taking the time to remember to breathe. It was a calming sensation. The whole atmosphere seemed as such. His thoughts flitted to Scorpius but, for some reason, he knew Scorpius was okay.

Albus opened his eyes, not being met with much. The room was dark, save for one candle on the other side. Albus pulled himself up to a sitting position, taking significantly more effort than he was accustomed to. He leant back against the headboard.

“Hello?”

A figure jumped in the darkness, causing the candle to flicker, and then they emerged from the shadows. Albus smiled as Tiago came into focus. He couldn’t think of anything to say. Everything seemed to be working shockingly slowly. Maybe he’d gotten hit in the head. It was plausible, given that he couldn’t remember anything.

“How are you feeling?” Tiago smiled.

“Achy,” Albus croaked. “And really – like really – lethargic.”

“Well, you’re awake.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure, but Delphi’s dead.”

“Where’s Scorpius?”

“Down there.”

Albus glanced down beside the bed, smiling at his boyfriend’s sleeping form on the floor.

“He asked me to wake him once you woke up.”

“How long have I have – asleep?”

“Three weeks or so. And you haven’t really been asleep.”

“He hasn’t slept, has he?”

“Not really.”

“Please don’t wake him. He needs this and I’ll see him in a few hours.”

Tiago nodded and Albus glanced around the rest of the room. His dad sat in a chair in the corner, possibly having tried to wait up for his son but having passed out.

“I can’t remember anything,” Albus muttered. “”And I need to sleep. Again.”

“Not much happened,” Tiago half-smiled. “You were ‘awake’ but you weren’t conscious. Your family looked after you and Scorpius and I managed to find a cure.”

“What did she do to me?”

“She pulled your soul out.”

Albus swallowed, trying to ignore the nausea that had started to build in his stomach. Whatever happened now, he could just remember that he had survived and they had found a way back and it would all be okay and something else and something else.

“I should go back to sleep,” he muttered, sliding down onto the bed again.

Tiago murmured something. Albus didn’t catch it. It didn’t matter. He let himself slip back to sleep, knowing that, very soon, it would all be okay. He would see Scorpius. He would know how long he had until he could leave. He could go back to school. He and Scorpius could actually have their date.

* * *

It appeared to be about midmorning when Albus woke up again. The lights were on. People were talking. Healers. Family. General chatter. And Scorpius. Angry Scorpius. Albus kept his eyes closed as he attempted to focus on in the conversation.

“He woke up?”

“At about three in the morning,” Tiago sounded very calm.

“I told you to wake me up.”

“I know, but I asked him what he wanted and he told me not to on account of your lack of sleep recently.”

“He asked you not to?”

“He cares about you as much as you care about him. That’s why I didn’t wake you.”

Albus opened his eyes, catching Tiago’s gaze and smirking. Tiago smiled back, glancing at Scorpius.

“What?” Scorpius snapped. “Why is this funny?”

“Scorpius.”

“It’s not funny–”

“It’s not, but I really don’t think it’s worth raised voices when there is someone else who wants to talk to you much more than I do.”

Scorpius turned around, freezing as he laid eyes on Albus. Albus smiled at him, taking a moment to process the sight before him. Scorpius had been crying, his eyes still red. His hair was a mess and his clothes were crumpled. But he was still Scorpius Malfoy, and Albus loved him.

“Hey,” he croaked, trying to muster the energy to sit up. The Healers would swarm soon. He wanted a moment. “How are you?”

Scorpius perched on the edge of the bed, helping upright and he squeaked when Albus threw his arms around him (or tried to – it more ended up being general body weight turned hug by Scorpius).

“I’m sorry,” Scorpius whispered.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” Albus whispered back, raising his hand to stroke his boyfriend’s hair.

“I told your parents about us. And you. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care.”

Albus didn’t stop to think about his answer. Because he didn’t care. It made it easier not to keep secrets, and if his parents didn’t want him around anymore, then that was their loss. Albus would find somewhere to go.

But his parents wouldn’t mind. After everything they had been through, abandoning him now wouldn’t make sense.

The Healers descended soon after. Albus didn’t complain through all of their tests and charms and poking and prodding. By the end of it, even though it had only been about half an hour, Albus was reaching exhaustion again. He knew his family had just come in, and he felt bad about it, but he hoped the Healers would have some explanation. He couldn’t find the strength to stay awake.

He pulled Scorpius onto the bed again, lying down and scooting over slightly.

“Lie down?”

“It’s your bed.”

“And I want to cuddle you and make up for some lost time.”

Scorpius rolled his eyes, lying down facing Albus. The bed was small, so their faces were an inch from one another. Albus tucked his head into Scorpius’ shoulder, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

“I love you.”

* * *

When Albus woke up again, Scorpius had curled up into him, still asleep. His family were also sat at the edge of the bed and Albus found his gaze drawn to Lily. She kept fiddling with something in her hands, seemingly close to tears.

“Hey,” Albus smiled at her. “How are you?”

The following reunion was reminiscent of their previous hospital reunion and Albus couldn’t stop smiling. They caught up. They talked. They insisted on checking on Albus’ wellbeing once every few minutes.

When Scorpius woke up and went off to find a cup of tea, Albus beckoned Lily to sit beside him. She had been particularly quiet and timid throughout the conversation.

“Hey,” Albus put his arms around her. “What’s wrong, Lil?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t wake up,” Lily muttered.

Her words sounded rehearsed. Albus believed her, but he also understood that there would be something more to it. He didn’t push her, instead taking her hand and squeezing it. She met his gaze, a single tear trickling down her cheek. She leaned closer, close enough to be able to whisper.

“I thought,” her voice shook, “that you wouldn’t wake up, and it would be my fault.”

“Why on earth would it be your fault?”

“Delphi died. I thought – we thought – we she was the only one who could wake you up. But she died.”

“That’s not your fault.”

Albus understood what she was implying, but he didn’t want to believe it. Believing it meant admitting that his stupidity had brought something like that upon his sister. He would have faced Delphi a hundred times more to stop Lily having to go through that.

But he couldn’t make that bargain, so he simply wrapped his arms around Lily and rocked her back and forth.

“I’m alive,” he murmured. “I’m going to be okay. And what you did will have saved people. You saved people from so much pain.”

“I killed her. I didn’t mean to, but it happened anyway.”

Albus waited for her to continue without prompting, wiping away her tears. Lily swallowed a few times, biting her lip.

“I thought she was going to hurt you and Scorpius. I thought I was just getting her away from you. I didn’t mean – what happened – it wasn’t meant to…”

“You were trying to keep us safe. It’s not right, but you would never intentionally hurt anyone or anything. You were scared. Fear does scary things to people. Nothing is going to happen now, and if it does, you won’t get caught up in it.”

Lily nodded, throwing her arms around her brother again.

* * *

Things continued in much the same way over the next few weeks. Albus reunited with more and more of his family, and then fell asleep. He sat up for half an hour, and then fell asleep. He did about five minutes of easy physical therapy and passed out for seven hours.

All the Healers said it wasn’t surprising. His soul had been ripped from and reinserted into his body and no one knew the long-term effects. It was no surprise that it physically screwed him over.

His condition had started to improve. He would sleep a little less each day and be awake a little longer. Apparently this was positive progress, though Albus wasn’t sure how it could be considered as such in a unique case.

He didn’t object, however. He was still alive, he saw Scorpius and his family every day, and no one forced him to talk about what happened. It could have been much worse. Now that Delphi was dead, no one had suggested a trial. Albus didn’t care. He just wanted a return to normality, even if that was now unattainable.

Albus started to get significantly cooped up after three weeks of bedrest. Now that he stayed awake for much longer, he was starting to get cooped up. He wanted to go for a walk, even just a short one. He planned it to an almost ridiculous degree, working out exactly when he would be most rested. He told several Healers. He made sure Scorpius would be there.

That last part wasn’t difficult. Scorpius came to see him every day and, once they were all sure Albus would make a recovery, he had even slipped in a question about their date.

When the time arranged for the walk came, Scorpius was sat beside Albus as he sat up. He moved his legs slowly off the bed, placing his feet on the floor and smiling as he did so. Scorpius took his hand as he placed on weight on his legs, and it was a good thing he did because Albus’ legs buckled beneath him and he landed on the floor, slowed only by Scorpius trying to catch him.

Albus forced his eyes to remain open, trying not to cry. He couldn’t stand up. He couldn’t do the bare minimum of physical activity because, somehow the lethargy had come back in full force. He had been asleep less than twenty minutes.

Albus did his best to support his own weight as Scorpius helped him back onto the bed. He leant against the frame, trying to ignore the tears pooling in his eyes.

“Well,” he muttered, “that’s a thing.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m not hurt, but I’m tired. Again. So that’s fun.”

“It’ll get better,” Scorpius tried to smile. “It’s just a bit early.”

Albus nodded. He appreciated Scorpius attempting to make him feel better, but all he wanted was to sleep again. He wanted to get better. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life relying on someone else. He hated being a burden.

“I’m going to sleep,” Albus muttered, lying down and closing his eyes.

At least the exhaustion was so overwhelming nowadays that he never dreamt.

* * *

When Albus woke up again, Healer Barnes was sat beside him. Albus resisted the urge to turn away, knowing that this way all in effort to help him. He wanted to get better. He really did. But he also had the feeling that that was very unlikely now. He wanted to get on with what little was left. He wanted to go home, even if he still wouldn’t be able to move from his bed.

He hadn’t been home since September, and since then he’d been taken halfway across Europe to spend a week with the worst person he had ever met. He had spent weeks on the brink of death. He’d had his fucking soul ripped out. He wanted to go home and see something more familiar than the four walls of this room.

Albus made himself sit up and make eye contact with the Healer. He could be vaguely civil, and Scorpius would be here soon.

“So,” Healer Barnes flicked through some notes, “Scorpius told me what happened earlier.”

“How long was I asleep?”

“The normal time.” Slight pause. “We have been considering some options, and the most practical one seems to be a wheelchair.”

“I can walk.”

“You can, but it exhausts you. This would enable you to move around. You could go outside.”

Albus bit his lip. He didn’t want to say yes. His one objection didn’t seem like a rational one, but he really didn’t want to rely on anyone else, Scorpius being the exception. Still, with a wheelchair, he would have more independence than he did now.

He could move around. He could go outside. Maybe he could even go home. But still, he didn’t want to just agree or disagree outright. He had to think about this. 

“Can I have a bit of time?” he muttered, digging his nails into his palms. 

“I can bring a chair up,” Healer Barnes suggested. “You and Scorpius could go for a walk later. How does that sound?”

“Sure,” Albus shrugged. “Yeah. Sure.”

Healer Barnes smiled at him, checking a couple more things before leaving. Albus looked up at the ceiling, his eyes starting to fill with tears. Not that he was particularly upset at anything. Just something about being tired. He didn’t try and stop the tears. When Scorpius arrived half an hour later, he didn’t ask questions. He sat down on the bed, wrapping his arms around Albus and stroking his hair.

Around lunchtime, Albus asked Scorpius to help him into the wheelchair at the end of the bed. It was an uncomfortable experience to begin with, but Albus kept hand on Scorpius’ as they travelled down the corridors to the green space in the central courtyard. The first few seconds in the open, despite the cold, was one of the best things Albus had ever experienced.

The world became lighter, stiller. The air settled completely as the two sat in the centre of the square.

They talked for hours. Albus took much longer than usual to become drowsy, and while he did fall asleep on the way back to the room, he had stayed awake for the longest period of time since he had woken up.

* * *

Time continued in much the same fashion after that day. Albus accepted the use of the wheelchair, going outside every day and generally healing more quickly than he had before. There had even been talk of him going home. He encouraged this.

His sleeping patterns also began returning to something more normal and, one evening, he was lying on his bed, head in Scorpius’ lap, staring at the ceiling. This seemed to have become Albus’ pre-sleep routine.

“What do you think you’ll do next?” he asked quietly, yawning.

“I’m going to back to Hogwarts,” Scorpius murmured. “I’ve been keeping up with the work so I can just slip back into classes and everything. Do OWLs and NEWTs. Then hopefully qualify for Healing school.”

“You’d be really good at Healing,” Albus smiled at his boyfriend.

“I haven’t much success at stuff like that yet.”

“But you will. You’re brilliant at potions and all the healing-y subjects. And you’re kind. You’re so, so kind and well-meaning and honest. You’re going to be a brilliant Healer.”

“If people can look past the last name.”

“They will. They’ll have to. When you prove to them that you’re an amazing Healer, they can’t exactly turn you away.”

Scorpius giggled. “You’re putting a lot of pressure on me.”

“Because I believe in you.”

Scorpius smiled again. “What about you?”

“I’m not sure,” Albus admitted. “I can’t go back to school. Maybe I could learn at home, but I can’t stay awake for whole days, and sleeping two hours per break isn’t an option.”

The two sat in contented silence for a few minutes, Albus allowing himself to contemplate his future. He had very little idea of what he could do. Who would take him on as an employee when he couldn’t stay conscious for more than three or four hours?

“What if I stop getting better?” he mumbled, the thought slipping out before his filter caught it.

“What do you mean?”

“What if there’s a point where I just don’t get better anymore? Like. Stuck in limbo.”

“We’ll work it out. You don’t have to stop living. It just involves changing things a bit. But it is us. I am here for you. I am going to help you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Albus snuggled a little closer to him, closing his eyes and allowing himself to drift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if there is anything you found was offensively written or badly done, please reach out to me in the comments or DM me on Instagram or Twitter. I will reply quickly.
> 
> I've finished editing the whole thing, which is a weird thing to say after having this project for about a year and a half. But we're one chapter and an epilogue from the end, and then I have a current WIP and a planned one ready to start asap.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter/Instagram: @evie_adams273 (DMs open)
> 
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Trump  
> Black Lives Matter


	14. At End Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: mentions of anxiety
> 
> Again, if I do anything wrong with the depictions in here, please DM me.

Albus came home a week and a half later. He had accepted and genuinely liked using the wheelchair, and his parents had swapped his room and the study as the study was downstairs. Scorpius went back to school, still visiting Albus three times a week.

Life started to adjust to a new normal. Limited movement. Increased exhaustion and sleeping. Weekly check-ups at St. Mungo’s. Most of the time, it was just Albus and his mum at home. No one (Albus included) felt entirely happy to leave him alone yet, but his mum could work from home easily enough.

Albus started to attempt some school, devoting the majority of his time to looking at things he would want to do with his life now. He did find some things. It was difficult to know if any of them were options, but having the consideration made him smile.

One night, about three weeks in, Albus’ mum had had to go out for something. Scorpius was due to come over, so they all agreed it wouldn’t be an issue. When Albus started to get peckish, he decided that it would probably be okay for him to try something.

It probably wasn’t a good idea to start without Scorpius, but Albus wanted to do this by himself. He went through to the kitchen, leaving his chair at the edge of the room and walking over to the stove.

He pulled a pan from the cupboard, pouring water into it with a deep breath. He had been awake for about an hour now, so he probably had about two hours before the exhaustion would be overwhelming. Based on the assumption that his sleep pattern would remain the same, he had time to cook.

He had spent two months in Hospital. Maybe longer. He only remembered half of it. They hadn’t really talked about what had happened when he was unconscious. Every time they came close, Scorpius had grown uncomfortable and Albus did not intend to push it.

What he did know about that time was that he had been completely dependant. If he could make pasta for himself, eat it, and then enjoy his boyfriend’s company, he could take more steps towards independence.

Being alone would offer him the time to think properly. He knew what happened hadn’t been his fault, but he was cautious to shift the blame onto the person who had landed him in Hospital. After all, he had walked into the situation willingly. He took some of the blame.

Albus shut the thoughts down. He had tried that route before. Tracing back blame until it started to drive him insane and left him sobbing in a dark room. In the end, it was easier not to blame anyone and just try and move to recovery.

Move into the nightmares and panic attacks and general attempts to cope with whatever reality they now inhabited. Maybe it would be easier now since this was the second time. Not that he had made it out the other side previously.

He doubted anything would get much better anytime soon.

He poured the pasta into the pan, before removing about half of it. He wasn’t that hungry. Scorpius would berate him for this decision, but Albus didn’t have the focus to care. He turned on the hob and leant against the worksurface to watch it. He couldn’t sit. He would fall asleep if he sat down.

This feeling of minor tiredness would only be temporary. Just a blip. He would certainly be okay for long enough to finish cooking. Or at least he hoped so – he would lose much of his parents’ sympathy if he managed to burn down the house in the half hour he had been left alone.

He moved towards the sink, turning on the tap and starting to wash up. The cold water running over his hands sent little refreshing shock waves through his skin, particularly when he splashed it on his face.

The time started to pass. When the pot started to boil over, Albus didn’t notice until the water had exploded from underneath the pan lid. It hit the gas flames with a violent fizzling sound and he swore, trying to turn down the gas. He picked up the lid, laying it down on the free hob. The next step should have been to find a fork and test how ready the pasta was, but Albus had become strangely lightheaded.

His heart had started to race and he clutched the worksurface. Conscious. He had to stay conscious. Or at least turn to the gas off.

He fumbled with the dial, hands oddly slack.

Merlin. Fucking Merlin. This had been a terrible idea. He wasn’t even that hungry.

He had to turn the gas off. He had to turn it off otherwise it would make a massive mess and, if he passed out, he would end up getting hurt again. He didn’t want to have to deal with burns on top of everything else.

“Albus?”

“Kitchen,” Albus stepped back from the hob as Scorpius came in.

His arms snaked around Albus, wrapping him in a tight hug, but Albus shook his head, trying to gesture to the hob.

“Turn it off – I can finish this later.”

Scorpius obliged. “What are you trying to do?”

“Make dinner,” Albus muttered, “and it’s probably ready now so…”

He went to pick up the pan and take it to the sink, but he stumbled. Scorpius caught his arm, pulling him to a halt and taking his hands. 

“You’re exhausted. Let me.”

“I’m fine,” Albus lied, trying to reach for the pan; Scorpius stood firm.

Albus was aware that he was not fine. He knew had gotten somewhere to the point of exhaustion and whatever form his anxiety had taken today, but he wanted to do this so fucking much. He wanted to prove that he could do things for himself, even now. He needed to prove that things hadn’t changed. He didn’t to do this.

“Albus,” Scorpius said softly. “I know. Okay. I know what’s going on inside your head. But you’re going to hurt yourself. Please let me do this. Please.”

Albus shook his head, his eyes starting to fill with tears. He couldn’t even make a meal. He was seventeen and he couldn’t make himself dinner. Pasta wasn’t supposed to be difficult to cook. But he couldn’t.

But he knew Scorpius was right. He knew that his hands were shaking too much to do this. He kept seeing shadows in places where shadows didn’t exist. The room had huge window and the light danced off the worksurfaces, but he couldn’t stop seeing things in every possible nook and cranny.

Albus fell back into Scorpius’ arms, allowing himself to be guided to a seat. He leant back into it, now fighting to stay awake. He still wanted to talk to Scorpius now that there visits were less frequent.

Scorpius turned off the tap that Albus had been washing up with.

“It’s just the pasta, right?” he said as he did so. “You haven’t got anything in the oven?”

“No,” Albus shook his head. “Just the pasta. And my inability to cook.”

“You’re able to cook,” Scorpius turned the gas back on and grabbed a fork. “You’d probably be able to finish making it in a few weeks time. You could cook for us.”

“It’s pathetic, though.”

Scorpius looked back at him. “Please tell me you remember why you’re in this situation.”

Silence.

“Albus, you saved us. You saved me and you saved Lily and James. This – what you’ve paid – the prices – you shouldn’t have had to pay those. You are allowed to rely on other people.”

“New concept.”

“Relying on other people?”

“Yeah.”

“What about me?”

“You’re different. You’re you.”

“I’m honoured.”

“Scorpius, you know what I mean. You were there before any of this happened. And I know it started with us fighting, but even that…well… you know…”

“I know.”

Scorpius picked up the pan, pouring it through the sieve in the sink. While waiting for it to drain, he sat down next to Albus, taking his hands. Albus blinked a few times, trying to wake up a little more.

“You are the strongest person I have ever met,” Scorpius whispered. “And I love you. And I will always love you. I will be here for you when you need support, and I’ll still be here even when you don’t. Okay? You and me. We’re going to take this next bit one step at a time. And I know it’s going to hurt, but I’m going to be right here for you.”

“I’m here for you too,” Albus murmured back. “You hide things. You keep things locked up because you think it’s easier. But I’m here for you too. I love you.”

Scorpius cupped Albus’ cheek, leaning in towards him and whispering the words again. Albus closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. He knew Scorpius was right. Everything was over. For good. He was allowed to teach himself to rely on other people.

* * *

Albus limped into the kitchen a few days later, sitting down opposite his mum. She smiled at him, putting down her quill. He tried to smile back as he worked out what to say.

What he wanted to suggest came with a risk factor. If he couldn’t make this work, he wouldn’t get another opportunity for a long time. Given the pasta incident, he should have left this long. But he didn’t want to wait. The nightmares were creeping into his daylight and he needed a new distraction.

“I know I can’t go back to school,” he started quietly, “but I need to do – something.”

Silence. Albus cringed. He hadn’t meant it to come out like that.

“I mean, I know I’m still healing, but I…”

“I understand,” his mum nodded, smiling softly.

He smiled back, the tension starting to seep from his body. Things were much easier when he didn’t have to work out how to articulate worries and fears and thoughts and aspirations.

“Did you have anything specific in mind?”

Albus nodded, waiting for the new wave of overwhelming anxiety to subside before he continued. He’d thought this through plenty of times, but that never stopped the nerves.

“Something to do with Magical Creatures,” he grew more timid as he spoke. “But I don’t think any sanctuaries would let me volunteer much when I’m in a wheelchair and I can’t go more than two or three hours without needing to sleep.”

“I’m sure they’ll be somewhere willing to let you volunteer. If you want, I can get in touch with Luna.”

“Does she run a sanctuary?”

That surprised Albus, although he knew it shouldn’t have done. Luna had always loved animals. She had become a Magizoologist and married a Scamander. It should not have surprised him that Luna ran a sanctuary.

“Technically yes, though I think she spends more time rescuing creatures in the wild. Now that Newt Scamander has retired, I’m fairly sure he’s given her and Rolf his case.”

Albus nodded. “You think they’d let me volunteer?”

“This is something Luna set up. I don’t think she’d turn down anyone as long as they were keen and they cared.”

Albus smiled, nodding again. He didn’t know where to place how he felt about this. Hopeful. Maybe that was it. He’d met Luna more than a few times, though not in any sort of formal situation. If she had final say over this, he trusted she would be accepting. As long as he practised using the chair a little more; he wasn’t in habit of using it at the moment.

* * *

Albus swallowed as he stared around the sanctuary office. The nausea had only started building properly when he had said goodbye to his mum and begun waiting alone of the sanctuary director.

Merlin. Why did the second thoughts have to come in when he no longer had the opportunity to back down? No. No. It would all be fine. Probably. Maybe.

The question he really wanted to ask himself was ‘what the worst that could happen?’ He did not ask himself this because it was a stupid question when almost every fear he’d had in the last week was an irrational one. Apart from the nightmares about Delphi. Those had never been irrational.

Even if she was now dead, Albus wasn’t going to beat himself up over it. She had come back. She had done worse.

Albus forced a smile, reminding himself of the fact that he was seeing Scorpius tonight. It remained mildly surprising that Scorpius came to see him three nights a week and maintained his OWLs. Scorpius had laughed when he’d mentioned it.

Albus wiped his palms on his trousers, breathing in deeply. The sanctuary director would arrive soon and he could then concentrate on that. Not to mention it was much easier to stay awake when he had a point of focus.

The door opened a couple of moments later, the sanctuary director walking in and smiling at Albus before settling opposite him.

“Hi,” they held out their hand – Albus reached out to shake it before immediately regretting his decision. “I’m Atiya. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You – it’s nice to meet you too. I’m Albus.”

Atiya smiled, putting Albus more at ease. He still didn’t know what was doing, given that he had assumed he wouldn’t be in any sort of job interview until much later in life. But here he was.

“So, Albus,” Atiya smiled again, “you want to volunteer here?”

“Yes,” Albus nodded. “I know I’m not the easiest person to have working for you, so I completely understand if you don’t want me to volunteer here.”

Wow. Just wow. Apparently he had no interest in hiding his complete lack of self-worth. Well. That had been said now. He would just have to ride it out.

“We run a sanctuary for injured animals,” Atiya’s expression remained soft. “Many of them will be here for the rest of their lives, due to the injury nature. Refusing to even try to accommodate someone offering to help them, whoever they are, is wrong. All we ask is that you’re a good person, and I can see no reason why you are not.”

Albus breathed out, a little of the tension leaving his upper body. It didn’t return and he could say that, at least in that moment, he was a little more at-ease with his own existence. Whatever fear he’d had, it was partially abated by knowing that things would work out. Not completely abated.

“I’m just going to ask you a couple of questions,” Atiya glanced at the notes on their desk. “Standard procedure.”

Albus nodded.

“Why are you interested in volunteering here?”

“I want to do some good in the world,” Albus didn’t even need to think. “I want to make someone else’s life better. If it helps me too, then that’s an upside.”

Atiya smiled. “Okay, and second question: are there any things we should be aware of about you, apart from what you’ve already said?”

This took a little more thought, and a small internal debate as to what Albus wanted to admit.

“I have anxiety attacks,” he murmured. “Sometimes. So I’m not always reliable.”

“That’s okay,” Atiya said. “And, last question, in terms of the exhaustion you mentioned in the application, what would you need to make volunteering easier for you.”

“I’m not entirely sure of my capabilities yet,” Albus admitted, “but from what I can tell, I can be active for about two hours, with the chair. After that, I’d need to be able to sleep for an hour or so. Though both those numbers may improve with time.”

“There’s a spare cupboard that isn’t in use down the corridor. There’s a window and enough room for your chair and bedding.”

“Okay,” Albus smiled. “Okay. Thank you. That would be great.”

“Amazing,” Atiya smiled back. “Do you want to meet a few of the animals?”

Albus nodded. Atiya stood and Albus followed them out into the corridor and away from the front entrance. They emerged outside into what could only be described as a sort of Wonderland.

Someone had put an Undetectable Extension Charm on the entire area. Past the immediate enclosures, there were several huge fields that Albus could have sworn he had not seen on the walk up from the apparition point.

Each area possessed a different climate and habitat. They were all full of creatures, but not crowded. None of it was uncomfortable. A sense of natural calm simply washed over the place. Albus grinned.

“Luna Lovegood designed the park,” Atiya said. “She modelled it off Newt Scamander’s case.”

“It’s incredible,” Albus breathed. “This is just – it’s beautiful.”

“The animals out in the field are those who can’t leave because of injury or trauma. Most of the animals in these enclosures will leave us once they’re healed.”

Albus nodded, following Atiya towards the rows of enclosures. Atiya explained who each animal was, adding in details about the volunteering post. Albus listened, entirely in awe. He had always known that creatures piqued his interest, but the intrigue and magic had awoken something almost primal within him. This was what he wanted to do with the rest of his life.

Atiya stopped outside an enclosure full of large hedges. Albus stopped beside them, his eyes finding the bird inside. It seemed to be scowling in its hunched form that only accentuated its look of a thin vulture.

“Puff is a special case,” Atiya explained. “She’s not physically injured, but she’s too dangerous to be released. She’s very defensive.”

“Of territory?”

“No. She just attacks everyone who enter the enclosure. We made the decision that it’s not worth the risk to put her in a social space. She’s got space to fly.

Albus looked a little closer, his stomach lurching as he met the bird’s gaze and realised a number of obvious things.

“She’s an Augurey.”

“She is. Good spot.”

“Where did she come from?”

“She was brought here by the Ministry. They found her in a raid on Rowle Manor.”

Albus stopped. The conversation flashing through his mind could have been had moments ago, rather than seven months ago. H still remembered all of it, though he couldn’t place why they had ended up talking about it in the first place.

“Was she not returned Euphemia?”

“Euphemia was not deemed an appropriate carer. Especially after Puff had bitten everyone who tried to carry her.”

Albus moved ever so slightly closer, catching Puff’s attention and smiling at her. At first, she seemed to be ignoring him, but she hopped down from the branch.  
Albus looked at Atiya.

“Can I get a little closer?”

“That’s unadvisable – she’s very volatile.”

“If I get hurt, I take full responsibility,” Albus said. “Please. There’s – there’s something…”

“Okay,” Atiya nodded. “But we can’t take responsibility if you are injured.”

Albus nodded, placing his hands on the arms of the chair and pushing himself to standing. Once on his feet, he moved forward slowly, waiting for Puff to acknowledge his moments several times. When she was about a foot from the fence, Albus sat down, matching her position.

They sat for a few minutes, before Puff hopped to the fence and poked her beak through. She squawked, eyes focussed on Albus and he smiled. He edged closer again, holding up in his hand in the least threatening manner he could manage. Puff pecked him a couple of times, but it didn’t hurt. It was just a matter of not flinching the first time.

“Hey,” Albus murmured. “Hey, Puff. How are you?”

Puff answered by resting her beak against his hand, moving a little like a cat. Albus giggled.

“That’s incredible,” Atiya murmured. “Do you know her from somewhere else?”

“I think,” Albus drew in a breath, “that we have been hurt by the same people.”

“Euphemia?”

“Someone else. Though, I suppose you could trace us all back to Euphemia.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not on you,” Albus glanced back at them. “And anyway, she’s gone now.” He turned back to Puff. “You hear that? She’s gone. She’s not going to hurt you or me ever again.”

Albus’ next consideration was a bad idea. Or it would come across as such. But if he could phrase it right, and if he was careful, then it might work. Maybe it would even go well.

“Could I go in?” he asked.

“Into the enclosure?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“I know, but if this defied expectations…”

“If anything happens, Puff is the priority. If she goes mental, I’m not going to hurt you to get you out.”

“I completely understand.”

“Go in, if you want,” Atiya pointed to the entrance, “but, again, you are entirely responsible for yourself.”

Albus stood, standing again and making his way to the door. Puff watched him enter, close the door, and sit again at the edge. He stayed still as she hopped towards him, taking her time. She squawked a couple of times, pecking his outstretched fingers. He giggled and she flapped her wings, nearly knocking Albus over as she landed on his shoulders.

“Hey,” Albus whispered. “Hey, Puff. How are you?”

“Can you reach her food?” Atiya asked.

“Not without jolting her, I don’t think,” Albus glanced around. “Puff. Hey. Hey. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?”

Puff nipped his ear and Albus started to stand. He moved, inch by inch, and Puff went with him. She didn’t seem to object at all as Albus grabbed a handful of her feed, holding it up near her and she pecked at it.

Albus glanced back at Atiya to see that they were staring at the sight before them.

“Do you want a job here, Albus,” they said quietly.

“What?”

“Do you want to work here?”

“I’m happy to volunteer,” Albus blurted.

“I’d like to assign you specifically to look after Puff. This – I’ve never seen her not attack someone, let alone this. This would be the sort of role you should be paid for.”

“I’m – I’m not sure…”

“There wouldn’t be a change to the hours already discussed. Or the sleeping arrangements. Nothing would change. Except – if you’re actually doing more than any of the volunteers, with this. You should be employed, not volunteering.”

Albus glanced at Puff, raising his spare hand to stroke the top of her head. “What do you think, eh? Do you think I should work here?”

Puff rubbed her head against his hand, cawing cheerfully. Albus smiled as she fluttered down from his shoulder and hopped onto his knee, only to begin nibbling on his finger.

“Is that a yes?”

Albus nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck how are we nearly at the end?  
> Formulated second week of summer 2019. Wrapped up - now?
> 
> A guy has let me infodump solidly for two lunch breaks in a row now and holy shit it feels amazing.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Fuck TERFs  
> Black Lives Matter


	15. Epilogue

Albus popped his head around Atiya’s door as he passed one morning. Atiya looked up from their paperwork, smiling at Albus.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Albus said. “I just thought I’d let you know I’m going to leave a bit early today. I’ll take it out of my rest time, though. It won’t make a difference.”

“Okay,” Atiya nodded. “Family dinner?”

“I’ve got a date,” Albus smiled. “Several years overdue.”

Atiya smiled back. “Enjoy it.”

Albus and Scorpius had picked tonight three weeks ago. They planned it, not obsessively, but enough to make it the best first date they could possibly have. They deserved it.

Scorpius got permission from Hogwarts. He would pick Albus up from the Sanctuary, and from there, they would go to a muggle restaurant Draco had suggested. Albus suspected it had been significant part of his marriage, and he had no reason to disagree. Even if he and Scorpius had intended their first date to be in Hogsmeade, this felt better. More fitting.

It wouldn’t make up for the lost time, but it did do something. Just a little something.

Albus couldn’t stop smiling through the day. He played with Puff, before feeding her and continuing with the rehabilitation program. Her previous injuries had healed back and, while she was good at masking them, it was not an indefinite act. They were taking it slowly.

Albus loved it. He had never enjoyed doing something as much as he enjoyed this. Even Care of Magical Creatures lessons were incomparable. It was more rewarding than he would gave ever guessed when he devoted his evenings to research in order to come in and employ that knowledge.

Puff grew to trust him more. Albus had to admit he started to confide in her somewhat. Even on bad days, coming in was easier knowing that he could talk to her, even if she didn’t understand the specifics.

Today was pretty much the same as most days. The two followed their routines and got through the day. Albus told Puff about the date, and about how excited he was. She seemed to share the emotion somewhat.

At around two thirty, Atiya came up to the enclosure, stopping, and Albus looked up and waved. Puff cawed quietly, hopping behind Albus. He ensured she was okay before looking back at Atiya.

“Hey.”

“If you wanted, I’m happy for you to sleep now and cut your shift short,” Atiya said, “as long as it doesn’t become a regular thing. This is a special night for you.”

“I don’t want to upset her routine,” Albus said, “but thanks.”

“Well, take the option if you change your mind,” Atiya walked away.

Albus looked back at Puff, smiling at her. “What do you think? Should I sleep?”

Puff cawed.

“How would feel about me napping in here? Should we have a nap?”

* * *

Scorpius let himself into the Sanctuary building, his palms starting to stick to themselves. He didn’t want to get in anyone’s way, especially when he didn’t have an exact idea of where he was meant to go. He walked down the corridor, counting the doors until he reached the one that Albus had said was his. He knocked.

There wasn’t a reply and Scorpius rested his hand on the door knob, about to turn it, when someone appeared at the end of the corridor.

“Are you Scorpius?”

“Yes,” Scorpius stepped away from the door. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“You didn’t. I’m Atiya. Albus isn’t in there.”

“He isn’t?”

“He didn’t want to cut his shift short, so he compromised and is asleep in the enclosure.

Scorpius shook his head with a smile. Something about that was just so unspeakably _Albus_. He shouldn’t have been surprised.

“The enclosure is out the back door and third on the right.”

“Thank you.”

“Have a good date.”

Scorpius bit his lip. The entire reason for being here kept slipping from his mind. A date. An actual, official date. They had been together for such a long time that this might just have ended up feeling like another night in. Maybe the ‘date’ would fall into place when they reached the restaurant.

Scorpius made his way along the corridor, unable to stop himself gazing across the Sanctuary grounds. Albus’ descriptions hadn’t managed to do it justice. This was something truly magnificent, truly beautiful. He couldn’t stop looking around as he walked down to where Albus would be. And sure enough, Albus was asleep on the floor, grass in his hair. The Augurey was asleep beside him.

Scorpius leant against the fence with another smile. Albus looked peaceful. It had been long since Scorpius had seen him look so happy, so in his element. Scorpius wanted to savour this. Remember it for all time. A little reminder they would find peace.

“Hey,” Albus’ eyes were open. “How are you?”

“Hey, love,” Scorpius grinned. “I’m okay. How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Albus chuckled. “Give me a second; I’ll come out.”

He stroked the Augurey’s head with a soft murmur. She cawed, pecking his nose, Albus laughed.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said. “I promise.”

Scorpius stood back as Albus got to his feet and walked to the door. The Augurey spread her wings and flew up to the front, hooking her feet over the wires.

Scorpius watched her, unmoving, as Albus appeared at his side.

“I think she likes you,” he said. “She doesn’t come down to the front a lot.”

“She’s sweet.”

“Ready for tonight?”

“It doesn’t feel real yet,” Scorpius admitted. “We decided this so long ago.”

“Let’s hope it lives up to expectations.”

“I think it’ll surpass them.” Pause. “Can I push the chair?”

“Yes.”

Scorpius took the wheelchair handles and started to push Albus back up the path. Albus placed a hand on top of Scorpius’, squeezing it gently. 

“I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very aware that that date has been 1-2 years in the making. Possible slow burn is over. At the end of the story.
> 
> So yes, this is finally complete after a year and a half. And it's been a weird year. I feel like I should go back and reread the beginning of the series and examine writing style and mental stability. Because both have probably changed.  
> I have a WIP I'm nearing the end of, and then I have gone back to a very old idea and rewritten the chapter plan with the intention of actually writing it this time. For context, the chapter plan is now four pages, 1600 words, and it took 3-4 hours. So I have high hopes.  
> Probably will be some one shots around at some point, though I'm not sure when. They're random snippets of ideas. Might start a small series. Write one a month or something.
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed these two books because it has been somewhat all-consuming. Back to my life (more writing - it's more writing).
> 
> Thank you for reading (no seriously it means a ton)  
> Kudos and comments always appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Should I use this section to come out again (knowing who reads this)?
> 
> Fuck JKR. Fuck TERFs in general.  
> Black Lives Matter


End file.
